I'm confused on what to do.

Plan on inviting her. You still have a lot of time before invitations are going out. Also, I know it’s not easy being the bigger person. But, if you still want a relationship with her, you’ll need to make it a point to talk to her. Who knows what her reasons are for not initially attending your wedding? Ultimately, it’ll be her decision whether she will go or not go to your wedding.

Your feelings are valid. Perhaps, later down the road, you can tell your grandmother how you felt just so it could possibly bring some closure. Just take the time having fun in planning your wedding with your future spouse. I, too, had loved ones that chose to not attend. But, I didn’t allow that to negatively impact my wedding day.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I completely understand-- I have family who won't attend my wedding because my partner and I are gay. I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I really thought I had gotten past being hurt by the rejection... wedding stuff is bringing that hurt back to life, though.

I decided to invite those people even though I'm positive they won't come. To be honest, I do get some satisfaction out of being the bigger person. And, unfortunately, other family have told me that, by failing to invite the ones who reject me, I would be just as intolerant. That seems like nonsense to me, but it's not worth the fight. Anyway, I don't think we lose anything by inviting people who definitely won't attend.