Invites/rsvp question

I would push back on your vendors a bit - there really shouldn't be any reason they need a strict count a whole month before. If they won't, I would set your RSVP at 5 weeks prior and start contacting people right after the deadline. That gives you a week to track everyone down which should be plenty!

Invites are sent 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Any earlier and they will be lost and forgotten. Replies are generally due back at 3-4 weeks, with a few days following to track down anyone who forgot. There is no reason vendors need a final count before 4 weeks.

It is really VERY early to send invites out now and honestly will only lead to bigger headaches down the road. I absolutely do not recommend sending them now. “Early” but within the realm of reason would be 10-12 weeks out. If you did not send save the dates, I would consider sending a quick emailed save the date now, if you are concerned about people being able to make travel arrangements. If you did send a save the date, don’t sweat it. Don’t need to go crazy with a separate mailing now, but an evite or something could do the trick to communicate date and direct people to additional travel info.


If your final numbers are due 4 weeks before the event, I’d ask for rsvps by 5 weeks before the event. Any earlier and again you’ll find challenges of people not being able to answer yet or people that gave an answer that then want to change it. (If you send invites now, people might rsvp now, even though they don’t actually know for sure if they can make it yet, with their changing fall schedules)

Did you send out save-the-dates / do most of your guests already know when and where your wedding will take place? I'd hold off on sending invitations until 10 weeks before (no sooner or they'll just get misplaced) and set the RSVP deadline to 1 week before your caterer needs your guest count - most people will have their RSVPs in by then, especially considering they'll need to make travel arrangements, and you shouldn't need more than 1 week to track down the missing RSVPs.

My wedding is September 11th 2021 and I sent mine out 11 weeks early. My fiancé’s family lives in Philadelphia and New Jersey and our wedding is about 300 miles away from them so I sent them early. My vendors wouldn’t push back the date they need to know from 4 weeks before so I put on the cards 2 weeks before that date so that I could text people who didn’t respond. Hope this makes sense!

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I did send out save the dates, so everyone is aware when and where the wedding will be. I just wasn't sure on the rules for sending out invites and requesting back RSVP's for destination weddings. Thanks for your advice, I definitely think I'll hold off on sending out invites this early. I'll probably wait until around the first or second week of august so its around 10-12 weeks. I'm not sure why my vendors need the final numbers that early, (I wasn't aware that wasn't normal) but I'll ask if they'll be more lenient about it. Thanks!

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Yes this makes sense! Thank you! I think I'm gonna hold off until around 10-12 weeks to send out invites and I'll request RSVP's back about 1 week ahead of the final count needed for my vendors. Thanks!

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I did send out save the dates, so everyone is aware of where and when the wedding will be. I'm definitely the kind of person who likes to plan ahead, so I think I assume everyone is like that as well. But after reading responses, I've realized it will end up causing me more issues if I send them out to early. Thanks!

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I honestly thought it was normal for vendors to need the final count a month before. But I'll definitely talk to them and see if they can be a little more flexible on the date. Thanks!

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I honestly thought it was normal for vendors to need the final count a month before. I'll talk to them and see if they can be more flexible! Thanks fo the advice, I definitely see now that waiting to send out invites and requesting RSVP's closer to the date is better.

View Quoted Comment Your welcome!! Yes I would do that, I know they aren’t supposed to go more then 8 weeks but with everything opening back up everyone was asking the fiancé and I about it and it was so much easier to just send them out instead of answering the same question over and over again, plus they were asking so they could book vacations and some people weren’t patient enough and booked the same weekend as our wedding🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m glad I was helpful to you tho!! Your welcome!

Did you send save the dates? If so, 6-8 weeks is still fine. If not, I’d sent invites between 8-9 weeks.
I have never heard of vendors needing a final head count 4 weeks before a wedding. 2 weeks is typically. We asked for RSVPs back 3 weeks before. That gave us an extra week to follow up with any laggers and have our headcount to vendors 2 weeks before our wedding.

Same Wedding Date here! I am sending my invites out in the next 2 weeks so that my guests can have the month of August to RSVP and get them back to me before my final head count for catering is needed 30 days out. My cut off date is September 1st for RSVP so it will leave me with 2-3 weeks to chase the remaining down I don’t have!