In law disappointment

Hey all, I’m in a pretty uncomfortable situation with my in laws and I’m seeking some advice, and also honestly just venting. Warning- this is going to sound like an episode from a soap opera because it’s just that ridiculous. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 4 years, and have lived together for 2. His parents asked us to come stay with them due to some unfortunate financial circumstances my fiancé had gotten himself into. And also so he could figure out his career situation. I however was doing just fine financially, and only chose to move in with my fil’s because I knew it would help take some pressure off of fiancé while he made the career change( just in case anyone’s wondering were early/mid 20’s so it’s a true career change) I was working full time plus OT and taking care of myself just fine. My fiancé received a fantastic job offer after he had sold his vehicle to pay debts. So we were sharing MY car that has already been paid in full, and it put me in a position to need to resign from my job. I felt it was the right thing to do because his new position could easily pay all of our bills and still allow us to save. And give him the career he’s always wanted. So I chose to also take advantage of the time I would not be working and get several certifications done that I was wanting to have... Upon finding out that I was slightly behind my SELF IMPOSED timeline with my certs my fmil proceeds to call me out and tell me it’s a sign of a poor work ethic....... after literally killing my self trying to help her son (who she was not helping might I add) get his finances in order. She then proceeded to come to my door when my fiancé was working and told me that from now on I would be finishing my certifications in her presence so she could WATCH ME and make sure I was where I needed to be. And upon me reminding her that I am a grown woman, and telling her verbatim that I “felt she may be handling this excessively, and that it was putting me in an uncomfortable situation” she dead ass proceeded to tell me not to disrespect her and that if i didn’t like her methods to get the f**k out of her house.. when I stared at her in complete shock she then said”say yes ma’am or get out” I’m being completely serious. and I was so completely dumbfounded that I just picked up some of my stuff and left. My parents were shocked, my best friend was shocked, and my fiancé was pissed. She then proceeded to tell fiancé that she regretted nothing that she said, and that she felt I owed HER and apology for “smarting off” when I essentially just stuck up for myself. That evening I went back to try and find a compromise for the sake of our relationship even though I had no intention on continuing to stay there. And she told me that I was wrong, and she was right and that I deserved it, and that if I live in her house I do what she says regardless of age and that I better be “working 10 hours a day on my certifications, getting another job(which yet again, can’t work because her son uses my car), or I better be mopping her damn floors” I was just so humiliated that I finally just said “I am so disappointed in you” and she lost her absolute mind, gets off the couch, runs at me like she thinks she going to hit me, and proceeds to call me every unsavory name in the English language. To the point that my fiancé, his sister, and ffil are physically holding her back and screaming at her. I went to the other side of the house to gather more of my things and calm down. I’m crying and just genuinely so shocked and humiliated I didn’t know what to do with myself. My ffil and sister in law came into the room and basically proceeded to defend my fmil and say “you know how she is, you should’ve just apologized” “even if you don’t mean it you’ll have to apologize to her if you want this to go away” “ you should have just let her tell you what to do” they said that if I didn’t apologize that it was on me if our relationship was ruined, and various other ridiculously hurtful things. Fiancé is beyond livid and on the verge of knocking somebody out, and my fsil proceeds to try and guilt fiancé by saying “you put mom through so much when we were teenagers you owe her, (which that’s a whole different story.) mom is responsible for all your success in life (fiancés adopted) you can’t let this ruin your relationship” and walks out. None of them reached out to me at all after that, and when I had to come over to collect more of my belongings my fmil comes and apologizes only for her outburst and that’s it. I accepted her apology and said it meant a lot.. And she then proceeds to stand there waiting for an apology from me. When she realized she wasn’t getting one she left and I could hear her on the other side of the house complaining about how she didn’t get an apology........ since then not one of them has spoken to me, I even texted sil when she had a surgery and said “I’m glad it went okay, you’re in my prayers. Love you.” And she flat out ignored me. My fiancé’s other sister has reached out once asking about me but it sounded like she wanted info more than she wanted to check on him or I. And she reached out to him not me.

know this was a lot to read, but I’ve really been struggling with all of this. It doesn’t just effect my relationship with his parents and siblings but all of the extended family and family friends I’ve worked so hard to get to know as well. I know lies are being told about me and I hate not really feeling like I have the opportunity to defend myself. I really don’t know what to do moving forward. I feel like our relationship is permanently damaged and I hate the thought of our future kids even being around people like this. We’re right smack in the middle of wedding planning and I have no communication with them. I don’t even want them to have a place of honor at our wedding. I was planning on asking both of my fsil’s to be in the bridal party and that’s absolutely off the table. I have no idea what the next year until the wedding will be like and it gives me anxiety to think of having to reach out about guest lists, timelines, plans etc.

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice? Should I have handled it differently? I’ve been trying really hard to handle it well, but I really dislike them at this point unfortunately.