Invite to a church wedding, but not reception?

Only invite those invited to the reception.

Guests must be invited to both. Your first step is to cut coworkers. You have to come to the realization that you simply can't accommodate everyone unless you wait and raise your budget.

Inviting people to come out and support your marriage but not hosting them is bad etiquette.

Only invite 100, which is a very good number.

You can have a super small ceremony (immediately family and a couple of close friends) and then have a larger reception.

But it sounds like your issue is that you just can't afford to host 100 people at the reception. If that is the case then trim down the guest list and invite the number of people you can afford to properly host. I know it sucks - not having everyone you want at your wedding - but it will suck more to invite people that you can't afford to properly host.

Its is rude inviting some to the reception and some not.

It is not rude to cut your guest list to properly host them.

You MUST invite everyone to both. The reception is to thank your guests for attending the ceremony. It is not for you.

If I went to a wedding and wasn't invited to the reception afterwards but other people at the wedding were going to the reception I would be SO PISSED! That is pretty rude. Everyone at your wedding should be at your reception.

Thanks for the comments!! We have already set save the dates to all! I didn't think about this until after we sent them. Now I have to figure out how to correct this HUGE mistake! I either have to set a higher budget or hurt a lot of people! #stressed

You cannot uninvite people, that is so incredibly rude. A tiered wedding is also very rude, I would be embarrassed and ashamed to face those people if I were in your shoes.

The reception is the thank you to your guests for attending your ceremony. It would be extremely rude not to invite everyone. Cut your list and properly host your guests.

Yeah that was definitely a big mistake but you'll just have to take it as a lesson learned! If you can, you and FH should seriously consider taking on second jobs and put those checks solely to wedding stuff. The holidays are coming around and literally everyone in retail/customer service will be hiring in the next few weeks. Even working an extra 10 hours a week can bring in more money than you'd think!

Y'all better get 2nd and 3rd jobs then. It's incredibly rude and offensive to not invite guests after you've already sent an STD.

This is why it's recommended to only send STDs to VIPs.

Ugh... you sent out those STDs and left yourself in a bind. There is literally NO way to correct that without hurt feelings except to raise your budget. How many people got STDs? Would it help if its an adult only event?

Thanks for the comments!

If a member at my church has a wedding, it's open to the entire church, but the reception guest is RSVP only. I think that's why I figure it ok because it's what I'm used to. It's hard trying to satisfy everyone and them wanting to come.

Can you change the time of day? You could make it a brunch or do afternoon cake and punch.

It;s one thing if your ceremony is open to uninvited drop-ins from the church, but you sent an STD to people. That means they need to be invited, and they need to be invited to both things.

@ Sailaway... The reception is adult only! Yeah huge mistake on my part.

@delfina... The reception is all inclusive so it doesn't matter about the time. I mean I could see about getting our deposit back, but we're set to host it there. We'll figure it out!

In my experience with church weddings like that, there's an announcement in the bulletin and since it's a public place of worship, anyone is able to attend. Invitations aren't mailed to all members. Then there's a simple cake and punch reception for all those guests. Then there might be a dinner later for just close family and friends. That's fine, but usually only done when the couple is prominent members of the church, like the pastors daughter.

By sending save the dates though, that would entail a formal invitation later, which means just one reception for everyone. There's probably ways you can downgrade some services and pick up extra retail work over the holidays to make it work.

Invite your guests to both. So rude.

The church membership is the only exception to this rule, and those people don't get STDS, one of my most hated wedding details. They are basically invites since, well, you're asking people to STD....

Even though I DO ceremonies, for many people that is the thing they have to endure to get to the party (and trust me, some of them are awful......) They have to be invited to both.