I need to start this off with my mother has done nothing but verbally, emotionally, and occasionally physically abuse me up until about 4 years ago when my partner and I moved out of state. She basically cut all communication with me and acts like I don't exist. For many reasons, she's not invited to my wedding and I have ZERO regrets about it.
This initially started with me actually telling her we were getting married and that she was invited (only for the sake of my sister who has a very different relationship with her than I do), but her husband (who is just as equally abusive) was not. He has verbally and financially abused me and my siblings since they've been together and I have no love for the man. Her husband has never been a father figure in my life, my own father passed away many years ago and my partners parents were much older when they had him and have also passed. So I know he would have insisted on walking me down the aisle and this 56 year old man would have thrown a fit equivalent to that of a toddler if I said no and on giving a speech which I don't want him to do and know he would have done regardless because he likes drama and an audience. My mother refuses to acknowledge that I'm getting married and come to the wedding unless I "do the right thing and stop being selfish" and invite her husband as well. We got together for Christmas at the request of my sister and my mother clearly didn't want us there. I decided screw it, I'm not obligated to invite anyone that isn't happy for or excited to celebrate us and our day.
I feel like this massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I just wanted to post this for anyone who is on the fence about inviting people they feel OBLIGATED to invite, don't do it. Save yourself the headache on your wedding day of having to babysit people or people who're going to ruin your mood/the day for you. It's about you and your partner and having a wonderful day surrounded by people who actually love and care about you. Don't invite people you could care less about and definitely don't compromise your happiness because someone told you "it's the right thing to do". I hope this empowers some of you and helps others who are struggling with whether or not to invite the difficult people in their lives on their big day. Good Luck everyone and happy new year!