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Casey
Dedicated October 2018

i want to cancel my wedding...

Casey, on June 25, 2018 at 9:55 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 18
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I need to vent right now-
FH and I bought a house last June that is literally down to the studs. I currently still live at home for this reason and he lives on the finished porch. We are so incredibly blessed that my parents are paying for the venue, but it has ultimately exceeded all of our expectations and is way more expensive which I feel so bad for.
we both work 2 jobs and are STILL struggling so bad between the wedding and house. I was talking to him today and he’s in such a bad mood because of it all and we both feel like having a nervous break down. It’s just one thing after another. Literally. We don’t have money to even go out to eat anymore.
I wish we waited to get married because of the house, but my brother is getting married next spring and the weddings couldn’t be that close together due to family reasons.
I just don’t know what to do now. I feel SO beyond stressed. I’m trying to stay calm for him but it’s really super hard. I feel like all my money is being flushed down the drain and part of me wishes I just did justice of the peace and had a nice, peaceful family gathering to celebrate. 😔

18 Comments

Latest activity by Amelia, on June 26, 2018 at 2:48 PM
  • Cheryl&rock
    VIP June 2019
    Cheryl&rock ·
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    Is it too late to cancel the venue etc? You can have a small immediate ceremony and postpone all the rest until you're financially stable!
    Putting yourself into debt for your wedding isn't a good thing. It causes a lot of problems and arguments!
    Do what you have to to save your relationship! ❤️
    • Reply
  • MrsPreach2018
    Master August 2018
    MrsPreach2018 ·
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    Oh no, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Both of those things are stressful enough on theit own, you're doing them together. I think it's a good idea if you both focus on one at a time. Or, have a small, intimate affair with family.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    What does FH want to do? If it is causing this much stress, cancel. If you want to do a small ceremony and then a nice dinner with your friends and family, go for it! Your wedding should be a happy time in your life,and while planning is almost always stressful, it seems to be taking more of a toll on you than it should. Is the entire venue paid for? If your parents have just put down a deposit, I would explain to them the situation and offer to pay them back for the deposit, even if it is in smaller increments

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  • Kristina
    Beginner September 2019
    Kristina ·
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    Stay strong! You will get through this! I will keep you and your fiance in my prayers.
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  • FutureMrs.Charles
    Savvy April 2019
    FutureMrs.Charles ·
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    Take a break from wedding planning for a bit so you can breath and not be so stressed. If you guys have a day off or night off together then go to your home that you purchase and go to part of the house you fell in love with and have a simple picnic nothing fancy. Just enjoy one another have a conversation not regard house Reno or wedding think of the good times, enjoy your engagement, each other. Wedding planning is stressful no matter how much help you have. A week break from planning does wonders!
    • Reply
  • Alforev
    VIP August 2018
    Alforev ·
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    I think you should try to push through it. Going out to eat isn’t going to mean as much to you when you look back and realize how much the two of you were able to accomplish in such a short time. Trust me, I totally get it because we also bought a house in February. I have three jobs right now and FH works 70 hours a week as it is to afford the wedding and the Home. We know that once we get through the wedding we will be able to ease up a bit and focus on our home and our future. Stay positive and just get through it. Time will fly and your wedding will be over before you know it!
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  • Casey
    Dedicated October 2018
    Casey ·
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    Honestly I’m not sure! We definitely aren’t arguing with each other, we’re just both very stressed!!
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  • Casey
    Dedicated October 2018
    Casey ·
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    Most of it is paid for already. It’s my dream venue and everything about it is so lovely, and sometimes I don’t feel this way. Maybe the pressure of it getting closer is what’s getting to me?
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  • Casey
    Dedicated October 2018
    Casey ·
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    That’s what I keep telling myself. He is a banker so he has made sure that everything is already paid for... like our honeymoon was all paid in a month! I just think about all the debt we WONT be in (atleast for the wedding) in just a few short months. Right now it’s just super stressful. Maybe it’s because it’s getting closer to? I’m not sure
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    This kind of stress would get to anyone! You’re in a difficult place, but at least you have each other to get through it with! I know you feel bad about spending the money on the wedding but try to look at it as the light at the end of the tunnel. You will have a beautiful day with you family and friends, and you will be married to your best friend. Try to allow yourself to let it bring you joy instead of stress!
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  • DEB2019
    Savvy November 2019
    DEB2019 ·
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    Sending hugs your way.
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  • Kerinn
    Dedicated January 2020
    Kerinn ·
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    Can you move your venue date? We opted for almost a two year engagement so we didn’t have to stress about money because we are paying for it all ourselves
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  • K
    Beginner June 2019
    Kieonna ·
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    Wedding planning is very stressful! I guess I'm in the beginning stages with a little less than a year to go! We plan on getting married next summer and relocationing 1,300 miles away in the summer with 3 kids! Ugh! I agree though, take a break from planning! Relax your mind a little and decide what's going to make you hapoy!
    • Reply
  • Kelli
    Expert August 2018
    Kelli ·
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    We had a ton of expensive stuff come up all right at the time our final deposits were due. It was so stressful and we almost called off the wedding. Cutting out things you dont need for a little while might suck but in the end it will be worth it. Maybe take a week without talking about the wedding and just spend some quality time together.
    • Reply
  • Chariece & Sterling
    VIP January 2026
    Chariece & Sterling ·
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    From my reading is not so much the wedding as everything else. First things first you and your FH should know not all storms,last always the sun will shine again. !! If you have the human necessities in your house. Then you guys can work on it becoming a home. You guys are going thur what most couples feel at some point. Sending positive vibes and hugs your way 💖
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    I feel you. I'm moving out of state the wk after my wedding, he is opening a restaurant, I'm starting a new job, we bought and sold a house, and a billion other things. Stressed doesnt even explain it. Our washing machine broke the other day. My venue was bought by another company and I had to redo everything. My cousins didn't RSVP and when I finally got a hold of them both said they are coming with their husband's and 3 children, 2.5 weeks before the Wedding! And not just a wkend but a whole wkend of events because everyone is from out of town. The limo company went out of business. I have to keep telling myself I'm healthy and my family is healthy and things will be ok!

    Also for money, consider opening a 0%credit card IF you can pay it back in the time before the interest kicks in (usually 6 months) .American express has a good one. You can also transfer balances for free.
    • Reply
  • L
    Expert May 2018
    LIZ ·
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    You and FH really need to sit down and decide together what is best for you both. Perhaps speak with the parents that are paying for the venue to see about postponing or as you say, courthouse and dinner. Wedding planning should not be this stressful nor should you have to argue because of it. I'm sorry it's gotten to this point but please, chat now before it goes on any longer.
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  • Amelia
    Expert June 2019
    Amelia ·
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    I think everyone goes through this-- make a pro con list and see where things fall.

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