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VIP October 2021

Im sad: i might have to drop a bridesmaid

Monica, on December 27, 2019 at 6:50 PM

Posted in Family and Relationships 26

This is not by my choosing but by FHs wishes. The bridesmaid is FHs sister. Me and her are really close, FH thinks we are a little too close being that he has a strained relationship with her. But the issue is that a lot of family drama went down between him, his sister & his mom. A lot of...

This is not by my choosing but by FHs wishes. The bridesmaid is FHs sister. Me and her are really close, FH thinks we are a little too close being that he has a strained relationship with her. But the issue is that a lot of family drama went down between him, his sister & his mom. A lot of disrespectful things were said (by her). His family is a little dysfunctional in the sense that they fight and then completely stop talking. This fight happened mid November and still they both haven’t talked to each other, not even at Christmas. He wants her to apologize or at least admit she shouldn’t have spazzed out on Him & cuss him out. She feels like shes the victim from the situation which is why she cussed him out and wants to put it behind her by not talking about it & pretty much act like nothing ever happened.

This puts me in a very awkward situation. He feels personally disrespected, and why would you want someone who disrespected you to be in your wedding? So I get it. If his brother/friend/cousin who is a groomsman really disrespected me, I might ask him to do the same.

I think I would fight for her if she was in the right, but unfortunately shes not. When something happens im the type of person who doesn’t just blame the other person, I reflect on faults for both sides and how both ppl could have done better. So not to say that FH is completely right, both of them could have communicated better but it wasn’t FHs fault.
I told his sister that if this fight created a war between her and her brother then hes not going to want her in the wedding. I said I really really hope they can recover and move forward from this.
This is more of a vent. Shes my really close friend but at the end of the day Im not going to let this cause potential problems between me & FH or on our wedding day, so if he really wants her dropped then I will side with him. This is his family drama not mine. Im just sad


update: had to haul out my laptop to edit this -_-

26 Comments

  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Well you and I both must be having a good day because there is a country club surprisingly about 5 minutes from my house and I meant to check them out last week Friday but that ended up falling through so I went today and there are one of the few venues that are not making us have a ceremony and reception there and we could just have the ceremony without a time limit for just $300 and she'll even let us bring an outside cake so maybe I'll just pay an order some appetizers for the few people coming and then do cake cutting before we go off and take some more pictures. I am really glad that everything was able to be resolved and hopefully everything will remain peaceful until the big day.
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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Omgg thats a big deal!! Congrats yay finally a big chunk of ur stress is eased! That would be really nice. Have the ceremony, have appetizers with your close people, & cut the cake. Will the country club give you a private space outside for the ceremony
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Yup. A fairly private place a part from a few golfers. No time frame. I think it is a country club few know of so they are not as strict about their pricing. FH has to look at it and like but honestly it is $200 under our venue budget. In fact we agreed $1200 total (not including photography but I will foot that bill because I want goo pics) for venue, officiant and taking out two friends out to a nice dinner afterwards. For two of those things we would be at $450 or $550 if we want the officiant to coordinate.

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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    😩😂 he better like it lolll. & under budget is always great!
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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Welp. 1 drama down & 1 to go. He resolved issues w his sister & Still has issues with his brother. Fh isnt close with his brother they have had a hit & miss relationship where they fight bad every few years lol. So the brother somehow expected FH to be in the wedding and FH said he already has all his groomsmen. The brother said he should be in the wedding because hes the brother.


    SIL tried to talk some sense into him and say thr only reason shes in the wedding is because her & I are really close friends, not just because shes FHs sister. His brother feels entitled and assumed and expected his place in the wedding party. Not cool. FH didn’t ask his brother because they aren’t close, they barely talk. FHs mom ALSo thinks the brother should be a groomsmen. Not fair ppl aren’t recognizing its what WE want, not about politics, not about what they want.
    FH sister tried to get the brother to let it go. The brother said NO. Omg how many ppl are going to act like children and throw tantrums? Whatever lol FH isnt losing any sleep over it.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Always, You did not know life events people will throw fits. I get having issues with the bride and grooms decision but just respect it and move on. Some can and some cannot. He should not have even told his family lol. One of my friend is going through this a bit just planning her quinceanera where she knows her Dominican in laws will have high expectations or invite all kinds of people she does not want there. He does not have to be in the wedding and he does not have to go. I have half siblings I do not really talk to so I won't invite them to anything....esp family I have beef with. Hopefully things will get better and soon it will be done. So sorry about all this.

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