Im terrified!

Sex is an important part of a mature relationship. But it's just one aspect. By thinking sex will ruin your relationship, you're giving it too much power. At first, it might be awkward, but just like anything else, you're open and you communicate and work together and then you'll realize how great it is. Best of luck!

Eta: spelling

I think that waiting is a personal choice and many on here have mentioned they are also waiting until marriage. I have heard great stories of those that waited and absolutely loved that they waited until marriage. It will more than likely bring the two of you even closer, it shouldn't ruin it.

Just make sure you are both very open with your communication about the subject so you both are comfortable with each other the first time. It is important to not set your expectations too high for the beginning, however knowing that you're husband and wife will probably make it a lot better than it really is in the beginning if that makes sense. I had a close friend who waited until she was married, and I talked to her a little about it first, so if you have a close friend you feel comfortable asking questions then ask away. Also don't be afraid to read things about it online. The more you know the better it'll be!

Aww, you'll be fine. That's sweet that you waited. Plus you've been together a long time and are a bit older, so obviously you're not getting married just to have sex like some people (NOT a good idea, IMO).

The first time might hurt a little, especially depending how far you've gone up until this point. Your FH might also finish quickly. But, it'll still be special. (And I bet times #2, #3, etc. will be awesome.)

Don't worry about it changing the relationship for the worse. It sounds like there are so many other components to your relationship other than sex. It's likely to make you even closer!

For the record, my mom was a 24yo virgin when she married (in 1984). You're a rarity, but not alone.

Ditto what Lara said. Do not be terrified. Once you add it to you relationship it will only take you and your DH to a deeper level. It's very special especially between two people who love each other and in marriage is incredible.

What's the worst that can happen/what's the basis of your fears? Are you worried that it'll be horrible and ruin things? It probably won't, especially since you've been together that long.

Sex doesn't make or break the relationship. Yes it's an important part of marriage but that also isn't all marriage is about. If you have a strong enough relationship prior to having sex your relationship will be fine no matter what happens.

I was afraid of the wedding night and decided to give it all a try before hand and it was awkward, but not scary. You really have to trust your partner and the key is communication. Luckily I lost mine to my FH & have only been with him and I feel it made the relationship that much stronger. Now it isn't awkward or scary, I wouldn't say it made or break the relationship. If you love eachother it won't matter. Embrace it, don't fear it. It will all go okay. Maybe talk to him before hand and see what your both thinking it will be like and what you are comfortable with for your first time. It might take the pressure off instead of asking in the moment when you are both unsure.

I really applaud your decision, it's one that's not made enough these days. I wish I had waited for FH

It will all go fine just trust in him and communicate

There is absolutely nothing to worry about. Having sex is a way to build your relationship, & only that. Even if there is a little pain (this is usually not an issue though, the more relaxed/comfortable with your partner you are & turned on, everything usually works out fine), or he doesn't last that long (come on, give him a break, you're the girl of his dreams!), being able to share that together and talk/laugh about things can only take your intimacy to the next level. I think it's great that you waited!

It may be a little awkward and uncomfortable the first time, but it doesn't have the power to ruin your relationship. Just go slow, relax and communicate. Try not to be bummed if it doesn't meet your expectations the first time. It will get better with practice!

Once you get the hang of it, nobody will see you for six months. Relax.

I imagine the reason you have waited to have sex until marriage is due to religious reasons. This is something you should discuss with your religious leader.

Sex is something that teenagers get obsessed with, and let it take over a relationship. Maybe its because I've been having sex for 10-plus years, but sex is not the end-all-be-all lol. Adults in a mature relationship (like you are) will not allow sex to take over or ruin a relationship. Sex is NOT LIKE ANYTHING YOU SEE IN THE MOVIES! You will learn and get better together (I'm assuming your FH is a virgin, too). It will make you even closer to your FH/husband. Communication about expectations is important.

I know a couple of people who waited until marriage, luckily everything seemed to work out for them.

The first time my FH and I were together only strengthened our bond. I always said I would never buy a car without test driving it!

However if you're waiting for religious reasons, I think your fear is completely normal. Unfortunately there isn't much advice I can give you. Just talk to your significant other about how you feel, be open with each other and make sure you're both ready for the 'big night' which doesn't necessarily have to be your wedding night either.

I respect your decision. I do disagree with those who say sex can't undermine a relationship, though. Mismatched sex drives, or really different interests / turn ons, can definitely hurt a couple over time, leaving one or both people hurt and unsatisfied. Since it is a little too late for you to "test drive," I'd just advise you to watch out for these potential pitfalls and talk about them openly. Be open to compromise and experimentation, and as Dan Savage says, be GGG (good, giving, and game).

And please talk to a doctor about what form(s) of contraception to try. There's a lot out there beyond condoms and pills, and it might take some time to find the best fit for your needs.

I'm virgin and plan on waiting.

You know hes the guy for you.

I dont believe in "test driving" I believe that if you do, you are giving away something special that belongs to your husband/wife.

I respect others in their choice not to wait and test drive, I understand why.

People have always asked me "what is he's small, what if he can't fullfill you.

People have seriously asked these question and they irk me so bad.

This is why:

If you are truly truly in love with someone, and a virgin, you'll know what you know from him, you won't have that past experience to compare it too. thats like saying "oh my ex was bigger and better so I'm leaving you and finding someone else" do people actually do that?

To me that's super wrong, I'm waiting and sex is a beautiful thing, I'm excited to experience it, yet scared but thats normal like i said.

Don't worry about, what others are saying and that sex can undermine a relationship, if you truly love that person and marrying that person, they should talk about what turns them on and such.

Heck, I'm scared to since I am waiting, but thats normal.

I've read your first time hurts and isn't what movies portray

You are definitely not the last virgin (nor the oldest); first, off I applaud your choice and having the conviction to stand by it. Sex will not ruin your relationship, it will only enhance it and bring a level of intimacy that you have to experience. While it may not be perfect the first time; it will be perfect for you because it will be with your husband. Relax, express to him your concerns and allow him to care for you in all facets, including the bedroom.

I believe that God made sex as an integral part of a marriage, but like anything else it will take communication, effort and an open mind. Allow your husband to make you comfortable, express to him your likes and dislikes (as you learn them) and don't be afraid to be vulnerable with him; heck you are marrying him for a reason.

Many blessing on your marriage and getting it on

The best advice I can give is to communicate with your partner and have a sense of humor about it. We didn't wait until marriage, but it just so happened that my FH and I were each other's first as well, and at the time I was around the same age you are now. It was awkward at first, and we were both nervous, but over time we got better. The first time, I didn't experience it as really painful--a bit uncomfortable at first, but not truly painful.

Thank you everyone!♡

You'll be fine It might be awkward and a bit painful at first (everyone is different) but you will enjoy it, and it'll be really special Just remember to relax and communicate.

Sophia, honestly, the sex will take of itself. What is imperative is that you find a gynecologist you trust. Male, female....the decision is up to you. Once you become sexually active, you need to be seeing an OB/GYN, not just for birth control, but for your reproductive health. Actually, at your age, that should have already happened. Don't answer on a public forum, but if a GYN isn't in your address/phone book, find one.