I'm worried my wedding will be super tacky...

I don't think the honeymoon registry is tacky I know quite a few brides that have been doing them but the dollar dance I haven't seen in quite a long time

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Yeah as I mentioned I haven't thought about or planned on doing one, so I did not know about the sites taking a cut, that's outrageous!

Just initially seemed to me the equivalent of a gift card - people like to gift money because it's ultimately easier and more practical, but gift cards exist because they also like to feel like they're tangibly giving you something that the money is "going toward," to make it more personal. I guess it's a bit different if you're asking for the money, though.

I agree that the honeymoon registry should go. Everything else sounds fine. I wouldn't worry about the dollar dance if its the norm in your area. That's something the internet doesn't seem to get, just because this site doesn't like it doesn't mean it's not normal and accepted by some people. In my area Jack and Jill's are normal and exciting. People love to go to Jack and Jills for their friends and family. We aren't having one but only because FH's friends and family all live pretty far away. But I wouldn't let people who don't know where your from tell you something is tacky if to you and your circle it's totally normal.

The only thing that’s tacky is the honeymoon part. And fire halls are fine and can be decorated nicely. But with 10k- which was twice my budget- it can be done. But you have to have realistic expectations. You cannot host a big grand wedding on 10k. Like venue, food and drinks for 100+ people. Cut your list by half and you can absolutely make it work. I’m all about family and amazing weddings, but you cannot do all it sounds like you want to do on 10k. If your wedding is 10k- you can’t spend 1000+ On a dress.

View Quoted Comment I mean history will play a factor and yes etiquette is almost certain to evolve and change. If you check the history of weddings etiquette has changed massively, elvolved, gotten more strict, and less strict in many ways. None of us can really predict and say what trends and changes will come.

My only reason against it is the fees associated. I think it should go directly to the couple. But that same thing happens with many organizations.

Only point to that post was that things could change. It may be frowned on now. However, things do change so we don’t really know what will come in 50 years when you see how it’s elvolved already over the years.

Honeymoon registry is definitely a thing, don't let people tell you otherwise It's just very new & modern, but definitely nothing wrong with it.

Overall, don't worry about what anyone else has to say about your wedding. This is YOUR day and you should be doing what makes YOU happy, period! While being in this process, I've learned that EVERYONE has an opinion and they think that they can share it with you (insert rolling eye emoji here). But who cares if it's "tacky" or if it's something that people can't grasp. Bottom line is that this is your day and you get to make the calls. Side note: BBQ or Mexican sounds absolutely delicious, sounds like you're gonna have an amazingly fun wedding that really captures you and your fiances personalities.

Having a sheet cake for guests is a great idea. They still get great tasting cake, but without it costing hundreds of dollars!!

You can have any kind of wedding you want! My only thought would be to skip the dollar dance. Not sure if that's a regional thing but I went to a wedding just outside of Pittsburgh and when the dollar dance happened I was really confused and didn't understand why it was being done since I'd never been to a wedding that did that before (I'm from New York so again maybe it's just a local thing). But if you really want it you should do it and not let anyone make you feel funny about things you want for your special day. Yes you should be mindful of guests feelings but it doesn't sound like anyone is hurt it just sounds like they're being judgmental and they shouldn't be. I know someone who did a Halloween themed wedding and it looked like so much fun!

Do whatever makes you happy! This is your party. I understand firsthand how difficult it can be trying to make everyone else happy. I am doing a large hall wedding, with a buffet and no alcohol. I just can’t afford to have a wedding with alcohol because my wedding venue stipulates in the contract I can only order drinks from a nearby super upscale restaurants. At times I am seriously considering throwing in the towel and eloping as the wedding costs continue to rise. It seems like any service wedding related is 500-1000 dollars. Be glad to hear how your continued wedding planning goes.

You’re wedding sounds like mine! We are doing it at my parents house (it’s on a lake and has a huge yard). We are doing wine beers and a few drinks, we are having a pig roast and we did make the honeymoon part of our registry. We also did a separate registry as well. If it makes you happy, do it. It’s your day!!

@Allyson - This thread has gotten long, which is great as lots of people are supporting you and your upcoming nuptials. I am a bit older than most brides on WW, have been married once before and with A LOT of cousins and many friends, I have been to a lot of weddings. My unasked for advice: Please don't let the somewhat prevalent attitude of "It is MY day! I will do it MY WAY!" take over the need for manners and good taste, meaning your wedding should be like you are inviting people into your home. They should not have to pay for anything, not a Diet Coke, a Jack and Coke, a beer, a dance with you or the groom, parking fees or worse yet - your honeymoon. I invite people into our home, I provide a meal, a mixed drink or a beer, and a comfy chair. I don't ask them to pay for my trip I want to take to Florida in March. A honeymoon is a privelege not a right and to ask people fork over money......ugh. A common battle cry is "But my family loves me!" meaning they will never tell a bride the honeyfund is bad....but it is.

Good for you for setting a realistic budget and sticking to it!! You sound like a sensitive woman! Best wishes to you and Mr. Groom!

We had our engagement party at our local firehouse hall and multiple people said we could have just done that for the actual wedding, and that would have been fine! Hosting your guests well is really what makes a wedding not tacky. Out of everything you mentioned I'd say only the honeymoon fund is tacky and just be careful with the halloween theme. There are ways to do it tastefully, but be careful because it can be tacky if executed poorly.

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Thank you for saying this!! It can get pretty nasty pretty quick if you're doing anything against "perfect" etiquette and expectations...

I’ve heard a lot of arguments for and against certain traditions but it ultimately comes down to what you want and what you think will make your guests happy. For example, maybe you love seafood but your partner’s family all hates. You wouldn’t just say “I’m going to have seafood because I want it.” You’re throwing a party to celebrate with/for them not to entertain yourself.

There’s a really great podcast out there called “Put a Ring On It” that talks about so many of these issues. The hosts are wedding pros from the Philly area and may have some answers to your concerns. Best of luck!

I don’t think your ideas are tacky at all. The one thing I would change is the honeymoon registry because you’re basically asking people to fund that. You don’t have to go on a honeymoon immediately after the wedding. Go when you all are financially able to do so.

As far as people saying it’s tacky, my motto is, if they think it needs to be a certain why, then they can help finance it. If not, they shouldn’t say anything at all. It’s your wedding !

10k is a decent amount of money with the right guest list

The only things I really see as "tacky" (quoting you not calling you that) are the honeymoon registry and a dollar dance.

Also if there are any recently passed on the memorial table please clear it with the immediate family. My DH lost his grandmother and asked we not do a memorial table because it'd be too hard for his mother himself and his brother.

Personally I don't like the dollar dance or honeymoon fund thing. I would start paying for your honeymoon. Most time people give card and money that you can use towards your honeymoon. But honest it is you day do what you feel is right.

I'm Nigerian and I'm not going to even go there about saying anything is tacky because I've done seen it all and a dollar dance is not tacky we do that at every event no matter what it is we dance and the dollars fly it is not tacky at all it's just cultural but if you don't want to be tacky you can kindly say that you know gifts would be appreciated however monetary gifts would be more much more appreciated so that it doesn't sound like your funding your honeymoon but you really are funding your honeymoon you just don't tell anybody is honeymoon fund and do you wherever you feel comfortable that's within your budget to go and do your wedding reception will be fine.