i want to keep it a secret

How will they know where they’re going if it’s a secret?

Sorry I forgot to clarify. I want to keep it a secret until the save the dates are sent

View Quoted Comment

Okay, but why?

Hiding the venue I get completely but not the date

I personally think if you hide the date/venue you'll get more questions about it. I would at least share the date and say you and FH are still making final decisions on the venue

If you want to be secretive, that's your business. Just realize that you'll only be drawing attention to your odd choice.

With that said, if the people asking aren't going to be invited, then just give a vague answer like next spring, Christmas time, in town, or the Caribbean (or what ever). Reenforce your vagueness but not talking about your event with people who won't be invited. Just like in grade school, it's in poor taste to talk about a party to someone who won't be invited.

I’m a private person who doesn’t like being in the spotlight. Also, I don’t want to hear opinions because I’m getting enough of those already.

View Quoted Comment

Buckle up! You're going to get a lot of opinions lol. It is good to monitor what you tell people to avoid reactions you don't want, but people will still ask, no matter what. Just know that it is no one's business what you choose. They will be invited to your event. It is their choice to decide if the date and place works for them. That is all.

We kept it secret from guests until Save the Dates were sent. Well we told my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle before then. We sent Save the Dates 11 months before the wedding because it was on a Friday in the summer and our families tend to make summer plans early. We kept it COMPLETELY secret from anyone not invited - basically after save the dates went out if anyone not invited asked about the wedding we'd be very vague like "its in the summer" "its in July"

I get funny when people ask on Facebook, in particular people who I’m pretty sure think they’re going to be invited but aren’t. 😳

View Quoted Comment

I'm the same. But keeping the date secret is only going to make people question you more. Keeping the venue secret is odd but not unheard of, but the date, not so much.

And oh man, if you think you're getting questions and comments now, just wait! You'll only get more feedback, criticisms, questions and input as time goes on.

If you wanted to avoid all feedback and/or comments, stay 100% private, maybe an elopement would have been an idea But no, seriously, I wish you the best of luck, and hopefully you can find a tactful way to tell people the necessary information while maintaining your desire for privacy.

Honestly, i totally understand why. I don't want them bugging me and asking me why that date and suggesting stuff to "Help". I don't want to let anyone know until like 6 months before or something when i send the save the dates. So that i can say that everything is already set and that we have everything ready and done.

Hi, I understand keeping the venue a secret but I would still inform them on the date... me personally I write everything down in my planner lol so if there is an event coming I want to know once its booked

Keeping the date a secret from people who you’re going to invite doesn’t make any sense to me. In doing so, I’d caution you may invite MORE opinions. To say you haven’t decided yet , people may try to influence your decision, like “oh good well don’t do it THIS date” and so on . Once it’s set in stone you have an easy excuse not consider others - “it is what it is , it can’t be changed. Sorry if it means you can’t attend”

i was eager to tell friends and family so that it was on their radar , and hopefully to make it more likely they’d be able to attend.

People generally want to at least know the date and you can form it in a way that this is the date you want and are still looking OR say this is our date our venue will be a surprise until the STDs. I had to tell my one friend that and generally really not many people know our location cuz I didn't tell people. It's brand new I didn't want people being nosey. I understand the surprise aspect! Soon enough they'll know the location! Should be sending our STDs in the next two weeks.

I don’t think it’s bad at all! But these are family and friends, and if you already have the date/venue set and there’s no chance of it changing, I don’t see the harm in telling people who ask.

We are doing the same thing! Everyone that asks we tell them we are still considering our options. I feel like it's dumb to waste money on save the dates if we are just going to tell everyone

I have practically kept everything regarding my wedding to FH and myself. We have had a very stress free engagement. We have 37 days left until we say I do and now we have family members trying to jump in and control the rest of our engagement and wedding. I think the biggest thing is knowing it's okay to say no and if people get their feelings hurt and can't get over it we don't need them around.

View Quoted Comment Same. Wedding party people had a heads up but everyone else saw it on their Save The Dates and invites.

Hi. I am wanting to keep my venue a secret as a fun surprise for the guests. They will know the location so they know travel times etc but was wondering if anyone had a cute saying/ rhyme could use on the invites please