invitation start time vs. ceremony start time

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I also did this. Guests were invited to arrive at 5pm. The website (where our RSVPs will be done through so everyone has to go to it) clearly states that 5pm is the arrive and mingle time and the ceremony will start promptly at 5:30pm.

Why? Your guests may not know how big your wedding is going to be, and what the parking/bathroom situation looks like - YOU know because you've been planning this for months, but they don't. I plan to serve fruit infused water and print somewhat-amusing programs, but I foresee some of my international guests as appreciating the time to catch up with those they haven't seen in a while, plus my wedding is on a Friday and the traffic is REAL.

I also expect the people who show up early to be the type of people who went through the website and noted the actual start time, and the people who might run late to be the people who would have missed it.

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THIS. yes.

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THIS. yes.

We had a 4pm start time and on our website (which was also referenced on our invitations) we said that guests should arrive no later than 3:30-3:45 so they could park and be seated, and that the ceremony would start promptly at 4pm. I think we did run a few minutes behind, but in my opinion I think it’s better to be honest about start time and give them the heads up of when they should arrive.

I absolutely am doing this. I don’t trust my family or his to show up on time.

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You're not being "misled," you're being helped. Arriving "on time" to a wedding is arriving late...you need to be able to park, figure out how to navigate the venue, find your seat, finish any texts or social media scrolling, put your phone away, and then quiet down for the ceremony to begin. The day isn't about you, it's about the couple. It is completely normal and has been part of wedding etiquette since the dawn of time to ask that guests get ther 30 min early to give enough time to figure everything out without ruining the ceremony by holding everyone up or barging in late. Our coordinator said that our "pre-ceremony seating and music starts at 4:30pm and the wedding ceremony starts at 5pm sharp" and therefore instructed us to put 4:30 on the invite. Again...this is how it is SUPPOSED to work and has always been done.