In need of some encouragement

Awww I’m so sorry to hear this. That really sucks, and is quite hurtful of your sister. You don’t think she will be “over it” in a few days, or was this bigger than a Little disagreement. Sounds like you have accepted her not being there ☹️

If you do make that change, I would ask my bestie, and tell her I originally should have asked her, and I regret that decision. But that I would be honoured and so happy for her to step up to the MOH position (is she already a bridesmaid?) I may also say that I felt like I needed to include my sister in a big role, but clearly should have picked my closest friend ect.

You could also just have no MOH and just your bridesmaids.

Good luck, and happy thoughts your way!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much! She called me out of my name and said I was dead to her because I didn’t agree with something her boyfriend did. She’s NEVER said that to me. I guess it was bigger than a little disagreement. It’s already been a few days and she won’t answer my calls or texts. I’ll just have to accept the fact that she might just be out.


Thanks for the suggestion! I will definitely use what you’d aid when I ask my bff. She’s not a bridesmaid, we became friends after I got my wedding party together, and are now like sisters. I’m sure she’ll say yes without hesitation!

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Jeez, that’s awful, and what crap timing for you.

Good luck with everything and I’m sure your friend will say yes! And maybe this is all a blessing in disguise 🤷🏻‍♀️

I say keep ahead with a a bachelorette. Just a dinner out with the bridal party. MOH is an important title but just a title so I would not make her a MOH because like you said she will feel like sloppy seconds. She can still be by your side. I am so sorry this happened and I hope you and your sister mend things.

Wow, if my sister and I got into an argument she would still be there for the big day regardless that’s harsh. Is it over something that can be resolved? Can you guys just talk it out?

As someone who has had some family drama myself, I’m really sorry you’re going through this! Hopefully she just needs some time to cool off before you two can discuss things and work through the issues. I have said some things I regret in the heat of the moment, but even then “you’re dead to me” is extreme and you don’t have to share with us but it sounds like there’sa lot more to this issue than just something her boyfriend did that you didn’t agree with. Unfortunately, sometimes working things out takes a good month or longer in my experience, so it sounds like you’ll probably have to accept that she won’t be there. The timing really sucks, I’m so sorry!
Typically, I would be against asking someone else to be MOH, especially this close, but from what I understand you weren’t close with this friend when you chose your wedding party. I like the PPs suggestion, and if this is your bff I’m sure you’ve shared what’s going on with her, so it sounds like she would be a good person to support you on your day knowing how much pain this rift is going to cause. If my bff came to me in this situation, I would stand up with her in a heartbeat.
I hope you are able to mend your relationship with your sister, for now maybe you both need some space.

I feel you more than I can say. My sister was supposed to be my MOH. She is a recovering meth addict. She had been clean for 6 years. She is my best friend always has been. My wedding is oct 17th and almost all planning is done. Three months ago she started acting funny avoiding me, texts sounded like someone else was sending them. Flaking out on different things. I found out a month ago she is using meth again, 2 days ago I found out she is also using heroin. 3 months ago I was pissed and angry that I couldn't count on her she was planning both my bridal shower and my bachelorette. Today I couldn't care less I'm not having those. I just hope shes still alive on october 17th. The point of this is reconcile with your sister. It doesn't matter who was wrong just fix it. She is the only person in your entire life that will be your best friend unconditionally. You will ALWAYS Regret it if shes not there for the biggest day of your life.

I hope you guys can work it out

View Quoted Comment I’m not sure. She’s they type that when she’s says she’s done she’s done. I’ve tried calling and texting.. I’ve given her time to cool off but it’s been almost a week, and still nothing. Idk

View Quoted Comment Hey boyfriend was hitting her son because he knocked on the door to get his clothes.. we were all on vacation. He punched him, my nephew is 8 he is in his 30’s. Punched him in the chest... I flipped my sister took his side, and it turned into a huge deal. She chose Him over me and her family. Idk what’s gonna happen at this point I’ve tried reaching out to her multiple times but she’s ignoring me.

View Quoted Comment I’ve tried multiple times to reach out to her, but she’s been ignoring me and not responding. I just don’t know anymore.

View Quoted Comment If she has no issues with it, then it is perfectly fine. This is only an etiquette issue where you think the replacement person will feel slighted by not being in the first choice. When you truly have become closer to a person since first choosing the BP is a time that it is nice to add a person whether or not you have lost someone. Should you make up your sisterly spat, there will be 2 MOH, the new one does not get dropped.
🙃🙂I have 4 sisters. Part of the reason we get along so well for weddings, is we were raised to think being in each other's weddings would lead to trouble. It is hard that her FI, best man, is presumably your groom's close friend. I hope you make up, sooner or later. Over time, where your spouses will be closest friends, you will need to set agreed boundaries that say certain things do not past the line from sister to sister, stay in couple no matter how much you want to share. And other things stay between the guys, or between you and your sister. Not passed to hus and or wife. It will be an adjustment. I hope that at least on the surface, you do patch things up before the wedding, whether she walks with you, or is a guest, with her honey as Best Man and the bride as her sister.

Wow that is awful! Cry or whatever you need to do to feel better. Considering the situation, definitely ask your bff to be your MoH. Take it one step at a time from there.


Hopefully your relationship with your sister improves with time. Let her be for now and focus on you and what you need.

This is unbelievable!
Your nephew was punched in the chest and you’re “heartbroken” your sister hasn’t returned your calls??Is no one concerned that your nephew was being hit and PUNCHED by a person who has access to him?Is your nephew ok?Was a report filed?Is he safe?Is your sister safe?DO SOMETHING TO HELP HIM!

CPS and police need to be called asap for the child's safety. Put the wedding planning on hold until that is taken care of.
If the boyfriend has no qualms beating a child with no way to protect himself, imagine that she suffers abuse too and it doesn't start out of the blue either. But typically those people will always defend the abuser and isolate from the family who cares about them.

Sorry that happened. If the plans are set, I’d continue with the bachelorette party and also not “promote” a bridesmaid to MOH just because. It’s really not necessary.

View Quoted Comment Well that's not okay!
Is her fiancé still going to be in the wedding? Has your fiancé talked to him about any of this?

I think you should ask your friend to be your new maid of honor by using what Michelle said. Your friends and whoever else were planning to go to your bachelorette party probably still have that day free, so you should do something with them without your sister, it will be more fun without her anyway given the way she's treating you at the moment.
Do you have parents or other siblings who can check on your sister/her son? I'm sorry you're going through this and it completely makes sense that you're asking for advice about the wedding related aspects of this situation, but I'm also now worried about this child.

I completely feel for you, so sorry you are going through this! I had a similar situation with my sister except it was on a family trip when I was trying to ask her to be a co MOH. She blew up and left early and hasn’t spoken to me since. She won’t return any calls or messages at all.
Thinking from that perspective, you don’t have much time to fix the relationship. Hopefully it happens, but you can’t count on it. While normally you shouldn’t replace MOH, this is one of the few times I think it is the best thing to do. Friends understand the obligation to include family, so I’m sure your bestie know she was always in a special role for you and hopefully she is happy to step in!
I hope it works out for you!

View Quoted Comment I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I lost a boyfriend to suicide who struggled with heroin addiction for years. I know the toll it takes on the loved ones. Sending good energy your way ❤️

I’m sorry your going through this. I hope she can cool off and be there for you. I don’t know the details, but she sounds pretty cold hearted if she can say that to family. I’d move forward with just bridesmaids. Best of luck to you.