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Jenny
Just Said Yes February 2024

In-laws not in good health for a destination wedding. Am i being selfish?

Jenny, on November 2, 2022 at 9:56 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13
For the last several years I have imagined I would have a destination wedding in Guatemala(where my family is from) however my fiancés dad is disabled in a scooter and his mom is not great health wise to travel (also I’m not sure she would be open to traveling there). Guatemala isn’t exactly a handicap accessible place. Is it selfish of me to want a wedding there when I know for a fact neither of his parents would be able to make it for health reasons. We essentially need to have our wedding in our hometown if we want them to come but I hate the thought of that. I am friendly with his parents but not close to them at all. I think it would be weird for everyone at the wedding if his parents weren’t there. What do I do?

13 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on November 4, 2022 at 4:51 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica Online ·
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    Whether you are close to them or not isn't important in my opinion. It's your fiance's parents and unless he isn't close to them then I can't imagine he wouldn't want them to be at his wedding. I personally feel it's more important to have VIP family members in attendance rather than a specific location.
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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Barring some big problems of your fiancé's parents, the first choice would be to have the wedding where all parents could be there. The weddings are about moving from one family to create a new one. I know there are at times two weddings when having to share the celebration across two countries.

    Another option, which some couples have had to do anyhow, is do the marriage the states -- maybe with a small group including your fiancé's parents and then have the bigger event in Guatemala --if that seems to work well for his parents. What does your fiancé think about the matter? (This question also may be useful when thinking what family means to you all.)

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  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Hello can you try to do a little ceremony for his parents that can't come. And then have your actual wedding to the destination you want it at. I know how it feels because my mother was not at mom wedding. Its really hurts me so I did want his mother that is not 100. But wasable to attend our wedding. I was trying to setup a way for my mom to be on video. I was late and couldn't do the setup for her to srry us getting married but I sent her alots of pics. I hope it all works out
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Could you maybe have a wedding in the states for his parents, then honeymoon in Guatemala, where you would have the big celebration with your family?
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Presumably your FI is close to them, even if you aren't. What does he want to do? Can your family travel from Guatemala?

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  • S
    Devoted September 2022
    Sara ·
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    I think you need to talk to your future spouse about this. What do they think? I can't imagine not having my parents at my wedding. I think you could always do a wedding here with a lot of Guatemalan influences, and then honeymoon in Guatemala?

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  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    This is an awesome idea

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  • E
    Devoted February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    The wedding is about you AND your fiance. His parents should be there, especially if your family is able and willing to travel to your hometown. Unless he has some awful relationship with them you should compromise and stay where that can easily attend.

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  • K
    Super September 2023
    Kimberly ·
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    What’s the situation with your parents/close family? Are they able to travel to your wedding? If the reason you want the Guatemalan wedding is to be surrounded by your loved ones who wouldn’t be able to make it to your hometown, then I see how that would be devastating for you to not have them. I agree with the people who are asking if you can do two celebrations? Otherwise it seems like one family will be left out if neither family can travel. What has your fiancé said?
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  • Michael
    Rockstar October 2023
    Michael ·
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    The detail was left out which relatives might be in Guatemala. If your primary relatives are in the States, that is a useful detail.

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  • W
    Dedicated June 2022
    Whitney ·
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    If you decide to elope, then Guatemala would be fine. Otherwise, I'd say no.

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  • Jenny
    Just Said Yes February 2024
    Jenny ·
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    . Thanks everyone for the responses. The two of us had previously spoken about the idea a while back but it was very general and it was before his mom got sicker. More like daydreaming than talking actual reality. I was asking this question because I wasn’t even sure about whether to bring up that idea to him again in case it’s too hurtful. I may remind him that is was something I wanted but I’m convinced now it’s not a good idea to move forward with even a second wedding there although it makes me sad. He does not have a great relationship with his mother but he does have a good relationship with his dad and step mom. My parents are in the states and family in Guatemala would be able to travel here even my grandparents.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    If your family is able to travel easily, then it makes sense to have the wedding in the US. As Cece said, could you plan a fun party in Guatemala to celebrate?

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