i wasn't asked to be in my brother's wedding and I'm very hurt and sad

I’m sorry you’re going through this. A lot of siblings assume they’ll be asked to be in a wedding party and sometimes get disappointed when they’re not. Are you close with your brother? Could you talk to him about how you’re feeling? I wouldn’t ask him if you can be in the wedding, but I would probably make it known that you’re hurt by his decision to not include you. If you don’t tell him, you may hold a grudge against him for something he maybe didn’t mean to do. I’ve known people who got married and their future spouse dictated who could be in the wedding party, so not including people wasn’t 100% the grooms fault.

We are close. But, honestly I'm too pissed off to want to talk to him. I haven't spoken or sent texts to him since Labor Day. I was furious when I saw their wedding website and the section about the wedding party. I feel that both he and his fiancee are at fault, but my anger is more with him.

I’m so sorry. I was excluded from my twin brother’s wedding. We haven’t been close since and aren’t even really on speaking terms.

i personally wouldn’t marry someone who dictated who my wedding party was going to be and then exclude my sibling, but you do you.

Oh no I'm sorry I was thinking the same thing as PPs that it is possible that he left planning up to his fiance and she just chose the bridal party and people in the ceremony as she saw fit. He may not have even realized there was a problem (you know how sometimes guys don't understand significance of things especially in weddings).

Definitely don't ask to be in the wedding but you guys might benefit from just having a conversation about how it made you feel.

I'm sorry it upset you but, it is his wedding. Definitely don't ask to be in the wedding but, maybe eventually talk to him about how you feel.

He had a had in picking his groomsmen based on what the best man and groomsmen wrote on their "bios" on the wedding website. He invited them all to a Cubs game in late August where he asked all of them to be in the wedding.

I know you’re upset and it’s a sucky situation, but at the end of the day it’s his wedding. My FH excluded 3 of his 5 brothers in his wedding party and I’m sure they are hurt, but he said it wouldn’t feel right and wanted people he was closer to in his party. I wouldnt bring it up until you feel a little bit more calm about the situation. Good luck!

I know that it's his wedding. However, it hurts like hell because I looked up to him and was planning to ask him to best man when I got married. What also pisses me off is that the guy he asked to be his best man probably can't afford to throw my brother a decent bachelor party. I would have been able to do that.

I'll also add that I'm the type of person who believes in putting family ahead of friends in events. It pisses me off that a friend is best man instead of me.

Honestly, if he has been otherwise supportive and someone you've looked up to, I can't imagine letting one day get in the way of that. I know it's disappointing, but his overall conduct is a better measure than this one thing.

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For me being left out of his wedding has already screwed up things. I'm dreading being at the wedding and seeing his friend, stepkids, and his fiancee's nephews up there with him. It sucks that I finally had to realize that he probably doesn't give an f about me.

I'm also getting to the point where I don't even want to go the wedding because it will be embarrassing as hell for people to see me the brother left out. I can't stand that a stupid friend is the best man and he gets to make a speech.

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I also see myself not being on speaking terms with my brother later. What he did was pretty awful becauase it just showed he cares more about friends, his stepkids, and his fiancee's stupid nephews more than me.

I wasn't in one of my brothers weddings either. Neither was my little brother. My mother thought our was odd. I asked both sister in law and brother to be in mine. I don't really give a sht lol

Being in a wedding is an honor, but it is an expensive pain. I have to be in one wedding to know, if rather be a guest. Also, the fiancée probably just put people who she is close to and didn’t really think about you. I understand you’re hurt. I also would give a sht at being in a wedding party every day.

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She didn't pick the best man and groomsman. He did. I mentioned he took them to a baseball game where he asked them to be in the wedding. I know that being in a wedding is expensive, but I don't care about that part. Its more that my only brother left me out of his wedding.

I'm so sorry Tyler. I don't blame you for feeling hurt and like things won't be the same for you two again. It sounds like an odd situation. I wonder what your parents think.

Have you talked with him about this? I know you're hurt, but you're making a lot of assumptions that could be cleared up if you just gave him a call!
My fiance's brother isn't in our wedding party. My fiance knows how his brother is about being in front of people, which is why he didn't ask. He didn't want to make his brother uncomfortable.

I think maybe he didn’t think about how it would hurt your feelings. Men can sometimes be clueless to why women care about that. Perhaps he didn’t want to inconvenience you? I mean I’m the MOH in my sister's wedding, and honestly would be easier if I was a guest.

I am sorry you are hurting. Is there a large age difference between you two? I note the bride has children from a prior marriage? Did you two grow up together?