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Savvy March 2020

I'm worried my wedding will be super tacky...

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Rachael, on February 14, 2018 at 5:40 PM

Hi all, I'm new to WeddingWire, primarily because of this post. I'm super worried my wedding is going to be tacky. We don't have anything set in stone yet, but we've been talking a lot about what we want and while he isn't as bothered, I'm really worried. I've been getting a lot of weird messages...

Hi all,

I'm new to WeddingWire, primarily because of this post. I'm super worried my wedding is going to be tacky. We don't have anything set in stone yet, but we've been talking a lot about what we want and while he isn't as bothered, I'm really worried. I've been getting a lot of weird messages from vendors in my area and other people when talking about my wedding and what we want, and it has me super on edge.

Firstly, we're working on a VERY limited budget. We really can't afford to go over 10 grand, and we'd like to stay under if at all possible. We're very unwilling to go into debt over our wedding, considering the fact that I'm already buried in student loan debt. And it's been really hard to find anyone in the Pittsburgh area who will take anything less than 10k just for the venue, food, and drinks.

Here are currently all the things I've been told are tacky about my wedding:

Having it in a fire hall or banquet hall, having it literally any place except a ballroom, not having anyone walk me down the aisle or dance with me in place of my dad, having either BBQ or Mexican catering (which we want) rather than a fancy catered meal and just that as a late night snack, having only beer and wine and a couple signature drinks rather than a fully open bar, having a memorial table, having sheet cakes for guests rather than them eating from the big tiered cake, doing a dollar dance (which ive never EVER been to a wedding without), having a honeymoon registry, having a halloween themed wedding, not inviting my coworkers, not wearing a full length wedding gown....

The list goes on and on and on. I'm really working myself into a frenzy over this to the point where I've said to my fiance on multiple times that we should just elope because I'm too stressed about trying not to be tacky, and make everyone happy... so I'm asking for advice. Which of these are people just being picky or trying to upsell me things, and which of these are things that are ACTUALLY tacky and bad to do.

Thanks in advance.

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169 Comments

Devoted September 2019
Phelicia · on October 10, 2018 at 12:10 AM
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Its YOUR DAY. It's supposed to be what YOU want. They can either attend or not. Dont let other peoples opinions deter you from your vision.
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Savvy September 2018
Laura · on October 21, 2018 at 10:32 PM
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I think weddings are an exercise in taking care of YOU and not others expectations. At the end of the day, you will be married to a man you love and not stressed over debt. We did not keep up with the Joneses because we prefer to invest the extra money, and I am sort of wrestling with similar fears, like were our handwritten invites tacky ( we had a 50 person more laid back wedding ). I think you will be happy someday that you were brave enough to be true to you in a world full od so many wedding expectations. I hope it goes well. Sounds fun!!! I would love to go to your wedding.
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Just Said Yes November 2017
Chelsea · on October 22, 2018 at 10:43 AM
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Hi! Late to the conversation but also a Pittsburgh “bride” here. I just came here to say that it’s your wedding and you should do what you want and not care what others think. I eloped a year ago so that we could include a family member in hospice and now we’re just having a wedding reception/anniversary party. I spent so much time reading wedding magazines and the knot that I got myself super worked up for nothing. We decided to have a cocktail style reception for 80 people at Olive or Twist downtown. I’m not wearing a wedding dress – I bought a pretty blue dress off Asos for $150. We’re having Costco sheet cake and I’m not decorating at all. We sat down and make a list of what really mattered to us and decided we’d rather spend the money on food and an open bar and who cares about everything else. We’re pulling the whole thing off for around $7k. And honestly, I feel great about it and absolutely no stress at all. You will never regret doing things your way, I promise.
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Beginner June 2019
Shannon · on January 5, 2019 at 2:27 AM
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Don't listen to people on here about the honeymoon fund. What's worse is putting stuff on a registry that you don't need just because strangers said something is tacky. As a guest, I would much rather give money for an experience as opposed to a blender they may or may not use. People don't have to get a gift and if they think the honeymoon fund is tacky then they don't have to do it! We are doing smaller registries on Macy's and Target, then one on Travelers' Joy.
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Devoted May 2019
Lauren · on January 9, 2019 at 9:31 AM
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Maybe it'll make you feel better...but what I am doing, some may see as incredibly tacky and selfish.. I am having a surprise wedding. No one knows about it except my FH and our vendors. We are paying a little over $2,000. (That includes my dress, venue, our rings, food, decor, booze.) We are only having a ceremony and small dinner with a couple bottles of champagne to celebrate. With immediate family only. We will have a bigger celebration later in the year with extended family and friends.

The only thing I see wrong with your list is the honeyfund. I don't see it as tacky tho.. my FH brother had a homeyfund and we paid for them to go scubadiving. I didnt feel disrespected or like I was just being asked for money. I gifted them an experience, not a material item. BUT, the reason honeyfunds are bad is, the sites take some of the money from you. I'm honestly kinda pissed that I gifted scubadiving but they probably still will have to pay for some of it because the site took some of MY money that was meant for THEM. (I didnt know this info about honeyfunds til recently and I gifted them the scubadiving about a year ago.)

Anyway, it is YOUR wedding. Not your moms, brothers, uncles, aunts, friends..etc. you do what you want. Just please ditch the honeyfund idea.
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Savvy November 2019
Priscilla · on February 6, 2019 at 9:07 AM
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As I kept reading what you were having all I could keep saying is wow that sounds yummy, fun, we are doing that. Honestly, your wedding plans seems pretty freaking good. If it's vendors they are probably just wanting you to spend more towards their business, and if that's the case don't work with them. Work with someone who is willing to listen and work with/for you. At the end of the day you are hiring them.
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