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Savvy September 2023

Incorporating my fiancé’s 2 step-sisters (10 & 11)

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Sophia, on August 16, 2022 at 9:13 AM

I wasn’t planning on involving my fiancé’s 2 young step-sisters (10 and 11 yrs) other than them being invited, but this weekend When talking to my future step-MIL I made the mistake of saying “well I’ll have my 2 sisters, my 1 SIL, and best friend” and she quickly said “you have THREE SIL, just saying…Not sure how you were thinking of involving them but they really love you & are really excited.”
So yeah, no pressure or anything 😂
I love the girls & have a good relationship with my future FIL & future step-MIL But I really don’t want her or the girls in the room with me getting ready (I’m much closer to my fiancé’s mom than step-mom, so don’t want the step-mom more involved than my blood FMIL, either - & having them both in there is NOT an option).
I also don’t really want the girls standing at the alter either as my fiancé & I want it to just be his 4 & my 4 (planning a small wedding no bigger than 75 including the wedding party).I worry that if I make them junior bridesmaids, their parents will push to get them in the room w the wedding party beforehand & to stand up there with us (which honestly I don’t think the girls will enjoy standing up there for 15-30 minutes). But aren’t they too old to be flower girls? How do I involve them enough to avoid hurt feelings but also not have 2 kids & their mom in my hair?

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21 Comments

Dedicated July 2023
Rosalie · on December 3, 2022 at 4:41 PM
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You should ask them to see if they would rather be bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids, or guests (as long as you don't mind any of those choices). I've never got the concept of "junior bridesmaids", just as that other person said, it's sort of like saying "Hey, you're included, but you don't get to do anything". If you would rather have them be guests and not in your wedding party, stand your ground. Your MIL isn't in charge of your wedding. Also, they could be flower girls, there isn't really an age limit on that.
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