In Urgent Need of a Handfasting Vow Renewal Celebrant!

In perfect love and perfect trust! 🖤

Hi Christina, have you tried using the "Vendors" tab here on WeddingWire to search for an officiant? I know a lot of officiants are willing to work with couples from all religious/spiritual backgrounds

I'm sorry your plans have fallen through, but I can definitely understand a vendor choosing to take a paying client over a non-paying client. To me, this isn't a personal attack on you or your religion or customs; it's just how real life works.

So, that said, the advice for any couple in this position (suddenly not having the funds to pay for a planned event) is to push the date back, find some way to cut expenses, or bring in extra cash. I sincerely hope you and/or your partner can find a temporary job (babysitting, catering server, Uber, etc.) to make up the lost money. And if there is anything you are planning to have for your event that you can cut without losing more money, I would prioritize your officiant over any decor or extras.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Had you put down a deposit? Since this will not be a legal ceremony, do you have someone in your community that can perform the handfasting? We were legally married in my wife's faith and handfasted by our good friend who did not need to be licensed. Is that an option for you?

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Hello and thank you for responding, that is actually an excellent idea, it would be a lot more memorable if one if your friends could help us recommit before our higher power. I will start asking around, is there a specific way in which you requested your friend's assistance? I know it can seem like a daunting task, and I don't wish to seem rude or out of place in this situation.

As per the deposit, it was non refundable. But that is fine with us, we would much rather not deal with any possible negativity that could arise from seeking a refund further.

Thanks again for the very helpful idea. Happy holidays and blessed be!

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Thank you so much for replying and reminding me that infact I shouldn't take this as personal, that really helps to relieve some frustration at this moment. Thank you for sympathizing with our situation. It find encouragement In your suggestions and kind words, as I do appreciate any feed back that makes me certain we can pull this off. Thanks again, happy holidays and blessed be!

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Hi Amber! Thank you for your response, yes indeed ai actually got that vendor from WedddingWire suggestions and he was very accommodating at the start, that is why I was a little taken aback at his last contact email. I was at first reluctant to find another officiant thrunthe site, but I decide to give it another try and I actually found someone very open minded and willing to partake in my event. I will be meeting with her next week, and she is also giving us a much needed courtesy discount for her service. I hope it is a good fit for both parties. Wish me luck!

Thanks once more, happy holidays and may you be blessed!

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I'm so glad you've found someone, I hope the meeting goes well!

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We simply asked him. We let him know that since I am an officiant we would write most of the ceremony to take that load off his shoulders, but asked if he could write something personal and funny to begin the ceremony. You may want more of a ritual feel, we wanted that line between emotional and funny and he delivered in spades for us! We all met together to discuss what my wife and I wrote for him, and to practice the handfasting portion, so when the day arrived it was absolutely perfect. If you're not comfortable writing your own ceremony, and the person you choose isn't sure what to say, there should be examples online or in books specifically for handfastings. I still like to reference these from time to time when writing my ceremonies. I hope it works out as well for you as it did for us. Blessed Be!

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After a good discussion, she seems very promising! Thank you for the tip and well wishes! Happy Holidays!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for your response and advise. I did reach out to him suggesting what helped you at your own handfasting. Unfortunately he was adamant; he can't incorporate any pagan aspects to his weddings. Well, I really feel confused in regards to this, because as you may know the handfasting ceremony is as pagan as the pine tree. I am broken between feeling flattered as a pagan for him to offer the tradition to couples, as it is a truly beautiful, symbolic rite. But another part of me wishes our traditions would be regarded with more respect, and that wouldn't be selectively torn apart so that only bits and pieces fit into the appropriations of these into other religious ceremonies, as it has been done for centuries.
Ultimately, I am very thankful that he was honest and accepted that ihe wasn't comfortable or fit to be the bridge between us and our deities on such an important day for us. I have to respect him for that.
On a more positive note, I did find a Unitarian Universalist officiant who is very willing to accommodate our requests and seems truly enthused to learn more about the pagan handfasted. The openness to regard our ceremony as a valid, important event is truly appreciated.Thanks again for your tips and hope you have a many Yultide blessings!

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We were lucky to have someone in my pagan community that is close to my wife as well since she is not pagan, but she respects me, my beliefs, and our friends that that share those beliefs. I have seen the handfasting referenced in history as a way to be married without having to wait for the magistrate for a legal recognition. I always assumed it was more of a cultural tradition vs a religious one. In fact, my wife had a handfasting in her very Irish Christian first wedding without even knowing what it was or meant. She had no idea until I saw pictures of the ceremony and I gasped to see she had been handfasted by the priest. Back then the weddings, especially in a church, were not so customizable so she just went with it. Once I explained the symbolism and importance to me, she was excited to make it a part of our wedding celebrations.

I can certainly understand your frustration with the officiant. We had a difficult finding someone to perform our legal ceremony since we are two women. I admit that while I have done a bible reading, and one non-denominational prayer, I would feel uncomfortable doing a deeply Christian ceremony as a pagan officiant. More because I would feel like a fraud than for an aversion to the religion itself. I'm glad you found one willing to incorporate the handfasting and it's significance to you.

Happy Yule!