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Beginner September 2019

Invited to a shower where the only registry is Honeyfund. Help?

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LaurenAOK, on May 1, 2019 at 1:53 PM

Posted in Registry 23

So I found lots of perspectives on this from a bride/host angle, but I’m a guest here and don’t know what to do.

A friend is getting married next month. We’ve already RSVP’d and planned to contribute to their honeymoon fund, which is the only registry on their wedding website.

A couple of weeks ago my friend told me that her MIL wants to throw a last minute co-ed shower for them. My friend didn’t originally want a shower but she agreed. The MIL did reach out and invite me and the shower is this weekend.

Issue is... the only registry is still the honeymooon fund, so I have no idea what to do for the shower. Do I just bring a card saying we’ll be contributing to the fund? Do I guess a gift and bring that? I texted the MIL to ask about a registry and all she said was “there is no registry for the shower but there is one for the wedding on the website.” Well the only one on the website is the fund so does that mean no one is bringing gifts to the shower? I’m so confused.

Im thinking of just reaching out to the bride and asking her directly what she prefers but that feels tacky. Help!

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23 Comments

Devoted October 2019
Gmm · on May 1, 2019 at 7:46 PM
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In my opinion, honeyfunds or anything similar is just tacky, I guess because I am a bit older, so much of what is out there now for the engaged, was not around 20 years ago when the majority of my friends were getting married.
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Beginner September 2019
LaurenAOK · on May 9, 2019 at 9:53 AM
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Thanks for all the responses everyone! Reading the different perspectives was helpful. As an update, I did end up directly asking the bride for clarification. She said definitely don’t bring a gift and MIL was supposed to tell everyone no gifts! So that cleared that up lol. I did what several people suggested and just bought a nice card and bottle of wine. The shower was a lot of fun with games and great food

As a side note, I don’t think honeyfunds or similar are tacky - it might be a generational thing, but I can appreciate the practicality of it. My fiancé and I have been working on our own registry and it’s actually difficult to register for enough items! We live in a 1 bedroom apartment and already have most of what we need. It feels like we’re asking for a bunch of stuff that will just take up space! I’ve actually thought to myself that a honeyfund or something would be way easier (we are sticking with traditional registry though).

Thanks again to to those who commented!
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Dedicated June 2017
Scarlett · on May 14, 2019 at 9:39 PM
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I was at a shower where the bride went down this route and got her something personalized (many other people got her random things and some people didn't bring anything). I think it was labeled more a "brunch" than a shower, but it was intended to be a shower. If you feel you absolutely need to give cash you could always deduct that amount from what you would give at a wedding (if your budget was 100, give 20 at the shower and 80 at the wedding).
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