I'm worried my wedding will be super tacky...

It’s your wedding do whatever you and your fiancé want. It’s about the two of you and no one else. I know many are against the honeymoon fund, but I am doing it and don’t really care if people disagree. My guest don’t have to give me money and I feel it is no differnt than registering and telling my guest to buy me a toaster or some other things I don’t need.

View Quoted Comment Stop using your Macy's facts to justify a honeyfund! It quite literally does not translate.

In all reality, all registries are technically against etiquette. The reason people have soften to store bound registries is the guest is still providing home goods to the couple which is a necessity to start a family. Which is why guests started gifting in the first place!

Families need blankets, towels, pots and pans. To keep the duplicates at a minimum and help stores with the strain of returned items..the registry became a somewhat accepted thing. However....it doesn't evolve from there. You never ask random people or family for cash for occasions, celebrations, or other milestones. Why on earth would you ask now for your wedding?

It wasn't well received because it was telling the guests how to gift. Eighty years later you still should not be telling your guests how to gift! Let them decide for themselves, and for goodness sake leave asking for cash out.

Etiquette is not an option or cause for opinion.

A lot of those things seem tacky to me... But that's just it, it's my opinion but not my wedding! It's your wedding so do whatever makes you happy. Personally for me the most offensive would be the dollar dance and the honeyfund. I agree it's not worth going into debt for your wedding so don't exceed your means just to prevent someone from calling you tacky. Maybe look into public gardens or parks instead of a firehouse? And also, maybe don't invite the people who've told you it's going to be tacky! Why would you want such negative people surrounding you on your special day

View Quoted Comment Hahaha, did you just say stop using facts to justify something. That is hilarious. Sorry, facts are more important to me than opinions. So no, I won't stop. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

View Quoted Comment Read responses, then reply. Using a department's stores history to justify poor etiquette is well....I won't even divulge.

We are having tacos and margaritas at our wedding! I wanted to eat something I enjoy. Yes I like steak but when a caterer is cooking 100of them, no way they'll cook them to everyone's lining and imo nothing is worse than well done steak so we went with something we love to eat! I don't think that's tacky, but I'm obviously biased.

Agree with PP, if you ditch the honey fund, there is nothing wrong with your wedding. Just you use the cash you get for your honeymoon.

Omg sorry for the typos!

It’s becoming quite a regular thing to have a honeymoon/travel registry. There are sites where you can register for exactly that.
I’m working with a smaller budget than yours and we’re having our wedding - both ceremony and reception - at home. It helps that we have seven acres and are in the country, outside of town. But I think your ideas sound fine. You might be interested in the book and website Offbeat Bride/ www.offbeatbride.com. It has lots of examples of couples doing their wedding their own way and not taking any crap off of anyone. I think those women/couples/weddings are far more interesting, fun and lovely than the sheep who do exactly the same thing as everyone else or have generic weddings who when asked what their theme is reply, “Mason jars.”

I honestly feel like it’s your wedding and ultimately the people you invite are there to celebrate your marriage and shouldn’t be judging your choices. Stick to your guns and do it your way and within your budget. If someone is making you feel like it’s tacky it sounds like they don’t need to be invited.

I adore etsy. I'm just Re ally becoming my planning and have bought several things!!

I love them ALL.....and a lot of them I have in my wedding.....its your day, stand out, be different! Hell from the sound of it I wish I was invited

And if you want to save money DIY.

Ok so I love all of your ideas sounds really close to ours (minus the dollar dance, but that a regional thing I think). We are having it at a great Victorian mansion, Adam family chic/Halloween masqurad themed and working really hard to keep it all under $12,000. You do you!! And everyone we know is so excited and many have already started planning costumes and coordinating outfits. We are a big group of nerd and do comicons so it's really us.

Ok so every wedding we have been to in the last 2.5 year, 5+ weddings have had a honeyfund instead of gift registry. One had a small registry as well but that was because of her family complaining. I personally see no difference in asking for a gift that you know the cost of versus honeyfund. As people wait longer to get married many people already have all the stuff. Experiences and the memories made are what mean the most! Plates break, towels wear out but the stories and magic of an awesome honeymoon will last so much longer. If someone wants to gift you a thing they will. Look up different ways to set up a honeyfund and go with one that fits you. We helped pay for Hamilton tics for one couple, dinner out in Japan for one, a night in a tree house for another couple. Really just do you and know its going to be amazing because you are loved and worth all the stress.

View Quoted Comment Please. A wedding is Always about the Bride and Groom!

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When you invite others to a social gathering of any sort, it involves everyone. When my younger child graduated HS we had an Open House for him. For HIM - he was the guest of honor, a la a bride and groom. We invited people to our home (lots of them - the kids was in every activity) and we properly hosted. A chair for everyone, food and drink, a tent for shade. It was not an excuse for my son to be in his room, hanging with just his friends. He was expected (and did) greet each guest, thank them for coming and mingle and talk. Too many people on this forum has the outlook of "It is all about ME!" and yes, it is about you....you and about 150 other people.

A friend had an experience of the following: Bridal Party all went on a bar hopping excursion right after the ceremony. All the guest were waiting for over an hour, not enough seats for everyone. People were elderly, people were pissed. The bride had the attititude of "Well hell, it is MY wedding!" when they finally showed up. It did not go over well.

Just my two cents.

I think these ideas sounds great! A wedding is about YOU and trust me people will have negative opinions regardless of what you do trust me! I would LOVE to go to a wedding with Mexican catering!! Invite those closest to you and do what you want to do. In the end no matter what you will be so happy you listened to your gut. We are doing a very untraditional wedding as well even though we can afford to do more. Only inviting 45 guests, I don't care and I have defended my decision because it is not about everyone else. I also used to wedding plan (which is why I refuse to spend a lot on my wedding) and I cannot tell you how many people use sheet cakes. A lot of people have used fake tiered caked and had a sheet cake in the back. Girl you got this!

In the end, the wedding day is ultimately about you and so you should plan it the way you want to. I find that WW has a lot of harsh opinions that aren't necessarily what your guests might be thinking. In the end, I would rather have my wedding day be exactly what I had envisioned,than do something totally different for the sake of having strangers' approval. You do you, OP.

I think eliminating the dollar dance and honeymoon fund is a good idea, everything else is personal preference and none of their business.

View Quoted Comment "People are going to spend the same amount on you either way so why not have them put it toward something you'll enjoy?"

Because those honeyfund sites are just going to take a cut of their money if they pay by credit card. And if not, they're still just putting cash or check into an envelope as they would have done anyways!! Why make them go check off a box on some website? Also. What if the box they check is for some tour or excursion that you couldn't afford because not enough people gifted you airfare? You used that tour money to get you to your destination so when they ask how the excursion went you have no answer for them! So many reasons this is a bad idea. I had thought of doing a honeyfund myself until I learned all of this!