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Super September 2021

i just really need to vent!

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Stephanie, on February 22, 2021 at 11:01 AM

We were to be married last September but due to covid we decided to postpone in early June! By then my mother still didn’t have a dress, which was fine because we postponed. Well, now we are 7 months out and she still hasn’t even started looking. Every-time I bring it up, she pushes me off. The same she does with anything I say about the wedding. We are paying for our whole wedding with no help from our families. The only thing I ask of our parents is to at least dress nicely and it seems like she doesn’t care. She doesn’t even need a super fancy dress is the thing. Where we live there are only so many places to look for dresses even casual dresses. I’m afraid she is going to wait to the very last minute and then not be able to even find something nice to wear. I know this is like the last thing I should be worrying about but she is just stressing me out about. We are paying all this money to make our day nice and I just want our parents to at least look nice on our photos. Idk maybe I’m asking for to much? Any advice?

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24 Comments

Dedicated April 2021
Janae · on February 23, 2021 at 1:14 AM
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My mom just bought her dress a couple of weeks ago and we are now two months away from the wedding. My mom had self confidence issues. She never thinks she looks nice in anything. So she felt really uncomfortable shopping in the beginning. You still have plenty of time. I'm sure everything will work out. Just focus on other things you can control.
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Dedicated September 2023
Meghan · on February 23, 2021 at 12:19 PM
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I think it's too early to be pressuring her to get a dress. Please leave your mom alone until a couple of months before the wedding. There's no need for someone disinterested in dressing up to travel to visit salons. Shopping online will likely work just fine! I wouldn't be surprised if she was struggling with body image issues. Maybe she wants to wait because she anticipates or wants to lose weight or get toned. I know you say you're an overthinker too, but please be kind to yourself and others and try to let go of things that you objectively cannot control. It's just going to make you and everyone else miserable!
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Master May 2020
Kari · on February 23, 2021 at 7:53 PM
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Seven months is PLENTY of time to find a dress - she could likely find something acceptable in less than a month if needed. I would NOT stress about this yet.

My mom got her dress about 4 months before our wedding was supposed to be and ended up losing weight in that time. The dress still looked fine but she probably could have gone down a size. That was probably 8 months ago now and her weight has fluctuated a bit in that time - she probably went down at least 2-3 sizes from the size she was when she bought the dress and has recently started to gain weight again.

Unless you have a very specific vision of what your mom is wearing, I would NOT worry about your mom getting a dress until 2-3 months out. When my mom and I went dress shopping we spent a day going around to a bunch of stores and ended up buying a dress off the rack at the first store we went to.
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Just Said Yes September 2021
Breonna · on April 7, 2021 at 10:43 AM
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Stop stressing! As brides, we have ENOUGH to worry about! Make sure you have everything else together; worry about her last. Push come to shove, maybe y’all can go look together! Make her get in the car and y’all can go together! Maybe make a day out of it? Coffee, dress, and brunch? You got this! Just breathe!! ♥️♥️
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