Interracial Brides/Couples

I'm Puerto Rican and FH is Portuguese. Some of his family members are racists but I dare them to say anything nasty to us or about us, FH would verbally destroy them. No joke, FH has a sharp tongue and they will be automatically removed from our lives. No question. Sorry, I despite racist people....I'm still upset Lol

Oh BlessedandFavored, I am so sorry. I am glad that you are so strong.

I went through the same thing in college and it was really difficult and awful. We lived in North Carolina at the time.

Then I heard a lot of stuff from the black community about how DH and I made the 'right' decision. Both of us were with wonderful blond hair, blue eyed SOs before we got together.

It is almost as if they think that everything they said was okay because we decide to 'marry in the race', but it wasn't a decision it was happenstance.

It is almost as if people don't understand, it isn't the race we love, but the person.

Oh none of those bigots are coming nor knows about our wedding. And that's what I mean @Christina its your own.

I am in an interracial relationship as well. I am white and my FH is black. Luckily, my family doesn't say ANYTHING about him or his race and his family is full of interracial relationships so it is pretty common in our circle. If I were you, I would X any and everyone who has ever voiced their issues with your race and mix with you FH and NEVER look back. They do not deserve to be in your life with those kinds of thoughts. Also, I would move out of the south to avoid my children to have to be "persecuted" for their mixed race.

It has nothing to do with being uninformed or ignorant. What is there not to know? It's two people of two different cultural backgrounds or skin colors who are together. Some people are just stupid.

I'm black and my FH is white. There are apparently racists in his family (most of the ones in mine are deceased or estranged, thank goodness) that I have never met and that he despises and refuses to be around. I've had guys ask me why I date a white guy, and I usually reply with something cheeky like "Oh, he's white? I didn't notice." I had an ex-friend accuse me of being racist because I "only date white guys" (her words, not mine) which I thought was stupid. I've dated (or at least crushed on) guys of all colors - Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern - so I have no idea how she even came up with that. My little sister joked once that I just have a thing for "nerdy guys named Matt", which is actually a lot closer to the truth. I don't care that he's white, I care that we have the same outlook on politics, religion, education, and family. I care that he's every bit a geeky and introverted as I am. We fit together like we were made for one another, and that's what's really important. People who are bothered by that are narrow-minded, and I feel sad for them. They might never find The One for them because they'll be too busy looking into their past to see the future that they could have together.

@Blessed, I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. I can only echo the comments made here, keep your head up and ignore top the best of your ability. I am in Phoenix, and I do think it exists in some way everywhere. FH and I get our share of stares, but nothing as bold as some of the comments I've read on here. I'm truly sad for the ignorance that exists.

And that's what I have come to the conclusion. No matter what region of the country or any country we live in, it will always be there. But he's happy, our boys are happy, and I'm ecstatic! Most people are like why do we say our boys. Well because he's there raising them along with me. My children know who their fathers are, but they also know they have another man besides the ones they are related to in their corner as well. So that's why we say our boys and they can't wait for him to be their 2nd dad. People in general hate to see others happy no matter what the standards may be. I have come to that conclusion.

This is so disheartening to hear. But racism is truly out there and who knows how long it will continue. I know we are making our strides, but it's slow. I think it's so much worst hearing comments made about you coming from your own race/ethnic group.

I'm Asian and my FH is Colombian/White (but he doesn't look Hispanic at all). I've never seen any stares or such from anyone when we walk around in public. If we ever do, I think it comes more from us going to a Chinese restaurant and FH being the only white person there. I don't know. Probably really comes from where we are from where interracial coupling is common. Maybe I just ignore it. But I've never had anyone ask why we are together, or come up to us like you have mentioned here. I don't know if FH has, I'll have to ask him now. This is interesting.

As you can see I am in a interracial relationship. When I went to go see him in Virginia we got a lot of glares and whispers. I noticed right off the bat but FH didn't. I am native/white but I am light skinned compared to other natives so people automatically think i am white. I wanted to say something to those people because that is just the person I am. FH stopped me and said just ignore them because if I react then I am giving them power over me. Which is so true. When he moved up here I was nervous because I come from a very small town where the population is 75% Native american (we live on my reservation) and some people here can be very racist. But we haven't had really any big problems. My family has taken him in and he's apart of a huge family and they have his back. We have to go to a neighbor town to get groceries and other supplies and it has alway been known as a racist town mainly against Natives but any race that isn't their own. It's very sad and as mad as it makes me I am sad for them. They are so blinded by the color of peoples skin that they can see what love is. It's 2015 and honestly there are a lot of mixed races out there now. Who cares what race he is, all I know is that he loves me and I love him and I cannot wait until I become his wife.

I am sorry you have to go through that. I had native guys asking why am I fucking up my native blood by being with this guy and that I need to keep our blood pure and what not because we are a rare race. That I need a Native MAN.. I looked right into their eyes and said well when you find a man let me know because only thing I see right now is a bunch of boys who will never know what love is.. now excuse me while i go kiss my MAN... left them speechless lol

sorry for rambling lol

It is disheartening. And when I really put more and more thought into it, it's also pathetic for people to feel that they can judge someone else because they're skin tones don't match. I mean with all the shit going on in the world, they're worrier about people they've never really known or met or people they don't give 2 fucks about them and will probably never see them ever again in their lives. Someone please for the love of Jesus explain this to me???!!!!!

My SIL and I had this discussion the other day, she was taken back that their are people out in this world still making a fuss about it. They can come up with all the excuses in the world but still it just shows what type of person they are. My fav excuse is "Well that's just how I was raised". Like really??? I had a rough childhood and what not but I am not out being a bad person, hurting people like i was hurt. No I grew up and I am making something of myself so I don't become a product of my environment. I strive to be better just wish more would think like that smh.

Lighthearted answer: Carry a boom box everywhere you go, and when anyone stares, play "Heartspark Dollarsign" really loud.

But that's the most stupidest excuse ever. Just because you were "raised" that way does not mean you should remain in that same mentality. I was raised by my grandparents, no parents, but I am raising my kids so much differently than myself.

@PK lol lol hahahhahaaaaa!!!!!! Right!!!! Or macklemore "One Love"

"Being raised that way" is such a BS excuse. My brother and I were raised the same way and he's said shit before (he has somewhat racist views on immigration, unfortunately) that has made me go "WTF is wrong with you?"

My point exactly!! @kahlcara

This is so sad to read! I live in Washington State and we don't really deal with any of that. My fiance is black and I'm white and I've never really thought about it. I think if you love someone, it really doesn't matter what color they are. Stay strong everyone, don't let these mean people get you down.

Thanks @MissJessica

As you can see from my picture, I'm black and FH is white. When we first started dating, we used to get A LOT of stares by but now not as much. We are in a suburban area of Chicago, mostly white. Not sure if it's because people generally aren't looking as much or we just don't give a shit! I'm sure if this was mentioned previously as I skipped a page, but I feel like as a black woman, we get the chewed out because we date outside our race. It fuckin sucks! Why can't we be with who we love without being questioned?! The double standard of black women dating someone outside of their race vs. a black man dating outside of their race is ridiculous! Luckily, FH's family accepted me from the start. I couldn't have asked for better in-laws! My family is the same way. They welcomed him with open arms and a shot of whiskey!! Pretty much, just fuck em and live your life. You have found the man that you want to be with for the rest of your life that your children love and nothing else matters!!

As you can see, I got a little heated on this thread, haha!!