i have been left out of my husband bachelor party… but was it a bachelor party ?

Hello Friends !
I need some advice !

My husband had his bachelor party last week.He always told me he wanted to do something chill with his friends at the bar, like playing music with his band and he would love me to be there.
I knew his bestman was planning his bachelor for him on saturday so i just make sure i had nothing planned this day and didnt think about it.
On Thursday because i did not have any news, i asked the best man about details.He told me i needed to be available early in the morning to let his friends come and they would all take my husband out during the day. He said they needed me to stay at home and be available at home cause they needed equipment from my house, and help bringing it to the party on the evening. His bestman also told me to think about a menu cause they were going to be 40 people invited to the party and i could join them while at it. So at this point i understand i am not invited during the day and i am supposed to help on the evening and therefore can stay.I am a little bit confused but fine.
On friday, i talked to my 2 girls best friends and they told me they were excited to be at my husband’s bachelor and they are doing paintball during the day. I was very confused because they are girls, bride side, not from the bridal party. So they were invited and not me …. I talked to my husband about it and said if your friends want to have fun without me, fine, but dont expect me to help them.
So on the bachelor day, nobody talked to me. I spent the time alone crying and my friends were either at the bachelor or had plans. And because it was about the groom, people didnt bother about the bride. ( i did not have a bachelorette cause i wanted to do something at the spa after the wedding with some girls, so people knew i was alone). Some girls that were not at the bachelor party even did something on the side and did not invite me so i was excluded from the main party and the back up party.
On the evening people start noticing i am not at the party and called me because they thought i was invited. I told them i did not get a proper invitation since it was for helping. And i did not feel welcomed since i had been left out the whole day.
The part where it gets tricky …. I discovered that during the paintball activity, a lot of people were invited. I am talking boys, girls, groomsmen but also not groomsmen, wife of musician, husband of my MOH, girlsfriends from bride side, absolutely everybody had been invited. Except me.
When i confronted the bestman he said « did not meant to hurt you, but excluded you because you are the bride and it is the rule : bride should not be at a bachelor » So i said « but is it a bachelor at this point ? Because you invited my girlsfriends and people that are not from the bridal party and i thought bachelor was about groomsmen ? »And he said « oh i dont know about these rules, but just know bride can not be there »
This is when i understood that they were all ok for changing rules to include everybody and keep the one rule that was excluding one person : me, the bride. Even if my husband wanted me to be there. At this point they just threw a pre wedding party without the bride. So they did not meant to hurt me, but they excluded me from the party. ( How is that not supposed to hurt ?)
So how would you feel about your husband bestman excluding you from this « bachelor » party ? Am i in the wrong for beeing angry cause i was left out ? Would you remove him from beeing groosmen and/ or the wedding ?
Note : this is not the first time my husband’s friend have been excluding me, this is why it is sensitive.Some of his friends never talked to me at parties and one time one of them told me, when confronted « i dont have to say hello to you cause we are not that close, but you do have to invite me to your wedding cause i am his friend » Also my husband is very supportive, he knows his friends dont respect me, and just want me to be happy, even if he doesnt have his bestman for the wedding, but i dont want to « punish » him by not having his bestfriend.
Any thoughts ?