Inviting half-siblings to tiny wedding

I don't think it's wrong of you not to invite them since you said you're not even close to them.

i have two half siblings who i have never spoken to other than like a few times i've met them and they aren't in my life like that, so i didn't invite them to my wedding either.

I would say that half-siblings count as immediate family so saying immediate family only implies that they should be invited. If you don't want to invite them that's totally a personal choice, but it could definitely cause tension.

I see my stepbrothers as immediate family. But we are around the same age and spent time together growing up.

If you don't have a relationship with them, there's nothing wrong with only inviting them to the bigger gathering later. Your dad has to understand, while they are his kids, they are not people you look at as family. It's unfortunate, but you're not the only person in that situation. Talk to your dad, explain it to him. Hopefully he can understand.

I agree that if you don’t have a relationship with them you shouldn’t feel pressured to invite them. Maybe don’t word it “immediate family,” because as a PP said many people would include half-siblings in that group. We’re telling everyone we are having an “intimate ceremony with those closest to us.” Are some people upset or offended to not be invited? Probably, but you can’t please everyone and they should understand the circumstances. Everyone is having to adjust. I have three step-brothers that consider my mom their mom, but I was out of the house before my mom got together with her now husband. While I gladly welcome them to holidays if they want to come, my mom didn’t even balk that they aren’t invited to our wedding.

I agree with Veronica that I wouldn't explain it by saying that you're only inviting immediate family because that's just likely to lead to an argument about what constitutes immediate family. I think it's difficult not to invite family without hurting feelings. It's absolutely your right and you're not obligated to include them, but I think it's bound to ruffle a few feathers no matter how you say it.

Maybe just tell your dad that due you need to keep the ceremony as small as possible due to COVID, and that you will celebrate with them next year when it's safer.

Thank you all for the advice. I like the wording of "those closest to us" -- I hadn't ever considered "immediate family" to include half-siblings. Unfortunately this is obviously never how we saw our wedding going down originally -- we would love to have our whole family there (we didn't invite our grandparents or our aunts/uncles/cousins either) but with COVID and a couple of really close friends and family members who are high-risk we have to make some tough decisions, which means keeping it as small as possible at this point. My half sister has expressed an urge to have a closer relationship with me and I'm open to it but at this point I would say we are not close at all so I can imagine myself getting married without her (and my other half-sibs and their families) there, but absolutely can't imagine getting married without the people we have already invited. Hopefully celebrating together next year will feel good and help everyone feel involved!

Half-siblings that are 20 years your senior and that you aren't close to shouldn't be an automatic invite, especially if you are trying to keep the list small. I say invite those you are closest to, irregardless of shared bloodlines.

It would be really unfair to your spouse-to-be, IMO, to include your half siblings and then nearly double your guest list with most of your guests being from your side. I think it's perfectly fine to say you needed to keep this intimate event super small due to the current situation but are excited to see your half-siblings at the bigger event next year.

I can’t believe people are telling you not to invite them. They are your blood. You guys share the same parent! Let your wedding be the reason y’all get closer. I get that they are 20 years older than you, but they are still your siblings. Tell them about how small the wedding is and ask them not to bring anyone until you have the big wedding or maybe they can at least bring their partners. And if it’s a financial reason, maybe see if your dad would help to pay.

View Quoted Comment Sharing blood with someone isn’t nearly as important as having a relationship with that person. My father wanted nothing to do with me when my mom got pregnant at 17, then magically appeared out of nowhere when I was almost 18. He never help support us, never sent birthday or holiday cards, and ignored every letter I sent trying to make contact with him as a child. Sure we share blood, but we will never have a close relationship.
I get where you’re coming from, but you should also consider the facts of the original post. She’s not inviting grandparents, who she shares blood with and is probably much closer to than her half-siblings. Nearly doubling numbers isn’t small, and she said she’s inviting her nieces
Not everyone’s families are willing or able to contribute financially. If yours are, that’s great, but I wouldn’t suggest that as a solution for someone I didn’t know.

Rude very, hurtful all of the above