Invite to Jack&Jill but not the wedding?

I guess I figure if people like me enough then they'd want me at their wedding in addition to the festivities before. I cannot speak in regard to these being common in certain regions. It is certainly not common nor acceptable where I am from and I have never heard of them going well in other areas. However, as the user before me noted it would be prudent to understand the expectations of couples in your town as to what is accepted, suggested and necessary

So you should never host a jack and jill - they are just rude and tacky.

However you should definitely not invite anyone not included at the wedding to any pre-wedding parties

Ummm no. If you aren't invited to the wedding, you shouldn't be invited to ANY pre wedding events

So, if anyone was in my situation, would you say anything to them? Or just decline and move on?

I would decline and move on.

I've been invited to a jack and jill and a bachelorette party for different people who's weddings I wasn't invited. I went to the J&J only because all my old college friends were there and I haven't always been the best at keeping in touch but it was awkward when people were talking to me about being excited about the wedding and I wasn't invited. ETA I would personally politely decline and move on

I would never attend a jack and jill - I would decline and move on.

You should not be inviting anyone to any pre-wedding events that are not on the wedding guest list. It's super rude. I was also invited to a Jack and Jill for a wedding I wasn't invited to. The same bride also invited me to her shower (and I made food for the shower). I wouldn't have gone to either if I bad known I wasn't getting invited to the wedding.

Can someone explain what a Jack and Jill is? I'm kind of lost...

@Morgan C. I'm not 100% sure, but I was under the impression a Jack and Jill is for coulples who aren't having a Bachelor/Bachelorette party, but want a combined party? Idk.

A Jack and Jill is a party that you either buy tickets for or pay an entrance fee which goes to the couple. There is food and booze, but it is often a cash bar. Usually a raffle is involved and the money for that goes to the couple as well.

They were common where I'm from originally. I've never heard of one in Florida though. I really don't know who throws the party.

Hillary, all those people are being exceptionally rude. Feel free to decline. Just say, "I have plans!" even if your plan is to wash your hair.

How much money do you charge for entry?

Is this a nightclub or a wedding?

Omg that is rude AF!

Um no. Anyone invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding!

@Zoe M. I did decline! My FH was even quite put off himself. I have two kids, that's my excuse! Lol @Tina L. It's for a wedding, but not the actual wedding. One is charging $15 per person or $25 a couple and $10 for kids 10-13 yrs. The others are charging the same, minus the kid costs.

Its a fund raiser to raise money for the couple to have a wedding.

(I know this is totally old like 2016 but just in case someone sees)

I totally think Jack and Jills are great for couples. I have been to really great ones. Yes there was a charge to get in, but there were discounted drinks, my friends and amazing raffles!!

The cover charge is supposed to help the couple pay for the venue (where they are having the jack and jill), the raffles are supposed to be the money maker.

Don't ask for gifts. It is not that kind of party. The way you make money is you spend like (Depending on how many people you invite) like 1000$ on great raffle items and then sell tickets to everyone. Even sell tickets to people who might not go make sure they wright their name and cell phone number on the back of the other ticket so if they win you can contact them!
Think of it as a cool bar party with a give away. I knew exactly what I was walking into and it was still fun even if I wasn't invited to the wedding. Which I was glad because I didn't want to give a huge gift anyways to have fun.