Inviting cousin woes

I would either invite all cousins or none of the cousins rather than picking some of others. It could easily come across as you playing favoritism.

I agree , I would invite all cousins or none.

I don’t think it has to be all or nothing. I think if you have a close relationship with some cousins and no relationship with others, it makes sense to just invite those your close to. That’s not what you did though. Inviting cousins if they live at home is a weird rule and it absolutely does separate people. You should have stuck to your guns and not invited any cousins if that’s what you wanted.

This seems like an odd boundary to me. You definitely are splitting families if you're inviting a 17year old becuase they live at home, but not their 19 year old sibling who's away at school or something. How many cousins do you have that inviting them all would create such a huge event?

View Quoted Comment Yeah as the 19 year old away at school, I would feel really sad/left out and excluded if my siblings got an invite and I didn’t. Conversely as the 17 year old at home, I wouldn’t have been particularly bothered if none of us “kids” weren’t invited . You never have to invite “everyone who lives at home” if you don’t want to. We didn’t invite kids to our wedding so there were plenty that were left at home or with some sort of sitter.


THAT said, if you already invited the younger cousins, I think the course correct is to invite the older ones as well— easier and kinder than trying to back pedal and revoke invites that were already extended.

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Agree with this assessment 100%

View Quoted Comment The cousins who are not living at home are all over 21 and living with significant others...ie have been living away from home for a while. I guess we thought it would be appropriate for our small wedding.

View Quoted Comment Cousins and then inviting husbands/wife’s and children. It would be about 20 people.

View Quoted Comment Well I didn’t stick to my guns because of family input and now I’m in this situation 😭

Oof, I would have done all or none. Especially if you're splitting sibling groups, that's a no go.

Agree with PPs this is very very very odd ... I'd backtrack and include all of your cousins. Inviting only those who live at home just doesn't make sense and is bound to offend people. For example: my younger sister lives at home with my parents. I would be super offended if she were invited to my cousin's wedding but I was not simply because I don't live at home

All cousins or no cousins is really your best bet. You don't want to split up families with an arbitrary "who lives where" rule

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You wouldn't have to invite your cousins children. There's nothing wrong with that. I still just think it seems odd to invite some of your cousins and not all, simply based on where they live.

Once your grown cousins are over age, living on their own, for invitations they receive their own. And you may invite parents or younger family without these grown kids, or may invite these grown kids without their parents, or younger kids. They are now separate households.