Invites to after dinner reception

So you want to invite them to JUST the reception, not ceremony? Given the demographic you mentioned, I don't see a problem with that at all. I personally prefer to just attend the reception if I am not super close to the couple... the ceremony is just to "intimate" for me. But if I was your co-worker, i'd love to stop by for a drink and drop off a card (and would probably be a bit relieved to not be expected to spend an additional hour at a church/ceremony space). Send out the invitations WITHOUT ceremony info. If someone should ask about the ceremony, say that, due to space, invites were limited to family.

Nope - this is so rude. Also it won't likely save any money if this is the goal because you will have to tell your venue that you are expecting more people.

Is there dinner at your reception? Inviting someone to the reception only is generally ok if the ceremony is very small and intimate - i.e., immediate family only. But you said "after dinner", which makes me think you want this group to show up after a meal would be finished? That would be extremely rude. Will you clarify what your timeline is?

Emmy - Ohhh, I see now.... She is inviting people after the dinner has been served? Yeah, that's a little different.

OP- consider an "open house" for these friends when you return from your honeymoon. Have them over to your place for drinks and hor'deurves and an official champagne toast if you wish!

We thought about doing this too (for some of FH's hockey buddies, etc.) but the consensus was a resounding NOPE. When you think about it, you'd really have to let the venue know you're expecting extras for drinks. Plus, it is rude to say, "Hey, we don't want to pay for you to have dinner or watch us get married, but come get a drink and bring us a gift." (Even if you don't ACTUALLY expect them to bring gifts, it comes across that way.)

Invite them to the whole thing, or nothing at all.

No, she wants to invite them to the after party only....the continuation party after the reception.

There is no way to invite them without it being rude. The reason is because the after party is part of the reception...a continuation. It would be the same as saying you can't eat dinner with us, we don't want to pay for your plate, but you can come an hour later for the cake. It doesn't work.

I'd like to know who started this after party trend anyway, it's ridiculous.

Thanks for the response. I guess I didn't see it as extremely rude but good to know as I wouldn't want to offend anyone.

The goal wasn't to save money, it was to invite people to come celebrate, they would not be expected to bring a gift or a card, just themselves.

I guess we should rethink that idea since I would hate to offend anyone.

That is really odd and I've never heard of it. People just don't do that. The WHOLE POINT is the ceremony. Of course they would still want to see it!

Guys, she wants to invite them AFTER dinner, meaning they will only be allowed to come after the 'important' guests have finished their meals. This is so rude.

Please don't do this. It might sound good in theory, but you are going to offend people and come across as rude/cheap.

Can you confirm exactly what you mean? Is your dinner somewhere different than the dance reception? Is it in the same place? How many people are you inviting to the wedding and the dinner? Are you talking about an after reception party?

It was only a thought.. nothing set in stone. The idea was being tossed around and I wasn't too sure on it and I didn't want to offend anyone. So I thought I would reach out and ask for consensus nothing more. I am not trying to be rude, I am not that type of person but since this is my first wedding I didn't know if this was something people were doing now and if they were what was the approach on it when it came to acquaintances etc.

So thank you for the comments. I have my answer.

Also, in addition to what everyone else is saying (which I agree with), I don't know if any venue would be ok with missing out on the revenue, so your guest count would probably include these people and you'd probably have to pay for meals for them regardless if they were invited for the dinner portion.

If you would enjoy them at your reception, why don't you just invite them to the entire wedding?

That's how we did our guest list. Would we have more fun of this person were there? Yes? Okay, on the list.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

Thank you!! I wanted to do this as well but I didn't want anyone to feel bad. But some people are actually asking to come after but if I do I'll do like 3-4 people because at least that many won't show so they may be able to eat.

Not true. Most venues serve by plate, not by person. Unless you're having a per person open bar, inviting people to just the after party is a great way to save money. I don't find it rude at all. If someone get's their panties in a bunch, that sounds like a "them" problem to me.

Let me guess, you bumped this year-and-a-half-old thread because you're planning on doing the same rude thing?

Lol you seriously need to get your panties out of a knot. It's not rude as long as you're still feeding them (eg. a late night poutine bar and desserts). Honestly it's a great way to keep your ceremony and dinner intimate with just your family and 2 or 3 very best friends, while still celebrating and getting drunk with all your friends.

Nope, still rude. Don't tier your guests.