Hi,
My FH and I got engaged in December and are trying to figure out where we'd like to have our wedding. We've been at an impasse for months and I honestly don't know what else to do at this point to help me make our decision...which is why I'm on this forum, seeking insight.
When my FH and began our initial discussions about our wedding, we realized a lot of the people we would invite are casual friends who we really wouldn't need to have there. However, if I'm going to have a wedding in my home city (Atlanta), I wouldn't want it to be super small and would want a big party with a band, open bar and the whole deal.
As an alternative, I jokingly threw out the idea of having an intimate destination wedding with only the people we really care about, and my FH really latched onto that. Italy was the destination that made the most sense, as I had studied in Florence in college and my FH and I both come from Italian families. As we researched, we discovered that it'd actually be cheaper to have a 20-30 person wedding in Italy than it would be to have a 110 person wedding in Atlanta, and that includes everyone's accommodations in Italy.
And that brings me to our impasse: Do I want a small wedding in a location that bears more importance to me or do I want a more traditional wedding in Atlanta?
The biggest downside I see to Atlanta is that I worry that I will be so stressed about making sure everything goes right and that I talk to everyone that I won't actually be able to enjoy my wedding. That's a common piece of feedback I hear from people who have more traditional weddings, and I would really like to feel like our wedding is about us and our day.
The biggest downside I see to Italy is that some of the people I would want there (like my grandmother and possibly a few important aunts) wouldn't be able to make it. I could end up with only 6 people from my side (my mom, dad/his girlfriend, sister and 2 friends) which makes me a little sad, tbh. I would extend an invitation to all of my extended family, but based on everyone's financial situations, the ones who would be likely to come would be the ones I wouldn't necessarily want to hang out with. However, it'd be a more relaxed wedding than Atlanta and I feel like we'd probably be able to enjoy our time more.
To complicate matters even more, my FH and I live in NYC now, so we're going to be planning this from afar no matter what we choose. There would just be less decisions to make in Italy.
While my FH prefers Italy, he's made clear that he wants to do whatever would make me happy. Family and friends have also made clear that they want us to do whatever is best for us. But if I knew the answer to that, it wouldn't be taking me 3 months to make a decision, so I kind of wish someone would give us a concrete reason to choose one over the other.
I really feel like I'll never be able to make a decision, but we need to decide in the next week or so because venues for our preferred dates in both locations are going to start to fill up.
If anyone who has had their wedding or is currently planning their wedding has any relevant insight, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks! And sorry for the novel.