Is 12 y/o too old to be the ring bearer?

Ditch the pillow for sure. Just have him carry the rings in his pocket, maybe in a nice velvet box or something that matches the destination theme? (like shells for beach) Then when it is time for your ring exchange the officiant can call him up to present the rings.

Personally, I'd prefer the role of ring bearer/ flower girl to start trending to older children. As a 12 year old, you don't have to worry about him crying, or throwing the rings out of frustration of being dressed up, or getting confused and turning around mid-aisle to run to a relative he spotted, or otherwise interrupting the ceremony all because it's "cute".


I agree with the above response that he could carry them in a ring box in his jacket to look less childish. And since you have no bridesmaids for your side, instead of having him stand by his father's side, you could have an assigned chair right in front for him to sit after delivering the rings.

Agree with ditching the pillow, that is the part that makes it seem silly and childish. He can choose if he wants to walk down the aisle or if he would rather sit, and then be called up to present the rings when it is time.

While people do all kind of things, personally I would call him a junior groomsman, which is more appropriate to his age. He can still be responsible for handing over the ring if you like. Sides do not have to be even if they don’t work out that way.

View Quoted Comment This is a great idea, thanks for sharing. I will run this by FH to get his thoughts. It would be so sweet to have him stand by his dad during the ceremony, I never thought about this. Ty!!

I like the junior groomsman suggestion, but I don't think anyone is too old to be a ringbearer/flower girl... case in point, we're having my grandmothers be the flower girls so they can have some fun involvement in the day!

I’ve seen adult men and elderly women (bride’s grandmas) as flower girls, so do what you want! Call him the ring escort or something, and definitely ditch the pillow. Just give him a nice box to carry in his pocket.

A jr groomsman position would be more appropriate. Also, the young children who act as ring bearers never carry the actual rings and are symbolic, the rings are often carried by the officiant, best man or maid of honor.