Interracial Brides/Couples

I am sorry that you have to deal with that OP, and other ladies here. I don't have to deal with that in my relationship - I have puerto rican and white and FH is white, so unless it has to do with getting him to try a different food we are pretty "vanilla" - but my sister does. Her partner is a black woman, who is the most LOVING, COMPASSIONATE, HONEST, CARING, DRIVEN woman I have known.

I asked my sister, you know, does she ever feel mistreated or anything because they are a gay couple, and she said, "no, but more because we are an interracial couple" - and they live in San Jose, CA, grew up in the Bay area!

It BLEW my mind. and broke my heart for her. Both are strong women, but I guess, growing up in an area like the Bay, I thought people were so much more accepting of the melting pot...It made me really open my eyes as to what I can do and how I treat people and how I plan to celebrate all the diversity there is in this world and teach my children the same.

My sweet FH's ancestry is Jewish, and you can certainly see that just by his dark features and beautiful hair. I grew up in a very small town and I actually had no idea that there were still people who were prejudice against the Jewish. So, when we went to southern Missouri for the first time I introduced him and as one of his neat facts mentioned his familial ancestry is Jewish. (He was the only person I'd ever met that was Jewish and I think it's neat and thought they would too.) As you may have guessed they didn't exactly like that, but after they've gotten to know him they truly love him. We get funny looks sometimes when we're in public. He gets gorgeously tan in summer and I'm just pasty white all the time, and that's when it's most noticeable. Our old landlords always made jokes about him being "good with money" and actually asked him to look over their finances for them. It's ridiculous that we can't seem to get away from some of these set backs. Sometimes all you can think is "we've come so far, we're so close but we're not quite there yet."

BlessedandFavored- I can't imagine how hard it must be for you living down there. Your children are going to be beautiful! (Because they have beautiful parents who will love them for their cute little insides, and as little individuals as I'm sure your current children are.)

Kit- I can't EVEN imagine how frustrated you must have felt. If I were you, it's possible I would have gone to jail that night. Or at least been grounded from the diaper aisle after I shoved that women underneath the shelving and packed her in tight with diapers on each side.

Kudos to all of you ladies for keepin your cool!

While I hate that we all face this issue still in today's society I'm so glad that we have had this thread. It's comforting to know that other couples are facing similar situations. Like I said, FH encourages me to ignore it and not give them power of upsetting me but man it is so hard sometimes. We don't have this problem within our families, it is only with strangers on the street....but that kind of comes with the territory of living in the middle of China...

That's the hardest, getting the rift of it from your own race. But I have thick skin so it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

@Christina, when I was younger, my mother intentionally moved to a certain part of our city so that we would attend the predominantly white school. Because of this, my sister and I have been teased for talking/acting white.

@Liza, it is very frustrating. However, I became an EOD (equal opportunity dater) in my late 20's early 30's. In the beginning, I always felt the need to defend my relationships. However, as I've grown, I've taken on the motto:

“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” - Mark Twain

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” Mark Twain

My fw and I are not interracial, but we are 7 years apart and both female. When we lived in TN we had people assume I was her daughter! I do have a few cousins that married black spouses and they don't seem to have any issues. It was always just a non-issue. It probably depends where you live too. I think it's weird that you get stares, people wouldn't think anything of it here. It's pretty common. Much more common then same-sex couples anyways.

It is common @Angie. But they think or feel otherwise.

I have no words to describe how i feel about your post... this is terrible! i cant believe people in this day and age can still be so mean and racist! please please ignore these people, they are low class if they can say the things that they have! I am Caucasian and my fiance is middle eastern, he kinda looks Spanish to me and when I'm tan it really isnt that different i guess. But I do get asked ALOT about race issues like "omg does his family wear burkas?" (no they dont) " will he make you convert?" (no and he doesn't practice religion) est est. So I can kinda see what your going through but not really. Mine is regarding culture while yours is regarding color. I am so sadden that still in 2015 people are judging others by skin color. let me say this tho.. you will make some gorgeous babies as mix race babies are the cutest! Tar babies? that actually made me throw up in my mouth. IF I HEARD THAT I THINK I WOULD FREAK OUT ON THOSE PEOPLE! but my mom always said people with those view point wont chance they are low class and they will remain so, so be the better person, ignore this, be strong with your husband and show that your marriage is more then what color you and your husband are its about the LOVE you both have! i wish you only the best and i truly feel for you. please keep your head held high you have tones of support on this site! <3

That's awful! I can't begin to imagine what that feels like. We live in northern VA so for us it's just mostly minor international cultural differences and first world problems, but nothing close to what you're going through. It's easy to say to just ignore the ignorance of strangers but that doesn't stop it from hurting, sometimes a lot.

I'm Hispanic/Italian and am really dark in the summer. My husband is Scottish. I honestly didn't even think twice about how we are perceived by others until we lived in Alabama last year. I used to buy my dog food from a local back country feed store there, and the dead silence and stares we got when my husband walked in with me one day was hilarious.

You'd think folk would be past this in 2015, but apparently ignorance is still alive and well.

FH and I don't experience these issues in day-to-day where we live (big city, lots of folk from over the globe) as he's white and I'm (for all intents and purposes) white.

However, where we're from is a rural but close community so my background wasn't exactly a secret. There are still folk who give him stick for marrying a "dirty gypo" (usually from schemeys who haven't washed in a month) and act as if I'm inherently a criminal just because of the stereotypes.

Only way I've found to deal with it (FH is finally able to do the same) is not giving it any attention and making sure to be stood tall/chin up. It's not ideal but it eats much less energy than paying heed to comments or arguing with stupid.

Bump

I am so sorry that you are going through this. FH and I haven't received many overt stares or comments. I'm African-American, FH is Caucasian, and we live in Georgia. There have been a few incidents where people have displayed their ignorance. For instance, it annoys FH if someone asks if it's one check or two if we got out to dinner. Then when he says "one" they act shocked like "Oh, they are together." This happens rarely but it is still upsetting. The other involved his former sister-in-law who once said that we should think about our future children and how they wouldn't fit in anywhere ( I wasn't there at the time). Excuse me, but our future children will be perfectly fine and will be awesome just like their parents. You have to ignore the ignorant and display your love with confidence.

Thank you all. And yes the do that to us as well MP2MP. I'm like its one check. It used to irritate the Jesus out of me but like others have said, you can't fix stupid.

So frustrating!!! My fiancé is black and we get stares sometimes. Stares I can handle but I feel sorry for the person I ever hear make comments!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. We lived in Texas. DH is Asian and I'm white. I suppose people stare at us, but I don't notice and no one has ever said anything about our relationship. Like PP, it is sad that this is 2015 and people just can't love who they want to love (male, female, black, white, brown, etc.)

It is ridiculous. Like can people just live?! No one but God has the right to judge anyone.

My ex is mixed (his mother is white and his father is black) and we never got any looks that I noticed, but my mom's boyfriend is black, and he says they get looks all the time. I can't wrap my head around that, I don't understand why anyone would have a problem with two people loving each other!

Cause they're ignorant!

I know, I just wish they wouldn't procreate and teach their children to be just as ignorant. Though as someone else said, "growing up that way" is no excuse