i just really need to vent!

My mom bought her dress a month before our wedding with no issues. Unless your mom is someone who regularly needs her clothes altered, this isn’t something I would worry about.

View Quoted Comment We don’t have many places to buy dresses here, and she isn’t normal sizing. So she would need it altered even if it was a summer dress.

I think seven months is too early to start worrying about your mom ‘s dress. Even if she needs her dress altered, she could easily order a beautiful dress from an online store 2 months before the wedding and still have plenty of time to get it altered.

My mom just got her dress last week, eight weeks before the wedding. I should think you'd have time? Where are you located?


My guess would be there are body image issues at play.

I think 7 months is rather early to worry about your mom's dress. She has plenty of time to get the dress and alterations if she needs them.
I'd follow up in 3 or 4 months when it is more pressing to her.

I know as brides we stress about everything falling into place, but seven months out is WAY too soon to be this stressed about it. I'm honestly not surprised that your mom isn't too worried about it right now - she has plenty of time. Maybe she wants to lose some weight before the wedding or something? If you get to a couple months out with no progress, then maybe I'd start worrying a bit. At that point, you could suggest a shopping trip together, or share some websites you like to show her some options. But at this point, she knows your wedding date, she knows she needs a dress, and I am assuming she is a capable adult, so I'd leave it at that for now and focus on the things on your checklist that need more immediate attention.

The reason I’m worried about it now, is because she refuses to order online and the choices around here are slim even for smaller people. I live in a small town in pa and she doesn’t want to travel to look at dresses either. I’m afraid she is going to wait to long to even start looking and than she will be out of options. I do realize there is still 7 months until the wedding but she isn’t wanting to budge on shopping online or traveling to look at things. Also I’m stressed because me and her don’t have a very great relationship and in my mind I think she is doing this to just cause me stress and then she will end up wearing white or something ugly just to ruin my day. Idk

View Quoted Comment I think this is something you really need to let go of. If you truly believe that your mother might be doing this to ruin your day, let it go and don’t let it ruin your day. You’re in charge of your feelings and at the end of the day, if you aren’t close to her and she’d be willing to ruin your wedding, you need to stop giving her your energy.

I wouldn't stress over this. I told my loved ones if you show up to my event dressed silly then expect to get cropped from professional photos lol.

I would buy her something in her size/style that’s inexpensive and not tell her. If she finds something before the wedding you can always return it. If she says she doesn’t have something the day of or the day before the wedding you’ll have it to give to her.

I’d offer to go shopping with her and pay for her dress.

Thanks for the advice!

Honestly, you shouldn't even be involved in your mom buying a dress. She will show up to your wedding wearing whatever she feels comfortable in. Do not stress about this especially when she has 7 MONTHS to figure it out.

My boyfriend's sister is getting married in July. She just bought her wedding dress. They said it's supposed to come in about May/June. So as long as you don't need many alterations and can afford to pay to expedite it like her, I say it should be fine.

I am what you would call a classic overthinker. And sometimes people don't realize how important the details are for me. I sometimes have to sit them down and just make them aware that while it may seem silly for me to be feeling the way I am about whatever the topic is I want to impress upon them how important it is to me. And that even if they don't understand hopefully they will love me enough to make it important to them as well. Maybe take a day and go shopping with her. And while you are out tell her. And tell her it's important to you. Also I am sure you want her to FEEL beautiful as well so that angle could help her get in the mood. And don't forget no matter how hard we try we brides can get really obnoxious going on and on and on about our weddings lol. We don't mean to it just happens!

View Quoted Comment I really am an over thinker too! Little details are important to me especially when it comes to our wedding. We have been engaged for over 8 years and I just want everything to be right now that we can afford our wedding we want! Others think I’m being ridiculous about we are so far out but to me that isn’t that far! And I feel like things need taken care of in a Certain way! She is also very difficult to deal with even wedding stuff. That why I feel I need to push her now instead of waiting.

Is she worried that shopping will be miserable for her, and she won’t look good in any dress?
There are places that will do custom measurements, like eshakti dot com.

View Quoted Comment I totally understand! My Mom is a wreck so I am back and forth on whether she will even be invited to stay the night at our destination after our little wedding since her issues with alcohol are something I do not want to deal with for this event. FH and I have been together for 12 years and I am actually still waiting on my ring to arrive this week. And he wants to do a proposal. I knew he was looking at rings and he took me shopping. Then he told me to build my dream ring online "for ideas" and then bought it behind my back (of course I dream fairly in budget so that helps). He kept it quiet for 2 days lol. We are both so excited and even though we are doing a very small event I still want it to be perfect and fun. We are planning tons in advance also. I think people should be understanding and I hope your Mom comes around a bit more. My Mom isn't very happy for me right now because I haven't included her more. She is actually behaving as if she is jealous and she needs things to be about her and I have zero tolerance for that right now. She actually called other relatives to yell at them for hearing the news about the ring purchase first even though we aren't even officially engaged yet. Smh. She told my Aunt I am very close with "to be my mother then if she is so special." And she wonders why I didn't tell her first. Good luck hon! Wish you all the best!

View Quoted Comment I totally understand! My mother has issues of her own. Growing up she wasn’t really around for me, or gave my brother more attention. We just recently in the last few year have been getting “along” but I still feel she is just doing this because she knows it’s important to me. I know get some people are self conscious when it comes to dress but I just don’t think this is the cause. Others are quick to say I shouldn’t be worrying about it or I should buy her dress, but I feel guest including my mother should have to pay for their own clothes. Especially since they aren’t helping with the over all wedding. But congratulations!!!!!!! I hope things work out for you! Trust me I know impossible mothers and mother in laws.

View Quoted Comment I feel like we were a bit meant to have contact lol. So for just this time I can totally be your venting buddy if you want lol. We seem to have very similar stories and kind of just need to feel ok about...well...whatever right now. And sharing with someone who is going through it could help vs the usual group who I personally feel like are mostly already tired if hearing about my engagement and wedding in a very short time. Just curious but are you getting a lot of jealous vibes from unexpected people? I kind of am. At least I feel like that. It's the first time I have said that "out loud" and I already feel better. You sound like a great lady and I am a good listener and I think you are too! So seriously I am game to hear ALL of the things that are weighing on you and help you unload. Sometimes just getting things off your chest is the best medicine. I know the comments here aren't private so if you want I will give you my Facebook messenger. Just offering! I won't be offended at all if it's a pass. I just get this feeling we could both use it and it could be fun lol. 😉