Intimate Wedding

Well the only thing that I see to be ok about the pandemic is that it is a little easier not hurting people who aren't inviteds feelings. You just use the pandemic as an excuse for the reason why you are having such a small wedding and most people are understanding. But there are some people who no matter what the situation is no matter what is going on in the world they will still be hurt. It's something you won't be able to avoid completely. We are only having 50 people and we just told everyone else who we aren't inviting that it's a small family event. And that we'd absolutely love them to be there but with the pandemic we just can't have a lot of people like we'd love to have.

Pick whomever you can't imagine the day without for your guestlist and send announcements to the rest. You really can't stop people from feeling hurt but hopefully they respect your decision.

I agree with Katie. Use the pandemic!

View Quoted Comment Even if its not until 2022? I hope we won't be dealing with it still!

My advice has nothing to do with the pandemic. Make your plans with confidence and invite only those people you truly want there. As long as you are polite (e.g., not talking about how fun the wedding is going to be in front of people you aren't inviting), know that you are doing nothing wrong by having a small guest list.

That said, people still might get their feelings hurt. You can't control or prevent this. But that still doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. It is literally impossible to please everyone. You need to make the decisions that suit you and your future spouse, with consideration made for anyone who is helping to pay for the wedding. Everyone else will just have to learn to move on with their lives.

And whatever you do, don't make the mistake of trying to include the non-wedding guests by inviting them to a shower or any other pre-wedding parties. That doesn't actually accomplish what people think it does. Far better to be consistent and fair with your small wedding plans.

View Quoted Comment No guarantees even in 2022! It’s your wedding & your vision. You & your FH want a small, intimate wedding than have your wedding of your dreams!
I have a big family, his side not so much & we have a ton of friends. He’s a firefighter & I work at a hospital. If we invited all my family, his family & our friends, we were looking at around 250+. That’s definitely something we didn’t want nor could we afford. We wanted that small, intimate vibe. We cut the list, then cut some more. We’re opting for a no children ceremony/reception which cut the list more. My siblings have older kids & most are married or have partners- had to tell my siblings that they & their spouses are invited but as far as their kids are concerned they aren’t invited, explaining that we wanted a small wedding plus we just couldn’t afford it. They understood- this was before COVID was even on the radar.

We had the most magical, intimate wedding in Sept after our planned moderate sized wedding that was supposed to be in May. We obviously only reinvited 20 guests and a few people said stuff to us because they seemed hurt and offended; but it is what it is. 1. Pandemic 2. It’s what we wanted... so I could care less about hurting a sensitive person. We had it exactly how we wanted it 🤍🤍🤍🤍

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%. There is nothing shameful about having a small and intimate wedding. If someone is upset they aren't invited, then that is just something they have to cope with.

I agree with others about using COVID as the reason. That's what im doing. And I'll only be having 3 guests.

There isn’t much you can actively do to avoid some hurt feelings, but when you do have friends and family outside of your intimate circle ask about the wedding, be honest. Let them know that you are having a very small event and unfortunately will not be able to include many of your friends. Having been on the other side, it feels much better to know early on not to have any expectations rather than to be waiting and questioning your friendship.

You don't have to use COVID. You just have to remember you can't control other people's feelings.

If people are rude enough to ask why they aren't invited (and don't get me wrong, that's a RUDE thing to ask), you can always say, very simply, that you are keeping it small. That's the end of the explanation.

You do not owe anyone an invite.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree with Rebecca!


We had an amazing micro-wedding (15 guests) and a local reception later. It was very easy to say we had decided on a destination micro-wedding, if someone asked which only friend did. We invited only a few family members and a few drama-free friends. “We’re keeping it very small, mostly family, and the guest list is set” works fine. But most people won’t ask.