Invite family that are out of state

Always plan for 100% attendance, both in budget and in venue space.

View Quoted Comment Yeah thats why im having difficulty on if i should invite them or what should i do if i dont invite them?

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In most cases it works best to invite in "circles" of closeness to you. Like all parents and siblings/spouses, then grandparents, then aunt/uncles, then friends of the family etc. What generally isn't received well is if you invite say one set of cousins but not the other set etc.

If they are really immediate family then you certainly can’t assume they won’t all come. I don’t see how you can exclude your out of state family on the basis of location or make assumptions without the risk of hurting feelings. I’d take a venue that is flexible in accommodating your estimated numbers give or take.

It’s not your place to decide for other people whether they will or are able to attend or not. Ask yourselves if you can’t imagine the wedding day without them. If that is the case they are your ride or die loved ones, then send a save the date and invitation. If they don’t fit that criteria and you don’t care if they attend and won’t miss them if they don’t, then don’t send anything. If you don’t want them in attendance because there is no relationship between you (even if you are related), but your parents do and your parents are not paying, then you and fiancé have the final say. Parents can pay for a family reunion picnic at an opposite time of the year unrelated to your wedding to host them.


Your wedding is not a family reunion if you make the decision it isn’t. It really is that black and white. It’s very common for people to be closer to some relatives than others and your happiness on your wedding day is not negotiable. Some people may not be close at all to a sibling/parent/aunt/uncle but they have an amazing relationship with an extended cousin who is not part of that particular “circle” that online communities say you must invite first before you even consider anyone else further out.
If someone wants to attend, they will decide to make the travel arrangements. You would be surprised how far away loved ones are willing to travel, no questions asked, when given an invitation. So it’s not appropriate for you to decide for them.

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If they are immediate family and haven't done anything wrong I would invite them. Why take the risk of hurt feelings?