If you had a destination wedding, how many invited people did not attend?

We invited 42 people to our destination wedding. 40 RSVPed yes (only 38 ended up making it though - one couple had to cancel 2 days before the wedding due to an emergency).

Is this a true destination wedding or is the venue you are considering local to you or either one of the families? Many people I know who have the means will gladly travel that distance and more for a wedding but send regrets to true DWs unless it’s immediate family.

We invited 100 people to our destination wedding in Puerto Rico (from Kansas City) and had 48 RSVP yes. Those that RSVP'd yes, all showed up. We dont know if it was the distance, the cost of flights and hotel, or the fact that it was end of January so was early for PTO/soon after Christmas time off from either school or work. Either way though I wouldn't have changed a thing. If we'd done a local wedding the whole thing would have been massive due to the size of my in-laws family and I liked the intimacy of ours perfectly

View Quoted Comment Not local to either family! It is an area that several of FH’s relatives are familiar with and regularly visit, so I would expect a decent turnout from that side.


Most of my family actually doesn’t live in my city so they would have to fly to get to our wedding regardless, albeit a bit less far. And tbh, I don’t know if they would come even if our wedding was local to my area lol. I think sometimes any amount of travel is a dealbreaker sadly.

View Quoted Comment Wow, that’s a great turnout! Was your wedding international or just out of state?

View Quoted Comment Aw I love that! And lol, my fiancé and I both have huge extended families so I can’t even imagine inviting all of them.

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It was in another state within the U.S. We are from all over the midwest, and had the wedding in New Orleans. It was a blast and everyone was really excited to go somewhere so fun!

"I know it's not necessarily a bad thing to have a guest list cut itself down for you, but I am concerned that many people aren't willing to spend money on flights and hotel rooms (and I totally understand that!)."

Intentionally hoping to limit guests frequently comes down to discrimination on the basis of finances or health, though. That's unavoidable when the wedding is local to the family, but as I see it, no longer the case when it's strictly for the sake of a location. It's perfectly acceptable to have a smaller local wedding.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t read this as her intentionally trying to limit her guest list. I read it as her saying if the attendance turns out low because people are unable to travel for the wedding, then at least there are some benefits that go along with having a smaller, more intimate event. And while it is “perfectly acceptable to have a smaller local wedding”, it is also perfectly acceptable to have a small destination wedding.

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Sure, when the wedding is intimate and everyone involved participated In the planning and budget discussions, that can work out just fine. Otherwise, as I'm sure you have seen in the time you have been here, a lot of people feel they put pressure and unnecessary burdens on people who won't miss a loved ones wedding. All too often, they shift costs to the guests or prioritize location over people and the inconvenience to them.

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Honestly, I don't feel a couple needs to involve others in the planning and budget discussions of their wedding (with the only exception being parents who are contributing financially/co-hosting the event). If a couple feels they want to host a destination wedding, then they should! It's not their responsibility to host an event that is the most convenient for others. As long as they are understanding when guests decline, and they properly host the guests who attend, then they've done their job.

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We disagree there.

View Quoted Comment I can see how I may have been misinterpreted! We certainly want everyone to be able to attend, and I hope they’re able to, but we also know things will be fine even with a smaller number of guests.


Almost all of my relatives would have to fly to my city if we did a local wedding, so I don’t even know if they would attend regardless of location. And most of my fiancé’s relatives travel frequently so I’m not worried about them. I’m more concerned that some of our family friends just wouldn’t want to travel for a whole weekend and would only attend a local wedding. But yes I am definitely that person that doesn’t want to inconvenience people and that’s been factoring into our overall planning haha. Even though the guests I’m not sure would attend definitely have a lot more money than me 😂

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I'd suggest keeping VIPs in mind only when you decide location. You can't accomodate everyone. It is easiest for a couple to book where they live just on multiple meetings with your venue and finding vendors. However, people definitely have destination weddings and you should not apologize if the location is special to you.

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I agree. Only the couple and anyone else who is paying should be involved in planning and budgets. People are adults and can decide for themselves if they can afford and/or accomodate a trip within their schedule. Local guests can decline as well.

The only issue I have with destination weddings are when some couples assume their guests will make a vacation of it. It's not really a holiday if you're on someone else's time.