In law relationships

I got lucky, my in laws are amazing. I love my fiancés family. Sometimes I go on lunch dates or spa dates with his mom. His brother and father are really nice and treats me like family. The only problem I ran into was when we started planning our wedding, his mom kept nagging us about the money we are spending. She doesn't like when we use our money we worked hard for so that was my only problem. But I just bit my tongue and let him deal with it. But with the wedding getting so close she has gotten much better.

I love my in laws. They're so loving and the best parents ever. They treated me like their own from day 1. I treat their son like royalty (he deserves it) so I guess they appreciate that. My mom (always been a single mom) is my best friend ever so it's nice that we're all family oriented.

View Quoted Comment That's really awesome that you connect with the extended family. I make an effort towards everyone, but FH's aunts, uncles, and cousins just don't do it for me. Not people I would voluntarily spend time with. Also one brother is a jerk but I've kept this opinion to myself so no toxic relationship. I do get along with his grandparents.

I'm not close with my in laws. They are rude and have come off as racist by things they have said. My husband and I don't really talk much to me and haven't seen them since Christmas of 2019 due to the pandemic. He gets along well with my parents! They call and text each other, and are close with him so that's one bonus!

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My wife and I are both very close with our families. We make a point to spend time together with both of our families, both separately and together. I think having a solid relationship with your spouses family is very important.

My wife has some cousins that I would not normally choose as friends . It is more of a "we are family now so I deal with you" kind of thing lol.

I LOVE my Future Father in law, 2 Future Brother in laws and 2 future sister in laws, one future sister in law is actually one of my bridesmaid and we're working on closing on a house 5 minutes down the road from the other brother and sister in law! I even love my FH's grandma (she calls me on the regular lol) his aunts and his cousins, one I drive to school every morning lol.

My future MIL is a different story. We get along fine, but I grew up in a completely different family dynamic than she did. My mom/dad and I all have a very fun friend like relationship, we can poke fun at eachother and make jokes with each other and are just all around very laid back people. She can't take a joke if her life depended on it, so when I'm just being myself she gets pissed ( I should also mention that her and my FFIL fight constantly) She screams and throws fits with door slamming when she doesn't get her way or someone disagrees with her (on the smallest things like what bread to use for sandwiches) I didn't grow up in a house with that dynamic so it makes me uncomfortable and jumpy. She acts like she is always right and if you disagree with her you are "picking on her" or she will try to convince you why she is right. She asked to come wedding dress shopping with me, I politely told her no, and explained that I only wanted my mom, MOH and one of my 7 other bridesmaids who is my best friend to come with me. She threw a FIT that she should be included (mind you she did not do this with my two future sister in laws) I went on to explain (which I don't think I should have had to) that I have severe body dysmorphia and the less people around me the better for me mentally, also the fact that I know I'm not going to fit in sample sizes, so I don't really need her there as I'm clamped into a dress with my butt hanging out, everyone that's coming with me has seen my butt relatively recently lol. She still whined and cried that I didn't want to include her and I was rude for not including her. I just try to keep quiet when around her and try to keep peace for FH's sake tho he has blown up on her a couple times for how she treats him but I get blamed for his legitimate blow ups as well.

My FH and My parents on the other hand is an entirely different story, they get along SO well, but my parents are so easy to get along with. FH gains up on my mom or me with my dad and vice versa. We all have a great time together and he gets along great with my brother and all my cousins which was really important to me. I'm super close to my cousins so if they didn't approve of him we wouldn't be here lol

I don't like a single one of them and they don't like me, either.

The grandmother who raised him was wicked, toxic, manipulative, and a bully. I mostly keep my words to myself because he cherished the woman, but I have absolutely no goodwill toward her, in life or in death. His other grandmother is a pretentious snob. His mom, aunt, and sisters are all toxic, manipulative bullies. They all got it from his grandmother. One sister only calls or messages when she wants something out of him. The other sister is a drug addict. His dad is a drug addict, a racist, and a creep.

Icing on the cake, they are all "Christian" - and I use that term loosely because they are the kind of Christian that only believes because they think it will get them afterlife cookies, and it gives them a free pass to be intolerant, hateful bigots - and when they finally found out I was atheist, they called my husband to inform him that we were no longer welcome at the family holiday dinners. After a few years, they rescinded that and started asking us to come again, but I refuse on principle. Make no mistake, they haven't had some change of heart that made them realize they should love us regardless, they just realized that they can't get nearly as much out of him if they estrange him.

My FMIL get along much better now but it wasn't always this good. She's very manipulative and controlling and has a lot of attention issues. She had a hard time letting her son grow up and get serious with a woman that wasn't her. My FFIL is amazing and I call him "my new daddy". He's the sweetest person and is much more attentive and supportive than my own father. I get along with one of my FH's siblings but not the other. The other one really doesn't get along with anyone though so its not me, personally. I adore his aunt as well.

My in-laws all have their own set of problems and at first I was looked at as an outsider and bashed by his mom and sister but I'm now considered a major peacemaker when drama presents iteself. Its weird how our journey has gone but I'm glad we're in a better space now.

View Quoted Comment Omg same thing with me! Lol. MIL is a good person and I respect her..but I wouldn’t say we are close. She is controlling and crosses boundaries with her daughter’s parenting. I worry she will try to do that with us when we have kids. I know she means well and wants the best for her grandkids, but she needs to let parents be the parent and she just worry about being grandma.

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My mom can be pretty controlling and cross boundaries too! I wouldn't say FMIL does that, but he is very opinionated. I agree that they do need to focus on just being the grandparent lol.

View Quoted Comment Oh totally. For what it's worth, I wouldn't choose some of my own cousins as friends lol

I love my future in laws. They are very similar to my family - they love to cook, take family vacations to Cape Cod, family is very important to them, etc. so it was easy to click with them right away. They are very kind and generous and help us out if we need it. They are helping with the wedding and very open to us doing whatever makes us happy. My FH has a similar relationship with my family, too. Both our families think we are the best thing to happen to each other, so they are very supportive of the relationship. I feel very, very fortunate.

My in-laws are the best, just the loveliest people. Never invasive, always helpful, and so generous and thoughtful! The other children's partners have been in the family for literally decades so I'm fairly far behind in terms of how well we know each other compared to the others, but I feel super lucky.

They've really made me feel welcome and like a member of their family and it's meant an awful lot - I dated some people with horrible, toxic parents who treated me like trash, so this has felt like an extra gift to me.

MIL and I got along well before the wedding. I spent a great deal of time at my then fiancé's house hanging out with them. However after the wedding I think she started to feel uncomfortable with me taking her son away (he previously lived at home). So the relationship has become more strained. I never expected it to happen but here it is, relationships change (or people's perception of each other change). I get along with the rest of the in-laws just fine.

FIL and I had a bit of non-existent/rocky relationship for some time... but MIL and I get along like a house on fire.

We are actually a LOT alike (which DH didn't notice right away, and then the dawning realization was *hilarious*). Once she got to know me, and realized I had no intention of doing anything but marrying him, we got really close. She even told FIL to wake up and smell the coffee, that he didn't know me because he *literally never talked to me*.

Which was even weirder, because DH and I fell in love over the same sports teams... and he picked that up from his dad. FIL and I even grew up in the same region - we can both do a rather specific accent. We're getting closer.

DH and my dad are two peas in a pod and get along so well, I have a text thread that goes to the two of them. (I was tired of getting the exact same answer in two different text threads when commenting on sports. My phone was an echo chamber.) ...Now I have a thread that goes to DH, dad, and FIL... JUST FOR SPORTS. (OMG, my ILs AND my parents get along and I refuse to question it, I'm just going to take the gift. MIL and stepmom vibe like woah.)

It's my mother that no one gets along with, but that's ok, because she refused to come to the wedding.

I'm grateful. I'm the one who brought the proverbial Monster-in-Law to the relationship, but we made the healthy decision to cut her toxicity away.

We live across the street from my MIL. You’d think we’d see each other, visit, get along better. I imagined that much. I put the effort. Well in reality I think we just respect who each other is and that’s about it. She is not close to any of my kids. Two of which are her son’s biological children. & that’s a big thing for me when she shows love and attention to other grand children of hers. For just living across the street watching my kids grow up from her porch... I’ll never understand how little of a role she plays in our lives. My babies call her Titi which means aunt. They have no idea that’s their grandma. It’s a shame seriously. I’m truly disappointed.

My future In-Laws make me anxious and I find it really hard to get comfortable with them. I come from a farming family that struggled and they live in a wealthy community and are kind of like a poster family. I love them but it's hard to connect with them when we have nothing in common. My family is loud and crazy and my partners family is quiet and 'posh'. I'm hoping this gets better before my partner and I tie the knot.