Inviting someone you don’t like?

I felt like unless someone has abused me or otherwise hurt me or someone I love in some way, I could tolerate them at the wedding, even if they aren’t my favorite. I guess for me it would depend on why you don’t care for the person, what your partner says about it and how it might affect relationships. Ultimately, it’s up to you guys.

I would leave that decision up to your fiance. I know I am inviting a couple people my fiance isn't the most fond of, but if you are having a decently large wedding, chances are you can probably avoid this person all together.

Do you make nice around this friend on a regular basis? Or does he know you don't like him?
If you tolerate him regularly, then please don't make your wedding the event where you finally show him your true feelings (by purposely excluding him). it's going to cause unnecessary unrest. If you have an issue with him that needs to be addressed then it should be addressed under normal circumstances.
Unless he's done something really terrible, I wouldn't let my general dislike for someone stop me from inviting them if they are important to my fiancee.

I couldn’t imagine telling my FW that her friend can’t come to our wedding unless this person has put their hands on me or some otherwise, equally awful, offense. In that case, I would wonder why I was marrying someone who was friends with people who disrespected me.

H had a friend that I don't really care for in his wedding party. Because it's his friend and he wanted him there and involved. You should be making your list together and both inviting people that are important to you. You don' get to dictate his invite list, nor does he get to dictate yours.

**all of this unless said "friend" has a history of violence or sexual assault against you, etc.

I'm inviting someone from work who I can't stand, but I'm inviting her because I work for a small office and it would be super rude of me not since I'm inviting everyone else. All I can hope is she declines which I'm hoping for. But the thought of being rude and not inviting her makes me feel bad so I have to suck it up.

Yes. Aha there are people I invited I wasn't exactly fond of but did anyway to keep the peace.

Thanks for your input everyone. I’ll make my decision as we get closer to the wedding date before we send out invitations. We’ll see how I feel about it then

I can't stand one of my FH's nephews. He's a punk. I invited him because I like his wife and kids. Luckily he has to work so he's not coming. It's a hard situation. If you don't invite him it may seem like you're trying to come between their friendship. He should have a say in who is invited to. It's hard to say for sure without knowing why you don't like him

My fiancé is in a fraternity that has a sister sorority. When we started dating, many of the women were against our relationship (due to their loyalty to his ex) and treated me indifferently. We’ve been together 5 years and through the years some people got better and others remained the same. Fine. When it came down to starting the guest list there were names on there that I wasn’t too fond of. So, these are the questions I asked in response:
1) Are they really your friend? Regardless, of that loyalty to his ex, a friend of yours wouldn’t disrespect me out of respect for you.
2) How would you feel if I invited someone that disrespected you? Again, they don’t have to have a relationship but people should respect your significant other.

There are still people I’m not too fond of but they are his friends and never disrespected me which is different than those who have disrespected me. If they’ve been a genuine support to your fiancé and haven’t disrespected you, I’d say ignore your personal feelings. It’s still your fiancés day too. However, if they have disrespected you and haven’t made any attempts to apologize or reconcile or if they still are disrespectful, I’d fight against having them there.

hope this helps.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the insight. It was a really good read. His friend never really approved of our relationship and has only once spoken up about us staying “I’m too young for him” , which really hurt my feelings. I suppose I will have to think about it and make a decision close to the wedding date.

Hi there:

I ended up not inviting 1 co-worker because I didn’t want their spouse to attend (that was just ONE reason, there were a few other reasons).

View Quoted Comment Any regrets? Any aftermath (drama, hard feelings)?

View Quoted Comment No. Your Wedding guests should be people that appreciate, love, and support you as well as your union.

My decision to invite a few versus all of my co-workers was centered on that.

Everyone is not always “riding with you”. Sometimes they just want a front seat view of your “accidents”. As such, you have to be very careful who you allow into your car “life”.

Two of the uninvited were all over FB liking pictures, but still haven’t sent ONE “Congratulations” text.

There are a few people on both my fiance and my side who we really don't want there, but are inviting to keep our peace. We just owe that to ourselves and are trying to combat any negativity that may arise from not inviting them. It's unfortunate but, drama. Sigh...

My husbands cousin was not invited to our wedding, he was not considered at all. I really don't like him he bullied my husband growing up and still tries to do it now. When my husbands grandmother flew in for the wedding she asked us why he was not invited and I told her that I didn't not want him there because treated my husband and I disrespectfully and he was very unsupportive of marriage because he was cheated on so he'd often voice his opinion when not asked. My MIL told my husband that she'd give him her seat, lol, my husband laughed and told her that would not happen and told her not to start that we'd made up our mind.

My fh had one friend who I never got along with, even before we started dating. Guy is just a jerk. When me and my fh started dating he said something really inappropriate to me in front of my fh, he didn’t hear it because we were at a loud bar, but I told him afterwards and he was furious. It was at that moment I told him if we ever get married that guy isn’t invited, half joking because we had only been dating a short while. Lucky for me their friendship kind of ended after he moved away and they don’t keep in touch. But if nothing happened to make me not like one of his friends and I just didn’t care for them I wouldn’t have an issue with him inviting any of his friends. They are his friends and it’s his wedding too.

Do you just not get along with this person, or is there something about them that makes you worry?
DH had a friend who he had claimed he wanted to be his BM, years and years ago. I... found this person odious in his behavior online, and I suspected it would bleed over to real life. Lo and behold... he did. He alienated DH and a bunch of other people, all by himself. He was not invited to the wedding.

If there is something about this person that makes you feel unsafe/uncomfortable, then you do need to, carefully, bring it up with your FH.

If not, then just stick them at a faraway table...

None of FH’s friends have done anything downright hurtful or abusive directly to me (otherwise they would no longer be friends) but there is one friend of his that I can’t stomach. I sucked it up since they’ve been friends for 15 years and said fine invite him, especially since my FH and the rest of his friends are well aware of how their friend doesn’t understand social cues. Right now they are all on the outs with him, but i told FH to speak with him closer to the wedding and make sure he knows that I will not tolerate ridiculous behavior, and I will have him removed not just from the wedding, but from our lives as well if he causes problems. I hope this was helpful to you!

Yes, I’m in a situation like this. Due to that and several other reasons (not wanting to spend any money, being very shy, exedra) I decided to elope with my FH instead.