In-law horror stories... & go!

I love my FILs! They just have a very different idea of wedding norms than my family does.

My FIL's side is more of the potluck, jean wearing, backyard type of wedding. My family is more like the plated dinner, black tie, grand ballroom type wedding.

The IL's offered to pay for the alcohol for our wedding. They wanted to buy kegs of beer and boxed wine. The venue doesn't allow that, so that isn't going to be an option.

I am trying to involve my FMIL as much as possible because her other son eloped and didn't invite anyone, including her.

@brittnee - "I bring up anything about the wedding and she basically ignores it until she remembers to ask me if I know the colors so she can order her dress." HOLY CRAP SAMEEEEE she's asked me 6x now what colors i'm thinking and i tell her EVERY TIME.

Ever since we became engaged my future mother in law has been a nightmare. She is an alcoholic and I guess the idea of her first born getting married has taken a horrible toll on her because she's drinking more and being crazy. My FH had to go pull her out of some strangers woods because she drove drunk with her teenage daughter in the car and when the daughter told her she was to drunk to drive she flipped out and stopped on the side of the road and was rolling around in the woods. When my fiancé went to help her she told her mother that we were all abusing her. She has been abusing narcotics although her husband locks her medication up she tells her mother he isn't giving her any although he is only on the correct schedule so she's taking her mothers narcotics as well as her own.

She told my fiancé that I discussed our sex life with his teenage sister which I assure you I haven't. We told them we live together and you'd think we just committed the worst sin ever. Even though they had a child out of wedlock.

Now she wants to have a private conversation with my fiancé with her and his father. I'm sure it is to try and convince my fiancé not to marry me. My parents are in their 80's and there's a good chance they won't be around when we have children because of their health so I was hoping to have a good relationship with his parents but that appears to not be possible.

And finally the last little bit that completely shattered what little hope I had left was the fact that his mom try to connect with me by saying she was abused as a child and I have found out that was all a lie. I'm glad she wasn't abused but what kind of person makes that kind of stuff up.

Human nature is to view the grass as greener on the other side...so this post was a reminder as to how I don't have in-laws. Both of my fiance's parents passed away during the first year of us dating...I only met his mom once, very briefly. I only have my mom...so between him & I we only have 1 parent. We're also both only children. I feel terrible that our future children won't have any uncles, aunts, or grandparents, besides my mom who lives 2 hours away. *sigh*

FMIL told one of my FSIL that when we went dress shopping I forced her to drive the hour to shop, my mom yelled at her in the shop, & we all went to eat lunch afterwards and didn't invite her. 1) I didn't force her to drive, she offered because she doesn't like riding with other people driving when going long distances. 2) My mom hardly spoke to her because FMIL was busy trying to find other dresses than the two I was deciding between. 3) Nobody went to lunch after the appt. FMIL & I left the shop together & came home

One FSIL has been nothing but trouble through this whole planning. My baby sister is my MOH & she's throwing my bridal shower. FSIL got mad because she wanted to be in charge of the planning for the shower while simultaneously saying she wasn't paying for any of it. Most recently she told FH & I that nobody RSVPs anymore so it was pointless to put that on the invites for the wedding & the shower.

@Future that is horrible. Urg.

FMIL can never, ever say anything nice. I have never met someone so negative in my life! I've tolerated it you for years but finally hit my boiling point with the wedding. I made the nice gesture of offering to provide hair and makeup for her since my mom and sister will definitely be joining me and she goes "oh that's so ugly." Then she complains about the cost of traveling to our wedding while refusing financial assistance from us. Worst of all she trash talks FFIL all the time and tells me all of the nitty, gritty details of their divorce. You know the divorce they had 12 years ago!!! She keeps saying how difficult our wedding is for her and how much she dreads seeing him. Like enough already!

I just keep reminding myself that she is unhappy and with the life she's created for herself and there's nothing else I can do to help her. I also know that deep down she loves us so much and truly wants us to have a happy marriage which is what matters.

I like my in-laws more than I like my own parents.

My mother in law is the best!!!! His father passed away 10 years ago.

@MrsMcK- Me too!!!!! They actually act like they love me, it's amazing!

@MrsMcK Same here for the most part. FMIL has been more of a mother to me than my own mom.

Mine aren't that bad. I do take exception to a comment my FMIL made about my profession (no I'm not a stripper lol I'm in healthcare). I don't think she meant to be insulting but I was insulted.

My FFIL is a dentist and he also has a particular opinion about my healthcare profession yet when he's sick, they both come running to me and asking questions. And when I pull in favors, they don't like it. So I promise myself not to help them with medical issues anymore.

My FMIL has been doing a countdown before I was. Her and I have a great relationship.

I'm getting married in the temple and my FMIL and her fiance told us that they don't want to be at the temple cause they are Mormon and don't like the Mormon church. It's just frustrating…

You know I think when I first started posting on this site there was a thread just like this about ILs and I remember posting something like "Mine are great! Love them!" And they still are but then the wedding planning started and the butting of heads started...ugh...I've had it out with FMIL more times than I'd like to say. Over the dumbest things too- like about floral stuff and who gets invited to the rehearsal dinner vs not. There hasn't been a cold war yet but there have been many cold battles...

I have a great relationship with FILs, no horror stories, but FMIL keeps trying to refer to herself as "mother in love" and I don't know how to politely say it drives me up a wall.

I think my FH would have lots to write about on this thread about my mother!

But FH's mom has been great to me. A few hiccups that have needed to be smoothed out during the planning process but otherwise great.

I spent a long time trying to figure out how to have a good relationship with MIL and wondering why she treated us so poorly, but over time I finally realized that good relationships are a two-way street that require mutual respect and MIL and I would never be able to have that if I was the only one who ever made an effort. No matter how understanding I would try to be, or how much of her bullshit I was able to sweep under the rug, she would never alter any of her behaviors. I would always be the one to compromise and take her abuse to make her happy and in her eyes she would always be the innocent victim no matter what I did. I was miserable and the resentment I built towards her in those first few years will probably take decades to dissipate.

Finally, I dropped the rope and stood up for myself and our family. We do not deserve her abuse and I do not have to keep putting up with it because she is "family". We will not continue the cycle of abuse and teach our children that it is okay to treat people with such hatred and disrespect. You teach people how to treat you, and if they can't learn better, they do not belong in our lives.

Basically, she treated my DH like absolute garbage and I took away her punching bag. She will never forgive me for taking away the absolute control she had over his life by helping DH realize he was allowed to grow into his own person. Now he is the strong man she tried so hard to beat down and repress, and somehow she is the victim in all this?

The stories are endless.

I can't describe the relief I feel to know that she will never be allowed to cause drama in our lives again because we just won't put up with her manipulation and abuse anymore. When we do have to see her, we can shut her down when she steps out of line or remove ourselves from the situation by literally getting up and leaving. It's amazing and has totally changed our lives.

My in-laws are amazing. I can definitely say I'm blessed.

I have so many stories about my FFIL, but this one is wedding related. We were at a family wedding about a year out from our own. FH and I had already discussed the guest list and decided not to invite about 20 extended family members who we really didn't know well. One older couple, call them Susie and John, were at the current wedding and they were on the list of extended relatives. The whole night FFIL kept bringing up our wedding. "Are you guys going to have a DJ or band?" And millions of other questions like that. I was a bridesmaid and I was just trying to focus on the couple. Anyways then I overheard FFIL talking to Susie and John saying "Steve and Laura are getting married next year in Seattle! It's going to be great, you guys have to come up for it." I could have killed him. So we ended up not only having to invite them but the list of extended family. And what a surprise they've all RSVP'd yes. GAH