i wasn't asked to be in my brother's wedding and I'm very hurt and sad

View Quoted Comment

Being at the wedding and have no role in the ceremony is hurtful to me because it shows that we are barely good enough to even be at the wedding. We can't give speeches or have special dances, or anything else. Everything is more about the bride and it hurts to know that the groom's side of the family doesn't really matter at the wedding.

View Quoted Comment But that’s your brother’s choice. Just because it’s something you take issue with doesn’t mean he feels the same. Are you really willing to give up having any kind of relationship with him when you haven’t even tried talking to him about it?

View Quoted Comment

I know it's his choice, but it just hurts like hell that he doesn't even want us to have special roles at his wedding. I know it's hard to explain but try putting yourself in my shoes.

You only have one sibling and that sibling doesn't even include in you in an important milestone and you have to watch from the sidelines and you aren't able to express joy or give a speech or be in the wedding party.

Have you talked to your brother about any of this?

View Quoted Comment

No I'm still too hurt and shocked by this. I'm not ready yet.

You assume I’m not in your shoes. I have one sibling- a sister- and I know for a fact I wouldn’t be included if she got married. We were close when we were younger, she was MOH at my first wedding, a BM in my second, and then she began to ghost me. She left me out of several big events that were happening in her life after my second wedding and she hasn’t made any effort to have a relationship with me or my children in the last year, despite my trying to reach out to her.

I can understand being hurt, but holding on to this much anger a month after finding out and not even trying to talk to your brother about it just isn’t healthy.

View Quoted Comment

I'm sorry for what your sister did.

With me, it hurts because my brother and I do hang a lot and I still look up to him and wanted to be a part of his big day.

View Quoted Comment

This exactly. Your responses in general lack maturity as does your apparent willingness to give up a relationship with your brother. The idea that you are barely worthy of even attending the wedding since you aren't the best man is absurd. A therapist could help provide you with some much needed perspective on this - and may also result in a closer relationship with your brother. Best of luck to you.

Tyler, i realize this was five years ago but i am rely curious about how things turned out. Hope you are doing well.