I think my fiance can't afford the honeymoon and doesn't want to tell me. What should I do?

Have you discussed finances? It seems like your concern may be that he does not have enough money for the honeymoon you want, and he may not feel like he can provide the honeymoon that he feels you deserve. There is also the possibility that he may just want to plan it all on his own and surprise you. There is also the chance that maybe he feels that what he can provide for you is not going to meet expectations.

When you get married, your fiances will become joined, not separate so you shouldn't view your investment in your marriage as you spending money and him only spending a little. My fiance makes significantly less money than I do, but I view us as both paying for our wedding because we are both investing in our future. His contribution may not be the same as mine, but he is contributing the same percentage of his income as I am, and he spent a good bit on my ring. We are planning our honeymoon together with a joint effort with his mother, scoping out the best deals and comparing and contrasting what we want.

Maybe you should approach him with a couple of ideas in varying budget amounts? Show him some hotels/resorts/cabins/getaways that you think the two of you would enjoy and just let him know that you know the time to book is coming up if you want to get the best deal, so you came up with some options and wanted his input or to know any of his ideas. Then you can get a feel for what he is looking to spend and you can craft the best honeymoon together.

Did I miss a response from Jen on this?

We stayed at a plain old nothing special hotel the night of the wedding.

The weekend after we escaped to a B&B.

Our official honeymoon isn't until June. I thought I'd regret delaying it, but I'm glad we did. Lots to plan and look forward to. Sort of extends the wedding season.

But yes, you need to talk about this, and get to bottom of it.

Are you sure that it is not just intended to be a surprise?? That was my first thought when I read your post...and it even sounds like mom might know a little about it, maybe??

I agree that you need to discuss your financial situation. When we got engaged, FH and I talked about ours as at that point both of us started viewing it as "our" money, even though we have separate accounts and currently live apart. We know where each other stands and talk about money as part of planning our lives together. When you are buying a house together and having your lives together, it isn't his money and mine but rather our money.

I also agree with you that you really do need a hotel room for the first few nights as having your wedding night (and even the few nights afterwards) at a parents' house, isn't really ideal. He could be planning a surprise, but then again he might not be. I'd be honest with him and say that look, if you don't have the cash right now, you need to tell me. If you do and rather keep your plans secret, then you just need to let me know that. Have that conversation, and if need be, book a cheap(er) hotel room for a night or two, so that you at least have something. Most hotels have a cancellation policy that you won't be charged if you cancel 24 or 48 hours in advance. That way if you get better plans, then you can cancel.

Time to talk about money. Unfortunately, it will come up more than you want it to, and you need to start getting your finances in order like, yesterday.

Good luck. Once you figure out what you guys can afford and what your wedding budget is I am sure he will be more comfortable talking about money. But the fact of the matter is you have not had any sort of open dialogue regarding finances yet so it is an awkward spot right now.

I'm hearing alarm bells about you not knowing his finances and him not wanting to communicate. Those are kind of important. At least have a general talk about finances. You can spend the wedding night at a hotel for $100 and have a vacation honeymoon for your anniversary.

I know I have never been to a wedding where the couple actually left the day after. In fact, we did a number of brunches/lunches/BBQ's on the Sunday after the wedding WITH the newlyweds. Some planned HM's a week or so later, but others waited until the following year so they could save up and do something really cool. I know my FH and I will probably not do a HM but if we do it will be hiking - which is very inexpensive and you can get great cabin deals off season.

However, if you and your FH just bought a house, you should already be aware of your finances. If you really do not know his situation, you need to discuss that before you discuss anything more about a honeymoon. The LAST thing you want is to realize after the wedding that there is a pile of debt in both your names.

On the app I can't see your wedding date. I'm getting married in Oct however fiancé and I have already joined finances (for the most part) we have a joint account where bills, rent, groceries etc come from. I agree with Nel about spreadsheet. If you're planning to koine finances completely you may need to start the conversation now. You may be surprised and he may actually e saving for a honeymoon or you may have to contribute. Either way you should know his financial situation.

Our first night will be at our hotel room that the hotel has given us. Then the next day we are having breakfast with our families. We aren't going on our actual honeymoon until two weeks later.