Is anyone else having a Dessert-Only reception?

Mmm..dessert.

I'm having an dessert only reception but I'm also having my wedding around 2:30ish and have sandwhichs and other non dessert foods waiting for those who are in need of real food

Thank you Swin.

That all made my knees wavy too. But I'll drop it.

I don't think Celia is judging the LDS faith. I think she, as a minister, is looking at the human beings in this equation. She doesn't understand, and neither do I, how children -- the offspring of the bride -- are prohibited from witnessing a union that will forever change the direction of their lives. It doesn't seem inclusive -- it seems exclusive.

She, as a minister and a human being, is allowed to express this simple and predictable human response. I have no doubt that her pastoral message is one of inclusion, not exclusion. Therefore, she's troubled by this edict. The LDS faith won't suffer because of it, but that doesn't mean the non-Mormons of the world can't respond to it.

I grew up in Utah. I'm not LDS but the majority of my friends are and I have been to a lot of LDS receptions (not once a wedding, because they were all temple or family-only).

If everyone in the family and friend group is LDS this is not only approved but applauded. People are often told that if their marriage doesn't occur in a temple, it is not a real marriage (my friend getting married in June has heard this from her more religious family time and time again in recent months). So yes, marrying in the temple is considered the height of appropriate for Utah LDS.

For those of us who are not LDS we find it strange, and sad (not having your kids is awful).

The dessert-only receptions are not weird to Utah custom, she's right about that. I do find the timing to be off--I've never gone to an evening one--always mid-day.

In return, guests do not gift like they would. I've seen people give a handful of change to the couple on their wedding day (that will always be my all-time favorite gift). Typically a $20 gift is given. I've seen checks for $10, $15. People aren't hosted well, so they don't gift well.

When people say that there are places in this country where tradition doesn't match WW etiquette, Utah was what they were talking about, lol.

One thing that is important with religion is we must realize this is something people hold dear to themselves. That's why I think it's best to not really comment on differences or dislikes because it just makes people boiled, and that's really not what this board, or even this post, is about.

I understand why Celia and Centerpiece, and Matt, feel the way they do. It IS one of the harder points of our faith to wrap ones head around. But, I promise you if in ANY way, shape or form I felt my kids were in the slightest bothered by it, I'd opt for the civil ceremony and get sealed later, even if I had to wait the one yr waiting period afterward. But, they're not. To them, because they have been raised in the faith, it's just normal... how it's done. So they are not feeling slighted. It probably helps because last summer one of their friends' moms got re-married in the LDS temple. This does not happen often. In my 30 years of convert membership, I only know of 3 people who are LDS who have remarried in the temple. Anyway, they saw how that went. That their friends waited outside for mom, and then all erupted into cheering when they exited. The took pictures with mom and their new siblings up at the temple. I'm not sure if they went out to eat after or what they did. Then at 6:30 we all met at the Stake Center.

An aside, the LDS is divided up kind of like schools. It's all done by where you live. That's your ward. And then a bunch of wards are housed in a single Stake, kind of like a district. Stake buildings are bigger, meant to house more then one ward at a time.

The Cultural Hall, or multi-purpose room, was decorated for a reception. Mom walked in on oldest brothers arm to be "given away". The Bishop said some lovely words about the couple. Then they each exchanged written "vows" for lack of a better way to say it. Then they exchanged rings. Turned and greeted their "crowd" who were all seated at their tables. There was cake cutting, bouquet toss, dancing, photo booth, pictures, etc... Just like a wedding.

Really the only thing they are missing out on is the "official" legal ceremony. It's 20 minutes, and honestly the kids care more about the pomp and circumstance and being involved than they do at what point it became a legal joining. They do, however, care about the eternal aspect of it. That's important to them.

It should be noted, though, that a parent cannot have the children "sealed" to them and their new spouse for "time and all eternity", UNLESS the other biological parent gives permission. Otherwise, you have to wait till the child comes of legal age to make that choice for themselves.

The musical, The Book of Mormon, already left me thinking wow really? Dude just made shit up and told people he was the only one who could tell other what God said? Crazy much. Glad my parents aren't Mormon.

Gettibg married without your parents able to be there or your kids.......that just adds to me not liking. But whatever. You do you

However, when it comes to dessert reception.....girl you need more desserts! !!!! I'm having more at my dinner and dessert reception. And I like the dessert bar rather than at each table. Different height cake stands and bowls on different levels. Look at pinterest. Some of them are awesome!!!

Chocolate, I wouldn't base my knowledge on something off of a parody.

AMW- I don't believe people don't gift well, because they aren't hosted well. LDS are taught to be frugal, not showy. So, it wouldn't really fit for us to show up with a big beautiful expensive gift. I think that might be considering showing off. And no one feesl they aren't being hosted well. We are there to CELEBRATE with them, not for the food or the hosting. We just want to be apart of their special moment, and show our support. The only time, I have ever wished I had known was at that wedding last summer. It was at 6:30, with cheese, crackers, candy, cookies and cake. I'm pre-diabetic, so I need to eat. And at 6:30 had expected something more substantial. NOTHING had been mentioned in the invite. But, honestly, I saw that more as "if I had been to more, I might have known what to expect".... more MY fault for assuming, then hers. That's why my intent will be clear in the invite, so ppl know what to expect and can prepare ahead of time.

Chocolate- there will be more desserts. I was just paraphrasing for lack of better way to say it, rather than listing them all down.

I find it sad that this is normal, to exclude family as close as children, from something so important. I get it, its normal. But its the fact that its normal that bothers me.

Dessert and apps sound good.

But why a 2-hour drive? I'm from Texas, so explain it to me using town names.

I suppose so, OP. But I think the handful of change and the checks for $10 are far more insulting than just giving well wishes in a card and no gift. Frugality is one thing, being cheap (and putting no thought into a gift) is another.

Either way it sounds like you have your plans well under way, good luck to you on your day!

Parodie are based on truth which means with that logic.... was it really once proposed that the Irish should eat their kids? I mean it is based on the fact that they were starving.

....See what I did there?

@E-Tex They have churches all over, but not temples. Only the temple-worthy can enter a temple (but regular church members can go into the regular churches). I imagine her temple (or the one she has chosen to get married in, not necessarily the closest) is two hours away.

http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/maps/utah/

I appreciate you at least taking the time to educate some of us. While we don't always agree, I can certainly respect your religion and culture.

E-Tex, I live just outside of Round Rock, near Taylor. And our nearest Temple, the one we are "zoned" for (though I could go to any I wanted, even out of state) is in San Antonio. Since it's the closest, that's the one I'm sticking to.

AMW, I am not asking for gifts. The only things I'd want at this stage in my life (that I don't have) are more then I'd expect a person to pay... think KitchenAid and bread machine What I would really like though, is just a card so we can put them all in a scrapbook.

Oh I didn't mean that you were. Just explaining to other girls that a dessert-only reception is not rude in UT, and they gift accordingly too. Everything is more casual in UT.

Im not crazy about sweets so id be really upset if only dessert was served