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Just Said Yes October 2023

i want to cry

Alexandria, on April 11, 2023 at 1:58 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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My matron of honor has been my bestfriend for years… recently she had a baby and he is the best in this world I would do anything for them both…
She has been super distant, disrespecting me in any way she can.. for example : telling my family members that she would need to drink alcohol to deal with me on the day of my wedding… (I am a very calm but anxious person but I am no where near that bad)
She has not offered to help me and anytime I invite her offer to help me put things together or make things she bails on me last minute.. I opened up to her and told her how I felt and she used that opportunity to start the very explosive conversation out with “don’t worry we will get to your feelings next” I was crying so hard and yelling because she never lets me talk and she ended up hanging up on me… what do I do? It’s been 3 days she hasn’t spoken to me or reached out. I want her involved but I feel like I’ve let her disrespect me so much that she is used to it and I don’t know how to come back from this…

8 Comments

Latest activity by Peyton, on April 19, 2023 at 12:50 AM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica Online ·
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    Wow! I just had a baby too but that wouldn't give me or anyone the right to ask disrespectful to someone especially someone they claim is their friend. She sounds incredibly nasty. I wouldn't even want to continue being friends with someone who clearly has no problem hurting you.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    The alcohol thing sounds like a joke mixed with a bit of truth and would have had me looking inward, especially since your expectations have been shall we say, excessive and inappropriate. It’s one thing if she were to offer on her own, but for you to call a busy new mother out for being less enthusiastic about multiple DIY tasks is frankly, rude and off putting. It’s not her job or or role to work for your wedding. If you need that kind of help, you need to get your FI or a vendor to do it.


    I don’t know what else she’s said or done to offend you but based only on what you’ve said here, I think you’re the one who owes her an apology.
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  • Juan
    Just Said Yes May 2023
    Juan ·
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    I think clearly this person is not interested in being a part of your wedding party. They just had a baby, so makes sense that is their priority. You are an adult, just handle it.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    She just had a baby. That's going to absolutely be her priority.

    She's under no obligation to help with wedding planning. In this case, I think re-evaluating your own expectations would be a good thing.

    Don't ruin your friendship with your best friend over wedding stuff. It's just not worth it.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    This is where I am ****%

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  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa ·
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    How recent was this baby? However a bridesmaid, and yes even MOH, don't have to help put together any pre wedding things even if they formerly agreed to help.


    If she's always been mean then why stay friends? If she's exhausted and just had a baby give her a couple months to relax and settle her baby gets priority over your wedding.
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  • Roberto
    Just Said Yes July 2023
    Roberto ·
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    Your wedding day is suppose to be the most magical day of your life. You only want to surround yourself with people who respect and understand that. Maybe you suggest she just attend your wedding as a guest instead of a bridesmaid.

    Good luck!

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  • P
    Devoted April 2023
    Peyton ·
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    I have been in friendships where it seems like one person dominates everything - particularly in conversation. Do your conversations always revolve around you and your worries/anxieties? It sounds like your MoH has built up anger and resentment. Any thoughts on why? How recent was the baby born? Have you offered to help with babysitting or running errands or emotional support? Did you throw a baby shower for her? Just trying to think of reasons why your best friend no longer wants to spend time with you. I definitely wouldn’t ask your MoH to help with any wedding tasks. I know your wedding is one of the important days of your life, but realize it does not carry the same significance for your guests or attendants. Hoping it all works out for you.

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