Invitation Wording

Why are they having people arrive 45 minutes early?

I'm confused. What are they going to do with the people who show up at 3 (or 2:45 if it was me, I'm early to everything) but the ceremony doesn't start until 3:45?

If the invitation says 3:45 people will know that means the ceremony starts at 3:45.

I would be super pissed if I had to sit there for an hour because as an adult I couldn't be trusted to show up on time.

Honestly, I have no idea why but I'm sure she will properly host anyone who arrives early. She has been to and helped plan several weddings and knows how they work. If they're inviting people to arrive early, those guests will have something to do.

I agree though that 3:45 should be the only time on the invitation. My question is just how to make it clear that is the ceremony start time. If anyone looks at both the website and the invitation they'll probably get confused which means more questions directed at her.

I don't think you need to put anything. Some people will show up super early, some will show up 2 minutes before the ceremony, and some might miss it. Our invitation said 5:30 p.m. and we started the ceremony at exactly 5:30 p.m. Our first guest showed up at 4:45 just because he wanted to. Others rushed in right before the processional and since it was a Friday afternoon, I know a few couldn't make it.

I think just put the actual ceremony start time on the invitation.

If I received an invite that said 3:45 I would assume that was the start time, as would most people. You could say "doors open at 3" if you wanted to include that but it seems like a bit much to me.

Then she should change the website to say 3:45, not 3.

Like I said, if the invitation says 3:45, people will know it means 3:45 is the START time.

I put 15 minutes earlier on my invites to give people a little extra time to mingle, and chit chat while they find their seats. But 45 minutes earlier is kinda pushing it.

Okay thanks. I'll just treat it as I would a typically timed wedding. I don't feel it's my place to talk her out of whatever she and her fiance have planned and I don't even think it's necessary. Out of everyone I know, she will handle it amazingly. They might be doing a pre-ceremony cocktail hour or something.

But I do appreciate the wording advice!

Hi Reese!!!! Great to see you

I'd try "The ceremony will begin at 3:45pm (or quarter to four o'clock in the afternoon, or however formal you're going), all are welcome to join us beginning at 3 for mingling and cocktails" or something like that!

Either that or use 3:45 as the only time on the invitation, and explain the 3-3:45pm time frame and activities on the wedding website! For me this would depend on if they are actively planning something for 3-3:45, or if they are just planning and accommodating for guests that arrive 20-30 minutes before the ceremony to make sure they are on time

You could say that "ceremony begins promptly at 3:45 pm".

All of the weddings we've been to, the invite time is always 30 minutes before the ceremony actually starts.

In some (typically more orthodox) Jewish weddings there's a whole thing that happens before the standard ceremony. Sometimes all guests are invited, sometimes only family. If everyone's invited, often the invitation will say "tisch/bedeken at 3" and then "chuppah at 3:45". (Chuppah is the standard ceremony we're all used to.) So if you do put it on the invitation (which I think would be courteous, especially to perpetually early people) I would note what the activity is/what to expect, and then say "ceremony at 3:45". Note-it's also common to say "chuppah promptly at 3:45".

Thanks again. Right now I've put "Ceremony to begin at 3:45 p.m." and told her I wasn't quite sure what she was looking for. I'll wait and see what she says.

Maybe something like "Guests welcome at 3:00. Ceremony to begin at 3:45"

I had a friend do something like this. She put on the invitation to arrive by 3pm and the ceremony will begin promptly at 3:30pm. Needless to say, people were really bored, it killed the typical "love" mood of a wedding, and to top it all off the ceremony didn't actually begin until almost 4pm! I highly do NOT recommend asking people to show up so early. If she is worried about people walking in as she is walking down the isle then maybe place a sign near the entrance asking people who show up late to please wait until the music stops to find a seat (or designate someone to stand there until she makes it to the alter).

Maybe your friend is doing something similar to what we are. Our ceremony behins at 8pm, but we are having a little welcoming reception from 7:30-8 where drinks and appetizers will be passed around. For us, the reasoning behind it is to allot for time taken by people who are seeing family and friends that they haven't seen in a while. That way they can get all their hugs, kisses, and "how ya beens" in without feeling rushed to sit down for the ceremony. Also, for us, our wedding is pretty late, so we want people to have some food in their stomachs before the ceremony ends at 8:30. Maybe your friend is doing something similar. I'm not putting 8pm on the invite since we would like for people to start showing up at 7:30.

Our invitations say 3 but our ceremony will not begin until 3:30. The venue did this on their own because of experience with late comers. Our ceremony is being held on the outdoor patio with giant fire place and just happens to be the entrance, so its more so people dont show up at 3:20 and walk through the processional.