i want to elope now

Yeah, that’s fairly common with something like florals or food. If you have some of her florals up and some of yours, people won’t know what’s what and will blame the florist when yours look amateurish.


Can you talk to your florist about price concerns and where she can substitute fake florals? I’m renting fake florals from mine to decorate our arch for the ceremony.

This is common and IMO a reasonable policy. If you are committed to the florist and don’t want to DIY the whole thing I’d ask to look for ways to work within your budget while prioritizing what’s most important to you. Our florist does not use fakes, so that may or may not be an option, but there are other ways to keep costs down.

Like others have said, this is a normal policy as they don't want diy stuff confused with her work.

I agree with the others - talk to your florist. Give her the budget you need to work within, and see where you can compromise in order to execute your vision. They are very knowledgeable about flowers and how to stretch your dollars further (for example, swapping out more expensive flowers for cheaper ones that are in season, or different flowers that are similar in size/color, etc.). They should be able to come up with some options for you.

I believe one way around that (and to keep your cost low), is to use non-floral centerpieces. Lanterns, candle, etc. Or perhaps they can provide greenery to mix with your other items.
For the wedding party, you could do a single flower. Or again, choose a non-floral item so your bouquet can be as big and beautiful as you want while you save money cheaper or skipping the bridesmaids’ bouquets.

That’s a very common policy. Because the work shown at an event has their name and reputation attached, no matter if it is the florist, caterer, baker, etc. Also, contrary to what the current trend online is, silk/faux flowers are rarely cheaper than fresh. The only people supporting the idea that they are cheaper are the silk flower companies influencing brides on social media. When you price out fresh vs silk, there are countless options to get fresh at a much lower cost even without DIY, which also is not a cost cutter. If you have already signed a contract with the florist, then you need to revisit what you are getting to spend a lower amount if cost is a concern. But you also have to be aware that many have expensive minimums that they do not negotiate, so that has to be made clear before any contract is signed.

I feel you. FH and I both highly value autonomy and independence and uniqueness and I’m starting to think the wedding industry is just more geared towards people who thrive under established rules and framework.

View Quoted Comment My florist doesn’t use any fake/ silk or anything but real flowers:/
I’m going to deal with it. If specific flowers aren't present, it doesn't align with my vision and lacks aspects that I appreciate.
Just hard I never knew these certain rules even existed, but completely understand you’re running a business. I am willing to compromise, but I need to decide whether to take a chance and replace certain flowers with cheaper options, which could potentially result in them not reflecting my desired vision, or play it safe by completely changing the color scheme to black and white, ensuring that everything will work seamlessly on the day of the event.

View Quoted Comment Omg now this is the TRUTH! If I have to hear about some useless "etiquette" rule one more time, I'm going to pass out 😂

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Wedding etiquette is primarily about consideration for others. The wedding industry has very little to do with etiquette in my experience.

View Quoted Comment Omggggg yes. 😂 shouldn't it be about the customer, doing whatever it takes to make their wedding what they planned instead it’s all about the vendors.

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Do you have specific flowers in mind in your vision? A centerpiece with multiple elements can be dramatic and still low cost if you highlight one flower such as a protea and surround it by eucalytpus/greenery in a bouquet. However, if you have single bud vases then, there will be more pressure to have each flower be a star. Usually florists can provide the couple options offering requested colors, texture, and lushness while staying within your budget. I'm not sure what "cheap" flowers look like, but I would perhaps request a centerpiece mock-up to assuage your concerns (you pay for this). Good luck.

Not gonna lie, the more time we spend planning the more we want to do a destination wedding.

View Quoted Comment The more I keep planning the more I want to cancel the wedding and spend the money on a house.