Inviting those you hope won't come...

I am spelling a friends wifes name wrong so she doesnt come. ( it has happened before ) i dont feel that she cares to be there OR supports our marriage. her husband was one of fs best friends for years ann in a year in a half she has never come over for a bbq, fights etc... and we bbq almost every weekend !!! oops, im sorry !!! lol im pretty evil. i wouldnt invite her but how do i say your husband is invited but your wife is a bitch and thinks her poop doesnt stink and shes better then me, or everyone for that matter ?!

Yep my "polite" invites; family who lives half across the country. Some family member we just aren't close to and the other half they sent us an invite, so I gotta send one back . I'm not paying for anyone's travel expenses so I know none of them will be showing up.

@Ashley T: that's awesome! Generally, I wouldn't think of myself of a supporter of the SMAA (Spelling Mistakes as Acts of Aggression), but I'm finding your "evil" pretty entertaining!!

We're inviting some people as a reciprocation (they invited us to theirs years ago), although we never talk to them. We also have some former co-workers/classmates that we're inviting totally as a formality. A bunch of them are finishing law school next summer, and one particularly nasty girl demanded that I schedule the wedding after the bar exam. When I did (NOT because of what she said, but because of the availability of the venue) and she got her save the date, she emailed me to say "So happy to see your after-the-bar wedding date!"

It's like, really?? Wow. So glad I could appease you!! This is what it's all about, right?? You and YOUR schedule!!

I am inviting a few people I know won't come (my college roomie lives in Beijing, etc). I'm not inviting anyone I wouldn't want to see there. Well, except for my dad's on-and-off girlfriend, but that's because he invited her along without asking me first. Grrr.

NOPE! Because what happens when all these people 'you know won't come', actually do? Not stress I wanted to deal with, we let parents invite a few guests we didn't particularily like, but most of them we for the dance social later on in the night, so it didn't up our budget on the food, decor (place settings) etc. The way I had to explain it to both sets of parents, numerous times, is that you have to plan and budget under the impression ALL GUESTS will attend, and I know that it's around 10% that don't show up, but still, It kept our expenses in check, and we had a GORGEOUS wedding, with tons of compliments, and came under budget.

I definitely know where you're coming from - I had to increase my committed headcount to the venue to accommodate people that FS's mother assured us would be there, only to find out as we get closer to the date, that NOPE - not a single one is attending...now I've either got to beg the venue to allow me to reduce the H/C or let me substitute another passed hors d'ouevre during the cocktail hour to make up the price difference. All because of the large number of people not attending that she guaranteed us would be there.

My fmil gave me a list people to invite and half of them fh had no clue who they were lol but i did invite some just because they are family but in reality i am hoping they dont come. i am really not sure how many are even coming cause i sent out 110 invites and only got back 21 rsvp cards. i did do facebook to see if anyone would rsvp on there but it was the ones who had already rsvp and made phone calls but never any returns

I can honestly say, when we enjoying our reception, it was nice to look around and know darn near every single person there, given there were a few people who we knew of, just never met. But heards lots about them.

We invited his step sister, we really didnt want her there, but also knew she would not come.

What we are doing for those who probably wont come is just send rsvp cards with one invite like my grandmas sister has like 6 kids and those kids have kids.... so what we are doing is sending 1 invite to the main family member(grandmas sister) then adding enough rsvps for all of her kids and such. most likely only 1 of her kids will show so it is cuting down on postage on those who we almost know 100 % will not be there, and we really dont care if they are there any way.

My moms parents actually. they still don't know about my daughter and she'll be 3 around christmas!! if they knew (or come) they will just sit there on their high horse and lecture my mother about how bad she messed me up and how bad of a mother she is. and nobody wants that!!

Yes! My mom went nuts inviting people. It's turned into a family reunion basically... I have no idea who these people are and thought they probably wouln't come... but they are!! I was hoping for 140 to 150 and am ending up with 175. I was in shock a week ago. I'm just going to focus on my fiance the whole night and let my mom deal with all the people! She's paying for all the extra people, but I'm kinda upset that they are taking up my dance floor!

We sent out a bunch of invitations to people we didn't think would be able to afford to come - we even made a A (def coming) B (probably not) and C (def not coming) lists so we'd have an idea of the amount of people and guess what? Half of the people on our C list ARE coming! lol lucky for us we are THRILLED with all of them so far!

We are having this problem because wanted to keep it with close family and close friends. BUT our Grandparents both have "tell it on the mountain" mouths and everyone they see the keep telling them about it. We are not being rude but we ant it to be intimate, comfortable and feasable. Having all these 6th cousins twice removed people is ridiculous. We are trying to keep it at 150 ppl. I don't want to invite co workers, neighbors, employees or distant friends.

The only reason we are inviting a bunch of people that we "hope" won't come is because our families are making us. ( FMIL and MOB) I placed my guest list cap at 150 and it climbed to 175 after my FMIL got her inputs and I am hoping that only 80-100 show lol (everyone has to travel and I picked out a Thursday night to cut it down 3 hours from home on purpose!!!! :-)) I know a lot of people are against during the week weddings but it will help cut my guest count down big time and it saves me almost 10,000 at my venue for picking an off day :-)

This is kinda related--- i recently went to a friends jewerly party (it was like a mary kay party) and she was soo upset!! she told me that she ahd invited 30 people, 15 rsvp'ed and only 3 showed up!! i know a jewerly party isnt nearly as big as a wedding but 3 out of 30?

I'm inviting my grandma even though I know she won't be able to come. She lives on the other side of the country and would never get on an air plane. We are sending her one. So that she knows we would love to be there even if it is only in spirit.

My FH actually declared this weekend that he doesn't want to risk one of his uncles showing up (lives about 45 min from the venue) because he doesn't think the Uncle behaves well toward the rest of the family, so no invite for him and the wife even though all the other relatives in town are getting an invite. FH has been all over the "its our wedding, we'll do it our way" philosophy lol. With that said we are inviting probably 20 guests that we know won't be able to come but will appreciate knowing they were thought of on our special day. We are also inviting some relatives (grandparents cousins) we've never had the occasion to meet but I know my grandparents would be tickled pink if they showed up and I think the cost of them at the wedding would be worth the smile on my grandfathers face. We are embracing Finally Mrs. Schmidt's idea and getting a venue that will fit all invitees and budgeting as though everyone will attend, to avoid any unexpected surprises.

Why are we inviting people we don't like?