i want to help my fiancée

Have you both already worked out a budget? Main thing would be a venue. Planning our tour vision, preparing a guest list. These are some things to help with. Once you have established this you can start working on other small things like invitations, save the dates if you haven’t sent those out yet. Do you already know the colors you all plan to wear?

View Quoted Comment Not yet. So we are getting a feel of who would be interested in coming. Then we will pick the venue. Then we will invite people. I figured it would be that easy. But it is certainly not.

View Quoted Comment If only right? I think once you all decide on a guest count it will be a little easier when choosing a venue. Only reason being, is some places might not be able to accommodate the size amount just depending on how many you all have. Which helps narrow it down.

Honestly for me guest count and venue were the hardest so I can see why she’s probably stressed right now. The best thing you can do is come up with the guest like for your side. My fiancé was terrible at this and I had to work with his mom on it, which was mostly fine but she wanted to invite more people than I really wanted so it would’ve been easier for my fiancé to just take care of his side himself.

As others have said, the most important thing is to establish a budget (the "average" wedding is $35,000 for 100-120 people) then find a venue. There is no wedding date until you have a venue. After that, most other vendors do not need to be booked right away. You can also google "wedding time lines" to see when other vendors should be contacted.

In my experience, venue was the hardest to find even a year and a half out. The venue was the very first thing I secured. The venue decided my date, I didn't pick a date and then look for a venue. If you have a very special date to you then of course use that. I think if you have a rough estimate like a small wedding under 80 or a guest count of 100-150 or a guest count above 150. If you know that I would say start looking at venues. There are several venues that can hold up to 200 and can still work for a small or large guest count. You can also help your fiancé in other small ways. Maybe taking it upon yourself to start looking at other vendors you don't already have. I think helping your fiancé with a checklist would also be good. You can find them anywhere; here on wedding wire, on the knot, or just a check google search of wedding checklists and you can find a lot. Let me know if you need help. I got engaged end of May we are getting married next October and I have all of the major vendors booked. I love planning and would be happy to give advice.

The other posters have given you great advice, definitely try to figure out a budget and nail down a venue. As you get further into planning you can split tasks if music is important to you take the lead or maybe you can book the transportation. Wedding planning can get stressful so make sure to communicate with each other don't forget why you are doing it, make sure to have lots of sweet moments together. Impromptu date nights are a fun break from it all. Best of luck to you

My fiancé planned our wedding WITH me. He didn’t “help me” but we did it together, which I am truly grateful for.


Among numerous items he did, I was having trouble communicating with one vendor. She was rude to me and I was having trouble standing up for myself so he said he would be the sole contact with this woman. It turns out we didn’t keep her for long and moved on to another vendor but him talking to her was a lifesaver.

View Quoted Comment I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at with the help bit but that’s a you thing. My fiancée and I have split the tasks to her planning and me paying. I am going out of my way to work over time hours and such to find the money to cover the costs. I am helping her with the planning part. So… thanks.

View Quoted Comment I like this one! My fiancée can be pretty determined when she sets her eyes on a task. I will try to make sure that all the effort that she’s putting in is beyond appreciate it and try to make sure she can get some more down time. I’d make the calls myself if I could speak the language of the country we are getting married in.

View Quoted Comment This is a great idea! I will recommend it to my partner straight away. Thank you for your thoughtful and well explained reply.

View Quoted Comment Venue first, food and music later. Got it!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I took your advice yesterday. I ended up with a list of 11 people that I want to come and most of them are the kids of my siblings. I think she was expecting more so she asked my mom to be sure.

Use the budgeting and timeline tools from WW -- they are very useful.

But to start things off, just write down who you'd want to attend, and use that as your working number. You can't do anything until you firm up a number.

I’ve seen this piece of advice shared on blogs, and it was helpful to my FW and I: sit down with your fiancée and make a list of the three biggest priorities for your wedding. The three most important things. Each of you makes their own list first, then you compare, and produce your joint list. It pulls some things into focus.


My FW and I also made lists of our smaller priorities, and that helped us divide duties. For example, I couldn’t care less about the cake, I don’t even care if there is cake— but my FW had strong opinions about it, so she’s in charge of cake! I’m the artistic one so all the design and decor is up to me. We both run all decisions by the other, and this works for us.
Ftr, I think it’s really sweet that you made a post like this, because I see a lot of brides in groups like these complaining that their groom refuses to help with wedding planning.

Hi that is a awesome of you to want to help out with the wedding.Most men aren't that much involved with the whole planning a wedding. But that fact that you want to take some stress off of her I applaud you. Now you just tell her that these are the things that you an help with the DJ booked handle you and your groomsmen duties to be early.if any guest are coming out of town. Usally it's called a block rooms at a hotel,so that guest coming from out of town they have a choice to use the hotel that you blocked they can get a rm there or arrange their own accommodation. Just to know that it's done is a load off and just little things that may not bog a big deal too you it all matters for. Just be supportive even if she maybe be upset and stressed out give a hug. It will be over she will be able to breathe again

Have you asked her? See what she may have done already and what else needs to be done that you can take on? Maybe have a list and see what things you can do, she can do and things y’all can do together! Planning a wedding is so hard and it’s so nice that you notice she is stress and want to help out!

View Quoted Comment I love this idea! I Wil bring it up with my fiancée tonight! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment You’re right. I will follow this idea.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your kind supportive words. I was thinking about booking a villa and letting the people who fly from out of state and country stay there.