In laws (aunt and grandma in law)

Can someone give me advice on how to deal with my fiancé aunt and grandmother? His grandmother think she’s the mom, and the aunt yelled at me at a bar because she’s not a Bridemaids in my wedding. And got mad because I introduced her as his aunt.. (confusing i know) There a huge age gaps between us, I’m not close to her. She keeps telling me her step girls aren’t comfortable with being in it. When my fiancé and I have talked to the girls and they said they are. The grandmother got mad because she wasn’t involved in any of mine and fiancé house decision... she keeps asking me if I have done anything for my wedding and I haven’t. His aunt showed up to our engagement party at 8pm at night, it started at 3pm, and left at 805pm.. have been rude to me since we gottan engaged. My sister in law is getting marry too, I wasn’t involved in the dress decision, or any decision, they haven’t even think to include me, not that I care. It totally cool! I respect that. My sister in law did ask me to be in the wedding, but that’s it. Why do I have to include them with all of my planning? The aunt and grandmother like to compare our wedding, and the grandmother is mad that my parents are paying for it all and She’s made that my parents asked me and my fiancé to not put money in. The grandparents only offered to pay for their guest food and drink and half of the rehearsal dinner Which that’s cool. So I feel like they aren’t putting in for the other stuff I don’t have to involve them, his mom is a single mom so they feel like they have to help, I have told them it’s fine they don’t have too. I have told my fiancé I will involve his mom in whatever he wants me to involve her in and I decided she’ll be involve in everything. She shouldn’t have to miss out on planning her son wedding. But I’m not involving my own grandparents in decision that isn’t their to make. It’s my parents since they are paying for it. Now I’m super uncomfortable to be around them, my fiancé is super upset with how his aunt have treated me and him. I try to put a smile on my face when I’m around them but I feel like anything I say will set them off. Since the argument with the aunt at the bar, she been even more rude one day and super friendly the next.... at this point if I could she wouldn’t be invited to my wedding with how she talked to me but I can’t do that to my fiancé. I need help in how to deal with them and tell them enough information (which information) that’ll make them feel like they are apart of the wedding. My mother in law and sister in law are great. If any advice to mend the relationship that’ll be great too! I do wish I was comfortable with them and was close to them! But I don’t think they’ll ever like me.