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Expert August 2016

I Lost a Friend Because of my Wedding

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Brewedwithlove2016, on January 26, 2017 at 2:44 PM

My wedding was in August and this incident were awhile ago but I can't get over this situation. I loved my wedding, everything was great but afterwards I noticed a friend of mine getting distant. She wouldn't really respond to my messages or calls and she didn't really want to hang out with me. I...

My wedding was in August and this incident were awhile ago but I can't get over this situation.

I loved my wedding, everything was great but afterwards I noticed a friend of mine getting distant. She wouldn't really respond to my messages or calls and she didn't really want to hang out with me. I asked her if everything was okay and she told me she was upset she wasn't a bridesmaid, she was upset she didn't get to come to part of my bachelorette party (it was a surprise and just me and the bridesmaids), and that I didn't come to her table during the wedding (Which I didn't realize and felt really bad for) I apologized that I had made her upset, we hung out and everything seemed fine.

A little while later nothing had changed. I was having a party and she said she was coming but then decided not to because she got invited to another party. I was frustrated so I basically asked her what was up? She was still distant and then this.

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45 Comments

Master September 2015
NowASeptMrs · on January 26, 2017 at 5:54 PM
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This is why you have a receiving line!! Even though it's fast you at least talk to everyone. People obviously do get offended if you miss them.
It was your choice who you wanted to be BMs. I can see how she'd feel left out but it's not her choice, it's yours.
She's made it clear she doesn't want to be friends. Let it go and move on :-/ don't keep dragging out drama.
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Expert June 2017
Isheefishee · on January 26, 2017 at 8:19 PM
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Could you have maybe been softer when talking with her on the phone? She has no right to be upset at not being a BM.

It's hard when you drift apart from your friends and it sounds like that is what has been happening with you two.

I get where she is coming from and I think her first texts were appropriate. I wasn't a BM for my best friend because she picked childhood friends, but I was there helping out because i offered. Her BMs were AWFUL to me. Every time I tried to talk to her, the MOH got in the way and said something a long the lines of "I am MOH so that means I get to dance with you!" And would pull her away. I didn't say anything to Bride until a month or so later, and then only said that her BMs were so rude to me (such a long story, but one told me I shouldn't even be there). She now wishes I had been a BM but I never told her that I was hurt I wasn't asked to be one. I just say that she picked who she thought was best at the time and that doesn't affect our rockin friendship now!
ETA I don't think it was right for her to blow up on you on the phone
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Master December 2016
Christinanyc · on January 27, 2017 at 7:03 AM
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@Brewedwithlove2016 My apologies, I didn't know. I honestly thought you and you husband planned it. With that said, if she also missed your birthday due to similar situations then I agree with you, she's being a bit difficult. I also apologize for not reading your other posts. Much love to you and your friend!
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Jay Farrell · on January 27, 2017 at 8:00 AM
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Your wedding party isn't her call to make....she's out of line. As others have said, too much goes on at showtime, she could have also came to you on the dance floor or something. She's being ridiculous, and it sounds like you made an effort to fix things, she took her ball and went home. Your life will be better for it, from my experience. I call that shaking off the fleas.
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Expert August 2016
Brewedwithlove2016 · on January 27, 2017 at 12:20 PM
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Thank you for all the advice and comments. It has really helped. I know I should have come to her table but I apologized many times for that and I think her blowing up at me after we had already talked about was unfair. I don't think our friendship can be repaired, but maybe that is for the best. Thank you everyone!
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