Inviting some but not all?

Invite who you want, especially if you are paying for the wedding.

We didn't plan to invite most of my cousins because I don't talk to them -- rarely if ever see them at holidays, don't have their numbers, not connected on any social media, and I barely even know their spouses'/kids' names. And these are first cousins!

I asked myself if I would care if any of them were to get upset with me for not inviting them, and the answer was no. Didn't really give it a second thought!

(Granted, we did want to invite a group of my cousins that I don't get to see that often because of where they live, but adore and would see more if we could.)

The point is -- you pick and choose who you want to invite, you don't have to follow blanket rules of "inviting all the cousins" or anything like that. You also don't need to invite someone out of obligation, or owe other family members an explanation of why this person isn't being invited because it's not their wedding.

We did make one exception for a guest that my parents wanted there, but I didn't mind since the reasoning was nuanced and I was on the fence about them anyway. It sounds like your decision is a pretty easy one, and I'd stick with it!

Invite who you want. Don't allow anyone to guilt trip you.

If you aren't close then don't invite him. And don't let anyone guilt you. It's your wedding and you and your fiance are the ones who decide on who comes.


My fiance and I when we started to make our guest list we were at 200 before covid thanks to our parents putting pressure on us to invite their people. We wanted to only be at 120, so we decided to make a rule and stick with it. If we ourselves haven't seen or talked to the person in a year or more we removed them from the guest list. Obviously our parents weren't to happy but we told them if they wanted to party with these people they are free to at their own reunion party not our wedding.

Invite who you want, not what your family wants. It’s not up to them who you invite. I’d stop giving them details of your wedding.

If he didn't invite you, he can't really be offended that you didn't invite him. Invite who you want.

Catering at my wedding is $64 a person. i ask myself, "Would i pay $64 to see them?" and often if i have to ask, i know the answer. I would not invite him, your day is about you.

Good Luck!

I know that the proper etiquette states that either you invite all people who "belong" to a same circle or none of them. However you added He's a 3rd cousin , I assume the other 4 are 1st/2nd cousins.
So: this + the fact you're not close to him = you shouldn't feel bad for nont inviting him.
If you and your partner are footing the bill, the only opinions that matter are yours and your partner's. If some family members are paying or contributing, it puts you in a trickier situation since those people get a say on the guest list.The fact he didn't invite you is part of the answer, in my opinion.