Invites to Reception Only??

Every social circle is different with what is acceptable vs offensive because what your family considers polite, someone else will find extremely rude and vice versa. In our area and family/friend groups, even those who live in other areas, it is offensive to not be invited to the legal ceremony and reception on the same day. Our families have been invited to reception only parties and they didn’t go over well at all, but other families have no issues with it based on various posts. When in doubt, always ask parents and other elders in your social circle what is acceptable vs rude because etiquette doesn’t change that drastically from one generation to the next.


Something people don’t seem to realize is that the ceremony costs next to nothing, but it’s the reception that costs all of the money, regardless of how large or small the budget is. For that reason, it makes no sense to invite people you have little or no relationship with to the expensive reception that costs $$ per person. Just send the random acquaintances an announcement afterwards instead. This is a variant of tiered guests (the A and B lists) which is impolite and hurtful. There is a reason why people strongly advise not to do it.
As far as timing, it depends on the venue. There is a strong persuasion to use all inclusive venues with the idea that others (blank slates and alternative venues that don’t specialize in weddings) can’t handle any logistics but the flip side of that is that you have a strict time frame to use that they do not negotiate on. Alternative and blank slates don’t have the same timing restrictions and some offer no curfew which all inclusive venues don’t. Unless you are doing a very simple cake and coffee only reception that lasts 2-3 hours max long enough for guests to socialize and for you to greet everyone and leave, starting that late will not work if you want to party. In the end, be prepared for many upset guests and loved ones if you tier them into separate classes.

This is acceptable by etiquette — you can invite people to the reception only, but not to the ceremony only. Some people may not like it and feel offended they don’t get to see the ceremony, but it’s okay by etiquette. I’d have two separate invitations and make it clear that it’s the reception only on those invites.

I'd be careful about doing this plan. Truly it seems to work if there are only a very small proportion of people attending the ceremony, so that the vast majority have reception only invites. If you start having a bigger proportion of people at the ceremony, there's more of a chance that people will feel slighted.

What you don't want is something like this:

Guest A: "Wasn't that ceremony lovely!"

Guest B: "What ceremony?"

Well, I think you do your guests a disservice if you think they care only about an open bar. If your guests are around your age (and mine), they're even more particular about their time and that has very little to do with free drinks. Moreover, I was an over 40 bride and found my loved ones wanted to celebrate my big life moments with me in their entirety and were even more willing to travel and take more time off. If you're really not that close to those on your "2nd tier", then don't invite them at all. What's the point of keeping obligatory friendships and sending obligatory invites? This may be how they feel when they learn they were not one of the priviliged friends at the ceremony taking place one hour earlier. Tiered weddings are not common for a reason. However, if you still want an intimate ceremony and a large party, then less offensive options are: a ceremony including immediate family only, a ceremony on a separate day, or a full elopement on a separate day.

While there’s nothing wrong with small ceremony and later, larger reception, I think it’s problematic a and can easily result in B list vibes when it’s same day, same venue.


For the reception you’d address invitations to “a celebration of marriage” which tells guests it’s reception only. For immediate family you can issue separate invitations or communicate individually. My sense from reactions I know about is that once you start inviting friends it can open a can of worms with extended family and other friends. People can understand immediate family but once you go beyond that there are invariably hurt feelings. If you go this route I wouldn’t post photos or say anything other than the ceremony was very intimate if asked.

Technically, I don’t think it’s an etiquette breach. Anecdotally, it goes over better if the celebration is delayed and worse if people are travelling a distance to attend and get wind of a ceremony that was very close in terms of timing.

I’m planning something similar! We’re going to have a 4pm ceremony and 7pm reception. I don’t want to do a first look, so we’ll use the 2 hours in between the two to take photos and have a private champagne toast. This gives plenty of space in case reception guests arrive early.

For the invitations, you could consider sending one invitation with details for the reception only and inform family/close friends of the ceremony details separately. For timing, having a 5 or 5:30 PM ceremony could help keep the events more separate and give you more time for the transition between the ceremony and reception.

I am doing something similar for my wedding on November 9th, 2024. Our ceremony will be family and close friends only (80) and our reception will have a guest list of 140. Our ceremony will bring at 3pm and cocktail hour will start at 4 in a separate area. We will take our time getting pictures and allow our ceremony and reception guests to settle in until we do our grand entrance at 5! I will be sending two separate invitations, although they will look the same aside from one including ceremony details and the other including only cocktail hour and reception details.

If you're going to do this, I recommend doing the ceremony and reception on different days. This is a slippery slope.

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I agree with Sara, Saylordavidson. You're now having a "tiered" wedding, where some guests get treated differently than others. That's not great etiquette. Please look at my other comment to see how this is problematic. You're essentially excluding half of the guests from the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Our reception is at an entirely different venue. We don’t want more than family and our bridal party at the ceremony. The guests at the reception will be extending out further than our closest group. We have also discussed the decision with people in our lives and everyone is supportive! At the end of the day, it is your wedding and no one else’s ❤️

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Except when you involve other people it's important to consider their needs and feelings.

View Quoted Comment Lol I am doing something similar to the OP but we will only have under 10 people at our actual ceremony; our parents, and then a few other immediate family members. I have told those few other family members to be extremely discreet about attending the ceremony in order to avoid situations exactly like the above!

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This is the best way to handle this. A widely used suggestion is that less than 10% of the total guest list should be invited to the ceremony, so that people don't get offended by not being asked to both. No-one likes to feel excluded.