Is a year dating too short to get married?

To me, 1 year of dating is a little short to get engaged BUT you have to know your own relationship. I would be more concerned about the 4 month engagement honestly. Unless you are planning a very small wedding or elopement, it will be extremely difficult to find an available venue and other vendors in that amount of time. It's also pretty short notice if anyone needs to travel, book hotels, flights, etc. Most traditional bridal shops take 6-8 months turn around plus alterations time, so you would have to buy off the rack or purchase a non-traditional dress/outfit. I think it would be a good idea to extend your engagement and make sure you have taken the time to know that you are both on the same page with everything including finances, plans for children, career goals, etc. Pre-marriage counseling might also be a good idea.

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You've got just about the same timeline as my FH and I. We were engaged after 4 months, and will be together a year and 5 months when we get married at the end of the year.

I knew my FH for 4 months when I realized I wanted to marry him. We didnt get engaged until almost a year and a half later, but that was just the timing of our lives and issues from my family. We have a 2.5 year engagement for budget/my dream wedding date only. If we could pull off a wedding in 4 months after knowing each other a year, we would have done it.
You do what makes you happy. You know your relationship. You have to live it, not them.

I think every couple is just so different that it's not something that can be defined by a set amount of time for everyone.


So if you and your fiance feel like it's right and that you're both mature and can communicate well, then so be it.

Dating for a year and then getting engaged is not too short 🙄 Lol don’t listen to anyone saying otherwise. As long as you’ve had serious conversations about finances, household responsibilities, what you expect out of a marriage, and out of your life together, and you both feel the same, you’re fine. When you know, you know! I’d only caution you about the engagement period because only having 4 months to plan would be stressful!! Venues fill up fast, and you wouldn’t really have the option to buy a dress and have it made for you if that’s something you wanted to do. Being engaged for a little longer is not a bad thing! 😊 good luck!

My FH and I were "dating" for about a month before we moved in together. We were together just over a year before getting engaged. We knew it was what we wanted. We had been through just about everything you could in the first year...Moving from our apartment to our place now, me having brain surgery 7 months into our relationship with an additional 6 months of complications and being off work, money issues, communication issues...We saw how we worked in stressful situations...we got through everything and came out much better on the other side. It is really up to you guys whether or not you are ready.

We met mid July, engaged the next May, married mid October, have 5 kids and 12 years happily married so far.
We were 27 and 28 when we married, however. Had eachgone to college, then worked, then been in the military, then grad school. More than a decade each of paying our own bills, finding and caring for where we lived, multiple jobs. So though we had no money we managed to pay off all school loans, separately since we had just met, so no debt for either of us. And we really knew how to talk through issues with each other. And were and are very much on the same page over kids, priorities for work, where and how to live, and money. At 17 or 20, I would have not had the same certainty in such a short time. The two of us come from extremely different backgrounds, race and culture and religion. But are remarkably in agreement on most things, and open minded, & have the same values. That, an a little maturity do make a difference in marital success, when you have only known each other a short time. Be happy!

My husband and I dated for nine months before getting engaged; we had known each other for a year, total. We were then engaged nine months before getting married. That entire eighteen months we were long distance, with a total of about three months that we were in the same city and able to see each other every day. We have now been married 5.5 years.

I think it is totally fine to date someone for a short period of time and have a short engagement IF you feel that you have worked out expectations for your marriage. In our case, my husband was of the mindset that, because we would be long distance, we were either serious and expecting the relationship to result in marriage or we shouldn't pursue the relationship at all. We are from religious backgrounds, so even though we were out of college and living on our own, neither of us expected to cohabitate before marriage. All of those factors influenced how we pursued our relationship. We spent a great deal of time talking about serious topics like money, careers, children, our relationships with our respective families (we had a lot of aging/dying grandparent issues at the time so how we would interact with our families came up A LOT).

Many people will tell you that you have to live with someone and date for a long time before getting married. I disagree; whether someone leaves their socks on the floor or loads the dishwasher "wrong" is usually not what leads to divorce. If you feel that you and your fiance are aligned on the big picture issues: money, family, future, etc, then you will be fine. If you feel like you haven't figured those out yet, that is a sign that more time would be good.

As for a short engagement: if you want a wedding with all the bells and whistles in 2020, four months is most likely not enough time. If you are willing to buy a dress off the rack, host a smaller, simpler affair, and make other concessions, it may not be an issue.

Good luck!

I think some of this depends on how old you are tbh.

I've been with my FH for 10 years. We got together in high school when we were 15/16. If we got married at any point before this, we'd probably already be divorced. I mean, maybe not. But the first year was amazing, year 3 was HARD and we broke up/were on and off for a year, (we moved in together when we got back together almost 7 years ago), then years 5-6 were a lot of growing and working out the kinks in our relationship. Honestly the last 2 years have been the happiest of our relationship (meaning, I feel like each year we have progressively gotten happier since we got back together 6/7 years ago).

This is what is right for US though. A lot of people think we are crazy that we waited this long.

We both constantly look back and laugh at our younger selves like "wow we THOUGHT we knew each other" or "wow we THOUGHT that was how to do this relationship" "LOL we were clueless"...and in 10 more years we will probably look back at our first year of marriage and say "wow that was a disaster! good thing we learned!" haha.

There are a lot of factors to consider in this and there's definitely not a "one size fits all" answer. Although I wouldn't suggest that all couples get engaged after only a year, I also believe that when you truly know yourself, you know how to trust your gut.

Secondly, I would consider factors such as how old you both are and how established you are in life/careers. These are things that can easily make or break a relationship because you will definitely need more than just love to survive as a married couple.

Lastly, I would say to extend the engagement and take premarital counseling. Also spend some time living together prior to getting married and try celibacy during that time. If you can survive all of these things, then I'd say you're ready.

Some couples have arranged marriages and they don't even meet until shortly before their wedding, but they end up having a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime. Some people date and live together for nearly a decade then get married but divorce shortly after. There isn't one perfect recipe for marriage, but for me personally I would want longer to get to know someone and their family, live with my partner, see them at their best and their worst, etc before choosing to spend the rest of my life with them. I also think age is a factor as well - when you are younger and just establishing a career, etc it may be more challenging to know where you see your life long term, whereas individuals who have established careers, homes, etc might have an easier time knowing where a partner fits into their life plan and might feel more ready to commit to marriage after a shorter period of time.

My FH and I were together for 4 years before he proposed. We're both in our mid-30s, and we lived together for 3 years first. If he has asked me to marry him on our second anniversary, I would have said yes without hesitation but he needed that extra time to be "all in" and it was well worth it. Personally, I don't think you can rush marriage, and only you and your partner together can know when the time is right for you.

It's no ones business but yours. I got engaged less than a year after dating however I had been best friends with my finance for almost 10 years so it was kind of anticipated haha

I don't think you need to necessarily be dating your partner for long to know you want to marry them. I do think, however, if you guys didn't know each other before dating that you really sit down with just yourself and go over your feelings to make sure you are 100% ready to be married to him

View Quoted Comment Ah, the famous Mama knows test.. both of ours, and my Papa, decided and either talked out it with our sibs, or were overheard, after the very first meeting with me or him, that we were keepers. Of course, his father loudly pronounced ( first meeting, overheard. Second visit, loudly and to my face in front of family at dinner,) "I don't even know what you are and never met anyone of your kind in all my 65 years, never mind whether or not we are going to let our son (27) keep seeing you. ". 😆 But our mom's, totally different in every aspect of race, language at home, culture, education, occupation , are sisters under the skin. And saw, we had a match of values and problem solving, temperament and goals.
And my Dad, too.

I will mirror what a lot of pps are saying when they said only you know. I would not discourage you from holding off on marrying the person of your dreams. When you know, you know. If it feels right for the both of you, then go for it. And your family members aren't in your relationship and don't get a say in your personal life. Fiance and I have been together for 6 years and have 2 daughters together. Before we even became official in our relationship, we had some family members sounding off on our blossoming relationship, one of fiance's cousin back in 2014 was trying so hard to discourage us from getting married because her marriage failed.. because she cheated.. it was RIDICULOUS. Projecting their negative energy on us Some folks will try their hardest to stop a good thing from getting better... it's really pathetic and sad. Guess how much support we have now, 6 years later? Haha... do what makes you and your partner happy. Only you two know how you feel and what you want to do going forward in your relationship

We dated for 1 year and 4 months and our engagement is 5 months long. It’s definitely not too short. 2 of my cousins dated for a year and had a 6 month engagement. It’s not at all uncommon if you’re worried about that. But in the end it’s what’s right for you! If you’re ready then you’re ready. As for having an opinion they can have as many as they want. You just don’t have to listen to them!

I don’t think it’s a problem. The amount of time to me matters less than the quality of that time and the experiences you have had together. Also, as you get older, you tend to have a clearer idea of what you want. As far as the length of engagement, what kind of wedding do you want to have? Do you want to just elope? Or have a small, intimate wedding? If you want to just elope or have a small wedding, 4 months isn’t baaaaad but if you’re trying to plan a bigger wedding, I would definitely extend that engagement! Best of luck to you, girl!

If you're asking for personal opinions, I would have to say yes it's kinda short. I think within the first year you are still in the honeymoon phase which is great, everything is wonderful, but I think you need to take some more time learning about each other before this commitment. FH and I got engaged after 2 years, however, we were SUPER close, he has been my best friend 4 years prior to that, and we are having a 3 year engagement. (the long engagement is due to a DW, so that's its own separate thing lol) Those 4 years gave me a great insight into the person he was, we had our fair shares of up and down, fights and make ups, and those 2 years encouraged him to open up to me on a more personal and intimate level. I think before getting married, if it is something you guys can do, to live with each other first. My FH and I have different living styles and it really took sometime to get on the same level. A lot of people say thats a good way to test your relationship as well.

However, regardless of ALL of that. You need to do what you guys think is best for you! If possible, may try to extend your engagement just a bit, it could be helpful for you regardless because there is so much that goes on with wedding planning.

Best of luck and congratulations on the engagement!

My fiancé proposed to me after three weeks of dating and we have been together for 9 months now. Our wedding date is set in 7 months. Everyone since then been overjoyed, my parents were happy, and now they are not so hot about it. This has been hurting me for some time now. Life has kicked in, but we have been doing great at working thorough it. We are starting pre-marital counseling next week, and with all of this going on we are speaking about possibly pushing the wedding back another year. No, I do not think that 4 months is too short of an engagement, when you know, you know, so why wait? (as my fiancé always says.)

My husband and I got engaged after 13 months of dating. We knew within the first month or two of dating we wanted to get married. We had MANY conversations about marriage, including all those hard conversations about finances, children, where to live etc etc etc. We moved in together a few weeks after getting engaged (which gave us a full year before getting married to adjust to living together). If you know, you know... but be sure you aren’t just focused on the wedding and actually have gone through the steps to make a marriage.

For us it was 18 months before we got engaged, but we'd courted, like other people have said, and lived together practically from the beginning. We've had health scares, money issues, bought a house, and he's supporting me going through master's degree programs. We'll be together 2 1/2 years when we get married in 2 weeks (!!!) But to reiterate, I think it's the life you've lived together. Being through tough times I think is more important than time. Also, living together was a HUGE adjustment. And that's without another apartment to retreat to if you get mad at each other. Learning to cohabitate was the biggest challenge, along with financial flux. Good luck to you!