Is anyone else having a Dessert-Only reception?

Thank you for being so patient and explaining your faith. With the clarifications I think your idea of having them displayed at each table is great!

Wow. I feel educated this morning. Thank you for that.

A hot chocolate bar sound delicious and some mixed nuts would be a good add on for a little salt with all that sugar.

If I went to a reception where all they served is dessert, I'd not stay long.

In every parody there is a kernal of truth.

Checking out the day of its going to cause you so much stress. I'd avoid that if you can.

Thank you Ms. Wade. I honestly didn't mean to hold your feet to the fire, and I appreciate your gracious and detailed response. It sounds to me like you have done all the work to follow your path with confidence, and I really admire that.

Katy, I'm sorry if you found it disgusting,(and it has nothing to do with being a vendor,or an officiant by the way....) but the faithful question their faith all the time; it's vital to a strong belief system. It's not closed minded to suggest that; just the opposite, you really make no sense. This was not, "Oh, you're pastafarian? That's stupid". This was more like "Oh, the rules say your family can't come? That's sad". And I was far from the only person who brought that up. You seem to think that as a vendor and an officiant I might act differently. Sorry.

Everyone should examine why they believe what they do, and whether the faith they were brought up in serves them well. That is a tenet that every minister in any progressive church will encourage of their congregants. An examined faith is a stronger faith. Coming back to a belief system after you've questioned it means it's truly the path for you. It's not a default, it's an actual choice. It's clear that Mrs. Wade has done that, in a way that is far more thorough and intentional that we might have guessed from her original post. (Not a criticism)

Personally, I started out Unitarian, went to the United Church of Christ and am now leaning again towards Unitarianism, which is sort of a DIY religion that relies on the dignity and humanity of every person and the responsibility of each member to intentionally make their own path. Ther are Christians in it (about 10% self identify as Christians) and everyone is welcome to come to church, no matter what their beliefs, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. It makes for quite a challenge in preaching, but people who are looking for a church home without all the hoops love it. For people who find comfort in ritual, it probably won't work. The biggest ritual we have is coffee hour. We do great coffee hour.

CS Lewis, the wildly popular science fiction author came to Christianity late in life after being an atheiest for most of it. He then wrote many well respected essays on theology, many of which I encountered at Union. Karl Barth, Bonhoeffer; every great theologian encouraged/encourages exploration of one's faith.

All that being said, I can respect any religion, but I find it difficult to understand how some of these complex rules are made, and once we start making parameters about who is good enough to go to a building? Then you lose me. If I was told that most of my relatives weren't good enough to come to my wedding? I'd be asking some serious questions. Who is qualified to judge your family?

As Anne Lamott would say, "If God tells you what to do, that's fine, but when God tells you to tell me what to do, then we have an issue." (Paraphrased from memory)

Mrs. Wade, I hope you have a wonderful day. I'd do little platters of dessert on each table (the caterer comes out) , We used to do big (like 18' or so) platters with a little precut cake in the middle and mini desserts all around the outside; cookies, rugulah, chocolate dipped berries, lemon squares.

But I would also suggest, as someone else did, that you add something non sweet and if it is at all possible, have the reception not at dinner time, unless everyone coming knows what to expect.

I wish you a wonderful, wonderful day, and thank you again for engaging (no pun intended) in a dialog.

@FutureMrsWade: I'm not sure if this was mentioned before, but if I read correctly, all of your options are sugar-based. Will you have any sugarless desserts? (Like, something made with Splenda instead of straight up sugar). Or, would you consider having veggie and cheese trays? There might be people who can't eat a lot of sugar - ot at all.

@Celia: I wish I knew someone like you in real life. I would love to find a theologian - or someone who has studied theology - who would be open to explaining faith issues from an objective perspective. All the ones I've met so far are also very strict members of their religion (whatever that is), and have never really questioned their faith or beliefs.

@FutureMrsWade: Thanks for taking the time to explain all of this. I think it's one of the best explanations I've read of how the LSD faith works, if not the best. Maybe it's because you've really done your research, or explored the "other" side, but in any case it made a lot of sense to me.

I have never attended an LDS reception but here is what I would do for a dessert reception, especially one that seems more drop-in, casual, and larger (right?). I would have several dessert tables in the room with cupcake stands of differing heights to display the food. What are you using for the drinks? Is there a bar or will you need coolers for the ice and bottles? Make sure these are in several places around the room as well. Also, I know you mentioned you're considering adding nuts, but maybe a few other non-sweet options? I'm not a big dessert person and you may have guests who are avoiding sugar for a variety of reasons. Chips, pretzels, dips, whatever. It doesn't have to be fancy.

As for your timeline, I really think you need to figure this out ASAP. I would suggest finding a way to treat the guests who attend your temple wedding to either lunch or dinner. Especially your immediate family -- I can't imagine your children are going to be able to go all day without much food. So you could get ready early in the morning at your hotel. Then do lunch either close to your hotel or close to the temple (whatever works for you). It could even be sandwich trays at your hotel while you get ready. Then drive to the temple, temple wedding. You should do a meal for yourself, immediate family, and those who attend your temple wedding somewhere between the temple wedding and the dessert reception. Trust me, you're going to want real food.

I'm not going to pretend to understand being okay with immediate family not being allowed to attend my wedding, but my faith is very different than yours. It sounds complicated and difficult to figure out, so good luck.

@vc you can know me in real life, lol! Just gimme a buzz!

Wow... so much goodness!! This thread could have spiraled horribly out of control, but it didn't. I'm proud of how we have all maintained level heads and discussions calmly and respectfully. In the WW world, I've seen a lot in my 5 years on here

Celia, I don't see it as judging. I see it like a ride at amusement park, there are rules to ride on it. You can't be pregnant, drunk, have a heart condition, must be this tall, and have to obey other rules once on, like buckling up, keeping your hands inside the ride. The Temple is open to all who take the time to learn of our faith and decide our tenets resonate within them. Sacred rites and ordinances happen in that temple, and so we actually ask our members not to be just mouthpieces about what they believe while they live so differently from that, but to actually LIVE what we and they preach. If the person who endeavors to go inside the Temple, wishes to do so badly enough, then they will straighten out the kinks where they need to, to not just espouse our gospel, but live it. The only place whee I feel this isn't fair, is to the younger children. Because the rites and ordinances in there are the most sacred to our faith, one has to have gone through some of them themselves. You cannot do that for yourself till the age of adulthood, 18. That leaves the little guys stuck. They are not old enough, so they cannot "play". At age 12, a pre-teen can get a temple recommend (limited use) to do the very first of the 3 ordinances. I think as long as they qualify for that, they should be able to attend a marriage. I also think those younger then 8 (which is the age of accountability and baptism), should be allowed as well, because they are deemed innocent. Between 8-12, I see no reason why they cannot make an appointment for their own temple recommend interview, in special cases such as a parent or sibling marries. But, it is not up to me to make the rules, just respect them. Just like here on WW, or in many other areas of our lives. However, I would like to see some more family friendly changes to some of the rules of my faith. They can be very stringent, and while I respect that I can see how it turns others away too, and I hate that.

Timeline, I was revising this last night. I had a sketch prior to this, but reading everyone's replies made me rework a few things.

10:45am- Checkout of hotel in Round Rock

11:00am- Lunch around the corner from hotel

12:00pm- Leave for San Antonio. Since we're just doing salads, it shouldn't take long.

2:00pm- arrive at the Temple (GoogleMaps says 1hr and a half, I gave a little leeway there)

2:30pm- Sealing (wedding/marriage; takes about 20min)

3:00pm- Done, begin pictures around the grounds

4:00pm- Dinner at friends house just down the road, she's already offered to host our small group

5:00pm- Head back to Round Rock area

7:00pm- arrive for the Ring Ceremony & Reception

9:00pm- Wrap-up & Done

*I'm pre-diabetic, so it's very important that I eat, especially on a day when adrenaline and stress will play havoc with my blood sugar levels. For breakfast I am doing powdered donuts with little cut-outs of diamonds in them for the kids. An OJ with Sprite ice cubes (virgin mimosas). There is no drinking in the LDS faith. For me, the hotel room has a kitchen so I am hoping to get something with a little more protein, like a ham and cheese omelet.

Just have a suggestion for your drink selection...although I love the hot cocoa bar idea, and I see you are also providing juice and sprite but it seems like it's sweet on top of sweet. I personally like to drink non sweet drinks with dessert so how about adding tea options (it's economic and there's plenty of flavors to choose from even non caffeinated ones).

LDS don't drink tea.... I have water, and the apple juice is supposed to be mixed with sprite for toasting. It's like a cheap version of sparkling cider.

@Celia: Thanks I will!

@colombiana_ac: Hola!! I also don't like non sweet drinks... OP, how about water or sparkling water with slices of orange and lime?

Do you like flavored lemonade? I do. A ton. And I feel like that's something lots of people do.

And I second VC with the water options. YUM.

And Celia, I think it is a very important part of anyone's religious experience to decide what is right for them. I completely agree with that. I think your second response helped me understand more about what you meant and I think that's good. I think that everyone has the RIGHT to believe how they want to, and no one should ever be questioned on that, but questions from ourselves DO help us figure out what we want and are looking for in our religion. Thanks for the clarification!

I read some of the post that explained your religion because I was curious. The rest I skipped so if someone gave you advice on how to make your dessert reception look nice I am sorry. I would do fruit, veggies, cheese, and crackers, and a good quality of desserts. Since the desserts are the main focus of the food make then pretty and taste wonderfully. I would arrange the veggies, fruits, and cracker in nice baskets or good quality glass or plastic serving bowls. The desserts can be on all kinds of serving trays and dishes. You can cover bricks and weighted down boxes with sand with material to add height and dimension to your table. You can decorate with pictures of you two or even fresh or silk flowers. You make even think about adding pretzels and a nice colorful mints. You can make this look beautiful. You may want to check into renting a couple of punch fountains so people can just fill their glasses themselves instead of having someone to the glasses. Make everything a good disposable plastic so clean up will go faster. I ope this helps. Congrats!!!!!!!

It sounds as though the ceremony is going to be private with just yall and maybe the bridal party. So my guess is that you are having a reception with guests after the ceremony but no guests at the actual ceremony? In that case my fiancé and I are having a dessert only reception as well but our ceremony is not only in the same building but also doesn't start until 630pm. We will have it all displayed on a dessert table that will come out during the room flip and cutting the cake directly after our entrance so that we can get the first dances done and then let everyone have cake and desserts. Also put it VERY clearly on the invites that no dinner will be served. If they have a problem with that and it makes them not come to the wedding then so be it. You know the people who love you the most will come no matter what.

Can you afford to offer a few savory bites too? Some people aren't big on dessert, so it would be nice to have variety.